you keep me alive,
on the edge of tonight
chasing tomorrow,
with fire in my eyes.
. -Edge of tonight, All time low.
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"Are you sure about this Mia, I know it's too late to back off now but are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive. Look, I know you guys want me to stay but I really have to go. This is what I want dad okay?"

"I know I'm sorry. It'll just feel weird not having around anymore you know."

"I know, I know." I said hugging him real tight. Ah, I'm going to miss this. A lot.

I stood up and wiped the sweat off my face. I'm finally done with all the packing.

I wish I could take everything, but I know I won't have enough room for it all.

I turn my head towards to clock to see the time. The sound of ticking echoing across the room mostly empty, silent room.

I walked into the bathroom to take a hot shower. It's only 7, I still have plenty of time.

I tossed and turned all night last night, unable to get any sleep. Was I nervous or excited? I couldn't tell. Maybe both. I tried to sleep but I gave up and instead decided to pack a little bit and make sure all the things I needed were set.

The hot shower calmed my nerves down to an extent.

I got ready and went down stairs and made myself some coffee and toast. I made some for my parents who were probably getting ready for work. They insisted on staying home today, but I practically forced them to go. It's not that big a deal, we'll be leaving only in the night anyway.

I picked up my phone and keys told my parents that I was going out for a walk and left.

I walked and walked till I was at Ben's place. I rang the doorbell and Jessica opened and welcomed me in.

She offered coffee and some breakfast, but I told her that I was already done with breakfast.

We sat on her breakfast bar, just talking. She was effectively avoiding the topic of me going away. Sigh.

"Ma.. You know I'm leaving today right?"

"Umm... Yeah, of course I do hun, I'm really going to miss you and it hasn't quite sunk in yet." She replied reticently.

"What is it?... tell me?" I asked, frowning.

"It's just that, I'm kinda glad that you're leaving honey. I know I shouldn't feel like that, but I just feel like this will be the best thing for you and I really hope the best for you. Take care okay. I know everything has been so hard on you lately. It was all as painful for you as it was for me. I know it's not going to be easily but be strong, try and make some friends, and don't you ever feel guilty for moving on or being happy. I know you well enough to know you will. Just remember that Ben would've wanted you to move on and be happy. Don't be scared, just remember that he's always with you and just think of him when you're feeling down. It'll get better. I know it will. Also call me as often as you can okay? I'll be looking forward to it.

"Oh mom..." My voice quivering as I speak. I don't even try to fight the tears as the flow down my face and instantly embrace her. She hugs me back, patting my back, calmly, clearly holding back tears of her own.

I'm going to miss her and David and my mom and dad, and oh my god Ben's friends! Shit I forgot to tell them. They have no idea.

I hug her goodbye once again and assure her I'll call just before I leave and as soon as I land. Good knows when I'll see her after today.

I walk down the street to the open field that Ben and his friends always played in so hopefully they'll be here now. Well it is about 9 o' clock now, I'm not too early.

I feel myself smile as I hear the noise coming from the field. Not wanting to interrupt their game I walk down to corner of the field and sit myself down on the muddy field.

They were too into the game to notice me.

Eventually they took a break to take some rest, drink water...

Okay I guess this is my queue.

"Caleb..." I screamed, although I doubt whether I was audible enough. Just as I was about to scream again, his head whipped to where I was sitting.

"Amelia, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you here in ages. How have you been? Had me worried." He said walking towards me with his usual warm smile.
"I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in ages. Been very busy actually. Okay so I have something really important to tell you guys."

"Guys, look who's here. C'mon here, she has an announcement."

They all came running towards me cheering, we did our usual fist bumps, high fives, some of us hugged and after all that it was finally announcement time.

"Okay so I have really important news. Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry I should've told you sooner."Okay, hmm...so basically-" 
"Tell us already. Growing old here."
I rolled my eyes at the impatient idiot.

"Tsk tsk, Patience is virtue little Danny. Okay so school's ended over a month ago, and holidays are almost over too. I had applied for college and I got in, psych course."

"That's amazing Mia, congrats." Jamie a.k.a the most chill person I know, said.

"Yeah thanks but that's not the news. I actually got in to German state university. I'm moving to Germany." 

"WHAT THE FUCK."

•••

I guess the guys were kinda pissed off. Haha. Fine they were really pissed. But they understood completely when explained why I needed to get away. Why I needed a new start and how studying there will be beneficial for me. I really needed this. They were all very supportive and yeah well they managed to make me cry. I promised them that I'll call every now and then.

It was around 3 in the afternoon and I was really hungry. After bombarding the fridge, I found left over pizza from yesterday. Ah thank you Lord! I immediately grabbed it and run up to my room and switched on my laptop and clicked on the YouTube icon on my favourites bar.

After watching a couple of Troye Sivan videos, I somehow ended up watching the Germany vs Brazil match, World Cup semi finals. I guess I was in the mood to cry then.

After watching the painful match, I decided to take a short nap.

•••

I was now running around my room pushing things over, stumbling around trying to put on my socks. Oh shit. I still have to pack my chargers and where the hell is my pullover, oh my god I'm going to die.

Remember I decided to take a short nap? Well the nap wasn't really as short as I'd wanted it to be.

I had exactly 3 hours before my flight and yeah I'm screwed. I stuffed all the last minute stuff into my backpack and ran out of the house where my parents were waiting for me, my mom sending me an exasperated look. Well should've woken me up huh mommy?

I quickly stuffed all my luggage into the back of the car and hopped in. Literally.

We made it to the airport about 45 mins later and we were currently running like we were being chased by a stampede.

"This is the final call for all passengers who are going to fly via the British airlines 0224 from London to Germany. Scheduled to depart at 10pm as per plan..."

We were relieved to hear that we still had time but we didn't slow down. We ran to the counters and checked in our language, and went through security check and immigration and one by one went through all the procedures.

Before boarding, I sent a quick text to mom and dad (Jessica and David) and to Caleb and some of the other guys telling them that I was about to leave. Leave for good.

My parents were coming along with me to get me settled in and to check if everything was set. I told them that I'd be fine and I could manage, but they insisted on coming. I didn't push it any further.

Probably sensing my anxiety my mom held my hand as we started boarding the plane.

Here I come Germany! Wish me luck Ben...

_______________________________

Hey guys. It's me. Yes I'm alive.

I know I haven't updated, but I'm in 10th grade and it's pretty hectic actually. Lots to do. I'm sorry. School's almost over. Exams start in about a week though. They end on 19th so I'll try to be regular after that.

Also Amelia was supposed to go to Wisconsin, but I changed it to Germany.

Thank you for reading. Please give me opinions and maybe some reassurance you know, that this story is worth continuing.

If you've read upto here, I love you💕💕 thank you.

Smruthi✖️