I sat and watched Duma work on the set of rocks with his tools. Watching his thick fingers numbing dancing around his tools. Tapping and craving rune-like letters. Moving on to the next stone at a fast pace. His eyes focused and large as he focused on each tap he gave. I got tranced just watching him. It was like watching a dance. Each move was elegant and with purpose. Keeping within rhythm as the tempo of the tools stayed in the high energetic taps.

Finally, the dance slowed. The tapping came to halt once Duma let out a trapped breath. He twirled the metal tools one more time and put them down by his briefcase. Taking out a magnifying glass and studying the rocks closely. His lips tugged into a smile as he put down the magnifying glass. He looked up at me offering his hand.

"What wrist would you like this to be on, Miss Meril?" Duma asked.

I glanced down at my arms, comparing which one had the least burns.

I lifted my left arm, showing off a clearing of safe normal skin.

Duma nodded. "Very well."

Duma scooped the carved rocks into his hand and blew into it. The rocks started to glow a faint blue light. Faintly shaking as they floated up and towards me. The stones hovered around my left wrist. The blue light slowly died as they got closer to my skin.

"Binda." He whispered.

The rocks felt cool as their light suddenly got bright. A white thread weaving through the stones like a snake. The light finally dulled and vanished. Leaving behind a bracelet of pearl-like pebbles with red-stained runes carved into them. Each rock felt cold and warm with each touch. Cold enough to be cool. Warm enough to keep the numbness away.

"How's it feel?"

I looked back at Duma. A gentle patient smile waited behind a thick black and gray curtain of beard.

"Good." I nodded. "Is it gonna stop it completely?"

Duma's smile deflated a little. "It's your basic limiter. It'll stop your magic from flaring up under stress. But it won't completely seal it off. If you're under extreme emotional stress your magic will come out."

I tried to hide a little frown as I put down my wrist. Moving my fingers away from the bracelet.

"Everyone has had one. It is your basic tool when it comes to magic training. But yours a little stronger than the regular ones."

"Really?" I asked.

Duma found some air for his smile. Nodding gently. "Being a natural Pyomancer means you harbor a strong force of magic. And you need the right tools that will help you become the best magician for you."

Some part of me didn't want to admit it. But I felt some comfort in those words.

"So how long does it last?"

"About a couple of months." Duma sighed, closing his briefcase. "I'll make sure to come back when the enchantment wears off. Be sure to Ian if there's anything wrong with it. If it feels too hot or cold, magic isn't coming out, anything that's uncomfortable. I'll come back and make adjustments."

"Thank you." I nodded, the words feeling warm against my throat.

"You are very much welcome, Miss Meril," Duma said, his smile glowing. "Its what we're here for."

"How long have you known Ian?" I asked, the words blurting out before I could stop them.

Duma's smile cracked into a smirk from that. His brown eyes sparkled slightly as he got out of his chair.

"I've known him since college," Duma said. "Hasn't changed much since then. Smart man. Means well. He knows what it's like. He understands more than most truthfully."

There's colleges for magic? Those have to be hella expensive.

I felt an urge to press but I stopped once Ian walked over to the table. Crossing through the living room after he entered the front door.

"Hey, guys!" Ian waved, rapping his knuckles on the table. "How'd it go?"

"Good," Duma answered. Hopping off the chair with his briefcase. "The limiters set well and there's no discomfort. Is there?"

I shook my head. "No. It feels pretty nice."

Ian flashed a smile. "Great! What kind of limiter did you use, Duma? Saxon?"

Duma laughed. "If I told you I'd be out of a job, Ian."

"Ah, come on. You know I'm not the best at rune carvings."

Duma waved at me before turning to the kitchen. "Take it easy on yourself, Miss Meril."

"Bye, Duma." I waved, watching hobble out of the room.

Ian glanced down at me. His smile minimized slightly. "Feeling better?"

That's a loaded question. One slip and it could spiral and shatter into thousands of dark holes that's inside of me. My fingers ran through the new bracelet. Letting the hot and cool buzz from the rocks linger on the tip of my fingers.

"A little bit," I muttered. "Thanks."

Ian nodded. My throat spasmed in sheer panic. A cold wash of sweat draped over the back of my neck. Something wrangled my stomach into a small ball. Words started to dance on the tip of my tongue. My teeth clamping down trying to catch my dancing tongue. To keep it from spilling over. Slice it and swell from pronouncing anything correctly. But it managed to throw the words out there.

"Can I try using magic with this?"

Ian's eyebrow raised a little from my question. My skin shuddered away from me. Screeding hot drops of sweat as it tried to melt off my bones. Sections of my stomach shriveled and died. My face kept a neutral smile as I swallowed down the pain.

"Um, sure." Ian shrugged. "We can go to a practice room. Are you sure you're up for it?"

No! Voices screamed into my chest.

I nodded, pinching my legs to stand up. "Yeah. I just wanna see something."

Ian's white eyes stared down at me. The gaze going through me and the pain under my skin. The white iris around his eyes never felt cold like Nikki's. His eyes seemed warm and affable. Yet I couldn't help to feel there was something hidden behind those snow blanket eyes.

"Okay." he nodded. "Let's go."

I followed Ian out and into the small hallway. I glanced back into the living room to see if Nikki was there. She sat at the couch nodding at me with a small smile. No judgment. No venom. Just support.

That is what support looks right, right?

Ian knocked a few of the doors, getting an "Occupied" in response. Finally, we got silence from a door at the end of the left side. Ian glanced back at me and gave me a thumbs up. I fixed my smile back up. My cheeks stabbing my face with rusty nails in response.

Ian opened the door and inside was like the last room. An open concrete room with slight dents and a small desk with books and bottles. Thankfully there wasn't a hanging smell of smoke and smog hanging in the air. At least that wouldn't contribute to me vomiting today.

Parts of my ankle started to shake as I stepped into the room. Vibrating as if they were trying to force themselves to break. But I kept walking.

I just had to see.

Ian walked over to the desk and pulled on one of the drawers. "Did you want a wand?"

"No." I shook my head. "I'll be fine."

Ian gave me a soft look over his shoulder. The mask was getting harder to hold up. My insides turned my blood to nails. Raking the insides of my veins in the horror of my choices.

He let out a sigh and nodded. "Alright. So, remember to breathe."

I nodded, taking in a deep breath. Brushing off the ashes that rested on my lungs. I lifted my hand, the numbness biting the tip of my fingers. The rest of my palm began to quake. Unseen bricks trying to sink it to darkness. Muscles in my biceps flexed to help support and keep it up. The taste of sweat dripping into my mouth. Waves of adrenaline bursting into my neck. The stabbing in my veins digging into my bones. Faint voices of screams curling at the end of my ears.

Ian guided a wand into my hand. The cool metal surface snapping the shakes away. My blood and bones settled down. The voices were hushed for now. I glanced up at him and he made a gentle face.

"It's best to start with using a wand," Ian said. "They're like a funnel. Keeps it focused. Everyone used them when they started using magic.

"Right." I swallowed. "Thanks."

Ian gave a thumbs up and took a couple of steps back. Breathe in. Breathe out. Think of fire as snowflakes just like before.

The build surged and snaked its way around my hand. Thudding my grip with some kind of pulse. The metal surface grew slightly warm as a cold sensation wrapped around my wrist. My eyes shot down to my bracelet. The rocks and runes glowed with a faint white and red light. The gentle cold blanketing the burning sensation underneath my skin. Any heat that flashed against my cheeks only turned to a slight warmness.

My breath felt steady for the first time. Everything felt calm. Well, time to see if it can actually work.

Small white embers danced out front the tip of the wand. Floating around the air like snow from before. The room slowly turned into the inside of a snow globe. The gentle ember flakes swirled and danced around the air. Gracefully and beautiful. Coming into existence for only a matter of seconds then faded away.

They look beautiful. There were no thoughts. No ghosts. No boiling heat eating away at me. Just the beautiful snow fire.

Just the silent tears running down my cheeks. Running over like a flooded lake. My throat giving up and letting the knotted ball come out of my mouth. Little sobs hitting the concrete walls of the practice room.

Just me. Experiencing hope for the first time in my life.