^^Above, chapter title credit: Song by Bananarama.^^

{Raina}

Sometimes I feel like I'll never understand Geoff. He can be perfectly sweet to me sometimes, especially when he runs his hands and his lips over my skin. Or when he kisses my scars, telling me that no matter what, I'll always be beautiful to him. And then there's times like this morning, when he calls with no warning and tells me he won't be coming home. I've had to sleep in our bed alone before, but this time, it seems more empty than usual.

He gets home late the next night while I'm still awake, an old movie with low volume on the television. Cam's asleep in the crook of one arm, and Ettie's nestled herself under the other, pressed into my side with her head drooped on my shoulder. I'm dozing off myself, until I hear the door open softly and he comes in, his hair mussed and his shirt buttoned unevenly.

I sit up. "Geoff?" I whisper.

He puts a finger to his lips, and then in one movement he scoops up Ettie, looping her arms around his neck. That, I guess, is my cue to follow. I hold Cam close to my chest as I get up, making sure to not jostle him too much.

After we've put them both to bed, Geoff pulls me out into the hall and wraps his arms tightly around me. I don't ask why, because I can tell just by the tension in his muscles there's something wrong. So instead I slide my own around his back, as far as they'll go, and say nothing.

"God, Raina, I think I screwed up," he says after a while.

"What did you do?" I ask, keeping my tone neutral.

"I made a deal with Eckles. He's given me two weeks to think about it." He sighs, and I feel his chest rise and fall under my ear. "You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I've found out."

"Wouldn't I?" I reach up, rubbing his shoulder. "Try me and see."

He explains everything: his conversation with Hugo, the accident, Pascal, Eckles, the merger, Ridley. Always Ridley. He has to let me go to do it, pacing up and down the hallway. I wish I hadn't told him he was on his own when it came to Ridley. If he's the one who took my best friend from me, I have as much of a reason to want to get back at him as Geoff does.

"So what will you do?" I ask when he's done, leaning against the wall and propping a foot on it.

"I don't know, that's the thing." Geoff stops pacing long enough to sigh, and rake a hand through his hair. "I don't trust Eckles, but I trust Ridley even less."

"But at least now you know Ridley officially burned another bridge." I sigh too.

"And Eckles was the only one who was willing to fund him." Geoff scuffs his foot on the floor. "So why would he even risk it?"

"You know Ridley. Any publicity is better than no publicity."

"But who could do this? What does Ridley have to gain by trying to kill his benefactor?" Geoff clutches at his head, like it hurts. "He's wrecking my head, Raina. Wrecking it."

"Geoff, come here." I see the tension in his arms, his neck, his shoulders. When he doesn't stop pacing, I have to say it firmer. "Come here, Geoff."

He does, standing directly in front of me. His chest hitches, in and out, and in the dim light of the hall it's hard to read his expression. I reach out and rub his shoulder, and then slide my hand up to cup the side of his neck.

"Look, I know I said I wouldn't help you anymore, but I want to. Please, Geoff. You have to let me in. I love you and whether you like it or not, we're each other's family now." When he tries to look away, I catch his chin and make him look at me. "Don't push me away anymore."

"But there's so many people wanting to take advantage of you, Raina." He leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine. "You saw...Eckles, Pascal, Ridley..."

"I know." I rub his arm, and then take his hand to kiss his palm. "But when it comes to you, or our kids, I'd do anything."

He pulls me into his arms again, pressing me tightly against him. "I don't want to talk anymore. I just want to go to sleep and wake up next to you, like a normal husband and wife."

I let myself relax against him, feeling his weariness and frustration seeping into me. If I could, I'd soak it all out of him. "Okay. I can do that."

≈

Cam doesn't let me sleep in the next morning. I hear him making soft groaning noises while the light's still gray, the prelude to his full-blown crying. When that happens I have to get up as quickly and quietly as I can, lifting him from his crib and allowing him to start nursing right away. He's got us well-trained, all right. We hop to his every need, and just by doing that he seems to have realized that just a noise and not a tantrum will suffice.

Geoff wakes up soon after, and I feel him move as I sit on the bed with Cam. I feel his hand running across my back in slow strokes. At that I turn my head to look at him out of the corner of my eye, and he smiles at me.

"Wish I could get you undressed as easily as he does."

"Geoff." I feel my ears burn. "That's because he's my son."

He sits up, moving so he's right behind me and beginning to rub my bare shoulder. His other hand brushes my hair aside and he kisses the back of my neck.

"Geoff, stop it." My cheeks burn. When he feels sorry for himself, he starts to get clingy, and I wish he wouldn't. "Not in front of him."

"Oh, he doesn't mind." He rests his chin on my shoulder, looking down at Cam. He's done nursing now, and waves his little hands at Geoff. "Hey, buddy."

"I think he wants to see you." I maneuver him into Geoff's arms, and then readjust my clothing. When I turn back around, Geoff's holding Cam with hands right under his arms. Cam bats at his face with his fingers, making Geoff's face scrunch up. He nuzzles his face into Cam's stomach, making them both laugh.

That makes me smile too, just knowing they're happy. It's more than I ever could have asked for.

≈

It takes about three months for everything to be finalized, but Geoff and Eckles finally decide on the terms of their merger. They'll each keep separate facilities and employees, but when referring to the company in business transactions and official contracts, they'll be the same. The pay schedules will sync as well, and so will their hire-fire process. And as long as Cromwell Enterprises agrees to supply a certain amount of their goods to H. Eckles Limited, Eckles will keep the money coming in. And they do it all in a civil business meeting, with executive board members and lawyers present.

"I never thought we'd be successful, but here we are," says Geoff that night as we get into bed. "Eckles as a person might not be great, but as a businessman, he doesn't miss a beat."

"That's good, Geoff, really good." I missed him as just my husband, not businessman or super. In the weeks leading up to the meeting, he'd hunkered down in his office when he was home, leaving me to try and entertain both our kids. I could hardly believe Ettie was turning four this year, almost ready for preschool. She needed it, though. The company of other kids would be good for her. "When are you making it public?"

"Probably in the next couple weeks." He climbs in and turns on his side to look at me, reaching over to rub my arm. "We're going to have a banquet and everything."

"Merger of the decade, huh?" I catch his hand and kiss his knuckles.

"Definitely." He leans over to kiss me, and I let him even though I can feel something wrong with this. But it sticks in the back of my brain and I can't quite get to it. That's what bothers me the most.

So that's why I find myself reaching out to the only one who might know what to do: Hank. He agrees to make the trip up on the same day I call him, and we arrange to meet downtown, at a diner I like. I give him the address and as soon as I'm off the phone, I go get ready to leave.

I recognize him the minute he walks in, and although I haven't seen him since before El's death, he's still a comfort because of his closeness with her. It almost feels like she's here again, through our memories. Our eyes meet at the same time, and he makes a beeline for my table. I stand up as he approaches, pulling him into a tight hug. He hugs me back, and for a while, it's all we can do.

"So it's been a while, hasn't it?" he says when we mutually let go and sit down. He seems much more thin and gaunt since I last saw him, and his battered canvas jacket is practically swallowing him.

"Yeah, it has," I say through a sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. "I'm glad you came, though...I wasn't sure who else to ask."

"Well, I'm glad you thought of me." A corner of his mouth turns up, just slightly. There's still a sadness in his eyes, and it makes my own chest hurt. I still miss El, with every day that goes by, and losing her so abruptly without even a chance to say goodbye is an ache that I can't soothe.

"You've heard about the merger, right?" I ask once we've ordered.

He nods. "So it's not a rumor, then."

"Nope. Everything you've heard is true."

He fiddles with the salt shaker for a second before speaking again. "What brought it on? I know Geoff was saying last time how he didn't trust Eckles."

I explain everything the way Geoff explained it to me, stopping midstream only once when our food comes. When I'm done, Hank's eyebrows go up and he whistles lowly.

"Wow. So doing the old yank-the-rug-out approach, huh?"

I take a deep breath and look down at my plate. It doesn't look terribly appetizing anymore, but a growl from my stomach makes me take a bite. I swallow before answering. "Geoff seems happy that it worked out."

Hank shrugs, picking up a fry and looking at it for a second before nibbling at it. "As long as he thinks things are going well."

I hesitate. Geoff seemed more occupied with his work than anything else these days, which meant he was more distracted. "Do you think Ridley's found out?"

"Likely," Hank says. "And if he doesn't, he will soon enough."

"True." I'm one step away from tracking Ridley down myself and forcing the answers out of him. I wish I could, too, if he wasn't so tricky. I don't have half the advantages he does. "So what'll we do?"

"Tell you what. I'll see what he's getting up to in the next couple weeks, and I'll let you know. He's got a lot of exposure now that he's running for office, so it's a lot easier to find him."

"Bet he wishes that wasn't true." I fiddle with my fork, but I no longer feel like eating. Talking about Ridley always made me lose my appetite.

"Yeah, really." Hank rubs his jaw, rough with stubble. He's a couple years younger than both Geoff and me, but somehow that makes him look much older. "Hey, so about that banquet you mentioned for the merger. Know any details yet?"

I shake my head. I'm not looking forward to it, to be perfectly honest. I don't like dressing up and trying to blend in with the wives of politicians, high-powered lawyers, and business magnates. They were all vapid and emotionally vacant. Not to mention horribly vain and cruel when they wanted to be, just like the girls back in high school. If they knew about my scars, I'd be ostracized forever.

"Look, Raina, I know things are hard right now." He takes my hand, next to my plate, and squeezes it gently. "Not just with Geoff and Ridley and everything, but El too. She was an important part of both of us, but now that she's gone, we've got to be an important part of each other."

"I know." I drop my eyes quickly, wiping at my tears. I've managed to stop crying every time I think of El, but sometimes, like now, it just sneaks up on me. "I always manage to forget it."

"Don't worry. Grieving always takes time." His eyes are shining too, when I meet them. I shouldn't have to feel the need to hide my tears from him. Old habits really do die hard.

"Thanks, Hank." I lay my hand over his.

≈

Two days before the banquet, I have to accept my fate and go get my hair and nails done. I hadn't done it for Matt and Tori's wedding, or even the last big event we attended, because it didn't seem important that time. But Geoff's mentioned multiple times that all the executives from both companies will be going, as well as the presidents and some trustees from his dad's days as the boss. As much as I hated admitting that Dad was right — I was still nobody from nowhere — I sure as hell wouldn't let him or Mom have the satisfaction of knowing how that comment got to me. And if it meant dressing up in nice clothes and wearing expensive jewelry and mingling with women I never wanted to be even in my worst nightmares, then I'd do it.

One day before, my dress comes. I'd made sure to pick something fitting for a wife who had plenty of her husband's money to burn. It's black with a white triangle across the front and down to the left hip, simple yet elegant as the description said. Daringly I'd opted for the asymmetrical option — it leaves one of my shoulders bare — and as I try it on, it seems to suit me just fine. I can't even see the scar on my sternum, the most recent of them all.

"Wow, look at you," says Geoff's voice from the doorway, making me spin around. He looks tired, and his hair's disheveled from running his fingers through it. But his eyes are shining with pride, and he's smiling at me. "You're beautiful."

I blush. "Geoff."

"What, so now I can't tell my wife she's beautiful?" He takes off his suit jacket and comes over to me, sliding his hands around my waist. "What kind of world is this?"

"No, it's not that, it's..." Purely on instinct I loop my arms around his neck, bringing us closer. "Do you ever get the feeling that there's something wrong but you can't place it?"

"Sometimes," he says, his brow furrowing. "Why?"

"I just..." I shake my head. "I have this feeling. Like something's off, but I don't know what it could be."

"Hey," he says when I look away. "I'm nervous too, okay? I keep thinking something's going to go wrong, or there's something that I missed. But don't worry. It'll all be fine."

I sigh and bite down on my bottom lip. "I hope you're right."

"It will. You'll see." He kisses my forehead and then releases me. "So I got you something. I was thinking you could wear it tomorrow night."

"What is it?" I let him go and step back as he picks up his suit jacket and takes out a long thin box.

"Have a look." He hands it to me.

I take it and open it, finding myself faced with a string of jewels the exact same colors as my eyes. The air leaves my lungs. All this time I'd been accusing Geoff of not paying attention, and then he goes and buys this.

"Geoff, I..." I can't even get a sentence out. It's beautiful, and the jewels even change color with the light.

"How about we see how it looks on you, huh?" He comes back over to me, lifting it out. I turn around and comb my hair out of the way as he settles it around my neck. It's cold against my skin at first, but as he finishes and smiles at me in the mirror, I stop thinking about it.

"Where did you find this?" I touch it, gingerly running my fingers over it. It's one of the nicest things I own.

"That is a secret." He winks at me and kisses my cheek, and I have no doubt he can feel the heat of my blush there. "The bigger question is if you like it."

"I do. I love it." I turn to him and kiss him gently, sliding my fingers into his hair.

He catches my waist and kisses me back, smiling against my lips.

"Mama?"

I pull away from Geoff and glance towards the doorway. Ettie's clinging to the doorjamb, head tilted sideways in that loose toddler way. She has a soulful, almost mournful expression in her eyes, and as I go over to her she blinks up at me.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" I ask as I pick her up, setting her on my hip. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Don't wanna nap," she answers, with a nod. "Not seepy."

"Well then, what do you want to do?" I carry her to the bed and set her down on it, and then move Geoff's suit jacket to sit next to her. Something falls out and hits the floor with a soft thud. Geoff and I see it at the same time, a small cassette tape in a plastic box. We both start forward, but I beat him there, scooping it up.

"Here, Raina, let me have that..." He reaches for it, but I close my fingers around it and back away.

"What is this, Geoff?"

"Raina—"

"What is it?" I hiss, tired of him keeping me so uninformed. "I'll only give it back if you tell me."

"It's the security footage from the day of the blast," he says, his shoulders dropping. "Hugo got it for me."

"What's on it?" I lower it to look at it, but it's not labeled anywhere.

Geoff sighs, running his hand over his hair. "With any luck, evidence."

≈

The venue for the banquet is even more impressive than I'd been expecting. It's in a beautiful old theater on the Upper West Side. All its seats have been taken out, and now the entire orchestra section is empty space. Where the stage used to be, a bar's been put in, the mirrors behind it reflecting the room and making it look even bigger. I crane my neck to look up at the ceiling, seeing it's painted with a swirling geometric pattern.

"Wow," I breathe as we're shown to our table. "This is amazing."

"Like it?" Geoff grins at me across the table. At first I'd been a little irked that he seemed amused by my wonderment over all this extravagance. But now I knew it wasn't that. He's just glad that he's been able to make me happier than I ever thought I could be.

"It's beautiful," I say. "How'd you find this place?"

"Some poking around." Geoff gives me a wink, and I feel my ears start to burn.

"Is this seat taken?" says a man's voice from next to me, before I can reply, tinged with a faint Southern accent.

I turn in surprise and come face-to-face with Howard Eckles. He looks pretty good for having been caught in a bomb blast five months ago, burn scars up and down the left side of his face and neck. But he's still got those bright blue eyes, the two-day-old beard, and that lopsided smile he got whenever he flirted with me. The one difference is that he's in a wheelchair, being pushed to the table by a uniformed waiter.

"Mr. Eckles." I give him one of my warmest smiles and stand up partway to give his undamaged cheek a kiss. "How nice to see you."

"Call me Howard." He folds my hand between his and kisses my knuckles. He's nothing like the man that pulled me into the alcove and took control of my emotions just by touching me. This one is different. More human somehow.

"Howard," I repeat, just as Geoff catches his attention and stands up, leaning across the table to shake his hand.

Three more pairs of guests join us after that: Cromwell Enterprises' chairman, H. Eckles's vice-president, and their CFO, all accompanied by their wives. I have to smile and put on my best face, although being seated next to Eckles seems to take some of the heat off. I notice him exchanging glances with Geoff, and it makes me wonder if they're expecting something to go wrong tonight.

It's on the way to the restroom to follow the other women's lead and powder my nose that it happens.

"Psst!" hisses a voice, so unexpected that at first I think I've imagined it. "Raina!"

I spin on my heel and spot Hank, in an oversized suit with a badge on the lapel lingering by what used to be the ticket window. He looks around and then motions me over.

"Hey," I say as I join him. "How'd you get in here?"

He holds out his badge: Security. "Listen, I think Ridley's planning on gatecrashing this event tonight. He's got a whole plan."

"A plan to gatecrash? I thought that was a spontaneous thing."

"Not just that." Hank tugs nervously at the knot in his tie. "He wants to make it look like he knows something about what's going on in this city, and wants to prove that he cares."

"What do you mean, Hank?" I shake my head, confused. I spot the other women heading back, and I know Geoff's going to come looking for me if I don't join them.

"I saw two suspicious-looking guys sneaking in the back before this started. They were hiding something under their coats. Just keep an eye on Geoff, okay? And Eckles too."

"Hank..." I start, but he's already hurrying towards the entrance, undoubtedly to change his disguise again and find out what's going on in the kitchen. "Hank!"

He doesn't stop. I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose tightly, squeezing my eyes shut. I would have appreciated just one night where we didn't have to worry about Ridley ruining it for us. But I know that's just not realistic.