Yet my peace was a temporary thing. Walking away from the door and towards my bed, I barely had time to sit down when suddenly a knock sounded. With furrowed brows, I tried to ignore it, knowing only Ollie and Ben were here—and I didn't want to talk to either.

But whomever was on the other side wasn't having it. The door opened, and in walked the curly haired blue-eyed boy.

"You could have at least responded," he whined as I glared at him.

"I don't want to talk to you," I said, choosing to avoid the fact I couldn't hear whatever he said on the other side.

He sighed at me like I was the dramatic one, then closed the door behind him before walking across the room and sitting on my bed.

"Get out," I grumbled, chucking one of my pillows at him.

Ben's brows furrowed impossibly further as he caught the pillow, gently resting it on the bed. "We need to talk."

"You need to talk to your partner if you wish to change her mind, not m—"

"It's not about the decision... I accept it. I don't like it, but... You're both right. I need to support her."

"Well..." he had taken me by surprise, so I didn't have an amazing comeback. Which meant what I ended up saying was, "Good. Now get out."

But Ben just sighed and scooted over on the bed until he was beside me, legs propped up, back resting against the headboard.

An immeasurable amount of time passed before he said anything. I, with crossed arms, continued to pout at the wall, wondering at what point he was going to rub in that he still gets to keep Ollie. Meanwhile Ben's gaze was fixated on the ceiling, doing its usual thing as he searched for the cracks.

"When did we stop being friends, Lukas?" he finally whispered.

"We never..." I started, but trailed off. Because he was right. We did stop being friends. But when? Was it when he took Ollie from me? Before? "I don't know," I confessed. "But... were we ever really friends?"

"I'd like to think so," Ben said, though his tone was far from wistful—full of remorse as a result of my confession.

Slowly, I turned to look at him while he kept staring up. "You always have and always will be a brother to me. Ever since we met, I was sure of that." Because I promised Stephen.

Finally, Ben turned his gaze down, waves of blue crashing into me as he said, "But I've never seen you that way."

In the past, before Ollie, this phrase would have seen his eyes mull with morose and longing. But instead, he seemed almost bittersweet... nostalgic. Like the feelings he had for me before—the romantic ones—were far gone.

But that was evident.

One look at him and the way he stared at Ollie like she was the epitome of his dreams was enough to know only she consumed his heart these days.

"Thanks," I grumbled, looking away from him. "Maybe that's our problem though."

"Perhaps," he mumbled. "Or perhaps there are other things going on..."

He didn't add to his abstract statement straight away, but I didn't feel like commenting on it. Instead I asked, "Why are you here, Ben?"

"Ollie demanded I make up with you."

"Oh, and now you do as she says?"

He shrugged. "She's not wrong."

"But she was wrong before?"

Ben sighed. "She was never wrong... I'm just scared. But we can work on that."

"Oh-kay... How?"

"By training her. So that she can defend herself." He nodded, like he was still trying to convince himself. But then he turned to me. "Obviously everyone is going to have to help her figure out her magic considering we know nothing about Terra Fairies. But when it comes to combat... will you train her, Lukas?" His eyes glossed with worry, but, at that point, I assumed it was because he was concerned about her safety.

"Why me?" I whispered.

"Because if anyone knows how to fight your uncle the best, it would be you. You're the one who has dealt with him before. You're the strongest vampire out of all of us. So if you're who she has to practise on and who can train her..."

Snagging my lip between my teeth, I looked away. "I can but... it will have to wait. And someone else should train her in the meantime."

"What? Wait? Why?"

"I'm... I will be going to Germany for a while when we get back. To scope out the place."

"That will take a couple days at most."

"I'll probably be gone for some months."

Ben didn't say anything back. So after some minutes ticked on and his silence began to niggle at me, I slowly turned my head, taking him in once more.

Brows furrowed, eyes focussed at the wall ahead, he seemed to be deeply lost in thought.

"I'd like... I'd like to consider you my brother going forward, Lukas..." he finally uttered after feeling my gaze. "I know the reason I haven't before is my fault. Because I stupidly idolised you as the first person to befriend me. But it was hard to not love you... There's so much about you to love." Glancing at me briefly, his blue eyes swelled with a wistful affection, but the romantic love was long gone from him.

"You barely know me, Ben," I breathed.

"I want to know you. I want to be someone you can rely on. Who you can talk to about anything."

I shook my head and looked away, my heart at odds between giving in and hating him. "From death threats one day to this?" I said in disbelief.

"I'm sorry... It's just..." Ben heaved a sigh. "I have been letting my jealousy get the better of me, okay?"

"Jealousy?"

But Ben didn't meet my gaze as I looked at him. Instead, he took a deep breath and closed his eyelids over the wall of blue. "Lukas... What you said earlier... I need you to explain."

"What I said when?"

Ben pressed his lips together before he said, "You said you care about Olivia as much as me... if not more. How?"

My heart began to thud in my chest as his words entered my ears.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and turned to look at me, face falling as I knew he heard the drumming echoing around the room.

"Do you..." Ben breathed, not finishing the sentence though.

So I did all I could. I gave him a curt nod and closed my eyes, consuming myself with his despair loudly projected through his own heart rapidly weeping through the room.

"You..." he then whispered after a few deep breaths and some calming of his nerves, "You barely know her."

Lifting my head, I turned and met his gaze.

Fear of what I was about to say—like he almost expected it—radiated from his stare.

"I know her pretty well, Ben," I said back.

But he didn't flinch in shock. He just crumbled like he had finally heard what he had been assuming... but how could he even know? "The human?" Ben then asked, staring at his lap and avoiding my eyes now studying him.

"Yes..." I mumbled, wondering how he had put it together so quickly.

"What... how..." But he never quite figured out what exactly he wanted to ask.

So I decided to explain... as much as I thought he could handle without breaking him. Because Ben deserved answers. He deserved to understand why I was acting the way I was... but he didn't need to know too much about what Ollie and I had. What we had—our beautiful moment of bliss—would never return. So most of it was best left buried in the depths of my heart, never to be repeated again. "Olivia was in my English classes I was studying," I said. "We... were friends. We got close a couple of times, but... I freaked out and gave her memory wiping potions."

He shook his head, finally glancing up at me, brows knotting together. "That doesn't make sense," he said. "She would remember you from classes. And no potion is strong enough to wipe six months while still keeping other memories intact. Are you saying she's been lying—"

Biting my lip, I realised my attempt to lie was useless. Heaving a sigh, I then confessed, "You're right. There was no potion, Ben. It was me."

He hesitated. "You? As in—"

"I can do mind magic."

We stared at each other, the emotions swirling in his eyes indistinguishable, our hearts' beats resounding in loud thuds around the room.

"So..." he finally breathed, "You liked her and never confessed?" He was choosing to ignore the newly learned information of my magic it seemed.

I didn't say anything back, trying to quickly think of my story I could tell him.

But before I could flesh it out further, his eyebrows knotted together and he shook his head. "Wait... if you met her before, how come you never mentioned you met someone who gives static zaps? How come you didn't say you knew someone who may be a fairy? Were you trying to protect—"

"I didn't know," I breathed, unable to hold his stare any longer. Unsure how to flesh out my lie. There were too many gaps in the one I was already crafting that he had caught onto. And with his continuous probing questions, I didn't have enough time to fully think it out.

"You didn't... Surely you had touched her before in those six months? A bump of the hand?"

Pressing my lips together, I knew my face said it all.

Because he said, "Then how did you not know?"

"She... never zapped me," I confessed, giving him the bare minimum, leaving it for him to assume what he needed to. I didn't want to give him too much. Because too much might break him. So I would only let him take the answers he could handle.

"Olivia can't turn it off," he mumbled, clearly stating the obvious. Then his eyes grew wide as realisation set in and his head cocked to the side, heart pounding in his chest. "But how do you still like her if... That's impossible. You can't have two... Invitations can't be one-sided..."

I closed my eyes, unable to handle seeing more of his fluster, of his defeat. Once he finally fell quiet, I let some moments pass as I thought through my phrasing, running the sentences I wanted to say through my head before I voiced them. Because, ultimately, I could tell him some things. Evidently he wanted to protect Ollie. But I still didn't fully trust him. Not that he'd ever let her get in harm's way, but... "Apparently," I breathed, "When you wipe someone's memory of an invitation, it still lingers on the side that remembers it."

"I don't... I don't understand," Ben said, betrayal oozing from his gaze as I finally looked at him to see the damage my confession had done.

I could never tell him that it was more than an invitation. He wouldn't be able to handle that. So I said, "I wiped her memory the day before I moved back in. But you brought her back into our lives too quickly... so the invitation never broke."

He fell quiet, thinking it over for moments on end. "So that's... that's why you haven't gotten over her? Because of the lingering connection?"

Pressing my lips together, I gave him a curt nod, still not meeting his penetrating stare that studied every reaction of mine.

"When... when did the invitation start? How... you and Erica never—"

"The very first day I met her," I whispered, finally turning to meet his falling blue eyes. "I cheesily fell for her at first sight."

What Ben broke over in front of me I wasn't sure. But his eyes started to glisten. His brows drew together. And his bottom lip jutted out before he said, "But... she's with me."

"I know."

"I..."

"I'm not asking you to give her up, Ben."

He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out. Then he turned his head away just as a tear escaped his eyes.

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt—"

"But you should have... Because how am I supposed to live with myself knowing..." He shook his head. "You never opened up to Erica, but... straight away with her?"

"Look... at first I didn't tell you because I knew you liked me. And then... when you said you had met someone and had a bond invitation... never in my wildest dreams did I think it was her. You met her at a different library... So I pushed you with whomever it was, not knowing. And when you brought her home and I knew it was my Ollie..."

He winced at my declaration but I didn't apologise. I couldn't. Nevertheless, he didn't add anything, so I went on.

"But at that point, I figured things had gone too far to intervene," I finished. Never would I tell him the things I had done to get in the way though... Ben would never forgive me for that.

"I want," Ben croaked, voice definitely hoarse now, "I want you to be happy Lukas... But I don't want to let her go."

Face softening but heart shattering as I knew what I had to say, I placed a hand on Ben's knee and said, "You two are bonded. And once we are back in London, I'm going to go away until the invitation is gone."

Realisation now setting in, Ben's watery stare lifted to me against, brows coming together once more. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

But I just shook my head. "You didn't know. And I let her go. So I pay the costs." I wondered if he heard my voice break at the end, even though I tried to be strong. As my eyes began to sting, I took steady breaths to the calm the shaking sensation stirring inside me.

"I want to ask why her... But I already know the answer to that. Because what's not to love," Ben whispered, gaze dropping and corners of his lips turning up.

"She saved me," I whispered. "I opened up about everything to her and she accepted every part of me, which is why her."

"What did she do differently than Erica though? Because Erica tried—"

I shook my head. "There's nothing either could have done to change what happened. I looked into Olivia's eyes on the first day of class and was gone."

His face fell again and the waters began to well.

"Don't," I whispered. "I'm not going to—"

"I don't want to hurt you, Lukas. I—"

I shook my head. "What's done is done."

"But... why did you let her go?"

Pressing my lips together to keep them from quivering, I said, "To protect her from my uncle. In case he... tried to use my weakness against me."

"But now you want to—"

"I didn't know what she was. I thought she had trace amounts of witch and was more than weak. So I figured if I wiped her memory of me, of us, she could never be harmed. Knowing she's actually a creature designed to take vampires out though... that's a different story."

Ben hesitated.

"What?"

"Were you... going to get her back? After your uncle was gone?"

I didn't respond.

"You were?"

"What's done is done."

"Lukas—"

"She's with you. She loves you. And this is what I get."

Ben pressed his lips together, more worry swirling in his gaze. I could already tell there were more questions brewing under the surface that meant he wouldn't rest until he had answers.

"What else?" I whispered.

"Did she... know?"

"Know what?"

"Everything..."

Heaving a sigh, I finally removed my hand from Ben's knee and turned my gaze back to the ceiling. "She knew every single thing about me. Every torture my uncle did. What I am. That I could wipe memories. She knew about you. Your feelings for me. I let her read every single magical book in my collection after I told her... And that included mentioning our bond invitation."

He took steady breaths as he processed the information, falling silent for endless beats of my heart. Then finally he whispered some of his deepest jealous fears, "Did you ever kiss?"

I paused, ever so briefly, to weigh up the options of what I should say here... Because there was no point telling him how deep it went. Ollie and I would never get back what we had. Telling Ben what I had already was breaking him. If he knew the intimacy we shared... "Never on the mouth."

"Duh," he whispered. "Otherwise you'd have bonded..." But then it sank in what I said. "Did you..." he then uttered under his breath. "Did you ever have sex?"

Inhaling one long deep breath and letting it out so that my heart stayed steady, I lied, "Of course not. Without kissing? Without bonding? And... You know what she's like."

He turned to look at me.

"Her past with Jacob is a lot to overcome."

He seemed to sigh in relief for a plethora of reasons—because he thought we hadn't been together like that; because maybe he had assumed Ollie was holding back for other reasons, such as her connection to me; and who knows what else.

But then the sorrow clouded his gaze once more. "She told you about him?"

"We were best friends, Ben."

"But not... lovers."

Pressing my lips together, I said, "We never labelled it."

Nodding, he turned to look at his lap as he wept his final worry, "Did she love you too?"

"You don't want to know that."

But of course, that answer said everything he needed to know.

Ben didn't press further.

He just nodded his head like he understood.

Then time just ticked on.

Almost half an hour passed with us sitting on my bed, staring at the walls, at the ceiling, sitting in each others' presence.

"Don't go when we get back," Ben suddenly said, disturbing the silence.

"What?" I asked.

"Keep the invitation. Just until... until your uncle is gone."

"Why?" I studied his face, wondering what on earth would possess him to make such a request. Though I didn't have to wait long.

"You have an instinct to protect her with your life because of the love that lingers. And if that instinct will help me keep her alive while she stupidly—. Please don't tell her I used that word. While she chases this dream of taking out your uncle... Well, two of us are better than one."

"I don't need an invitation to want to protect her, Ben," I whispered.

Yet he shrugged. "I need you to keep it. That way I know she will definitely be safe." He finally met my eyes. "We will keep her safe."

I gave him a small nod and broke the eye contact first.

"I'm sorry," Ben whispered, "For making such a request. I understand it hurts..."

I shrugged. "Doesn't it worry you? Because it means something lingers in her..."

"As you said... She's bonded to me. So as long as you understand she's my partner and that you're just friends..."

"I'm not going to make her cheat on you, Ben. She'd fucking zap me anyway," I then laughed.

And finally, the corners of Ben's mouth turned up, some light drifting back in. "Damn right she will. But if you ever kiss her, know that I will kill you."

Rolling my eyes, I replied, "If she doesn't kill me first."

Ben sat up, throwing his legs off the bed as if he were ready to leave. But then he hesitated. "Lukas," he breathed.

"Yeah?"

"Are you... going to tell her one day?"

"About... us?"

He nodded, evidently avoiding my eyes at this point.

I thought about it for a moment on what the point would be. If I did ever tell Ollie, then the truth would get out that we were more than what I told Ben. Which would cause strife. And if I did tell Ollie or even gave her back her memories... then she'd be torn between the her who was with me and the one with Ben, only confusing the both of them further. "No. I think it's best we leave it in the past."

He craned his neck, looking at me with pursed lips. "Are you sure? Because I don't plan to ever let you have her, but if you need your truth—"

I shook my head, silencing him. "Keep this a secret from her, Ben. She doesn't need to know. It will only confuse her. She's got enough on her plate."

So Ben gave me a small nod before getting to his feet and walking out of my room.