Just watched something which struck a cord with me. I cannot even begin to explain how upset I am. As I write this piece I am having difficulty to breathe, my cheeks are wet and it's almost impossible to swallow. You may or may not believe it but the truth is that it hurts.

My heart aches.

It pains me physically.

Deep rooted, raw, unbearable pain.

My head spins, the only thought which keeps running in my mind again and again is 'why?'

Why do you do it? Why make things so complex? Why deny us our rights? Why discard our feelings like garbage?

We've got our own voices, we have emotions and feelings too. We too have dreams and expectations within us. We are humans too.

If you know it all, then still, why?

It's been a while since I've started struggling to lean on to what Islam teaches. It's been a while since I've started struggling to move away from all Indian beliefs and practices which make no sense in Islam and believe me when I say it's not easy. It never is. My family thinks I'm a nutcase! My extended family doesn't know when to give me some space, when to back off. When I stand up for what I believe in, most times my opinions are discarded. It exists in books, they also listen when I speak, I'm heard but when it comes to the practicing part, my rights in Islam aren't even recognised.

It doesn't mean that I'm being a slave over here. No, that isn't the case. The very fact that I am writing on my phone in English and in an account I've owned for more than two years now shows you I've been granted my rights as an Indian. As an Indian woman.

But what about the rights Islam grants me with? What about my rights as a Muslimah?

What about the things I'm denied being an Indian?

What about tens of other things Islam grants women but India does not?

What about the opinion never asked from us before fixing our future that spans ahead? What about that?

I cannot find an answer. No one can provide me with one. When I'd try to raise my voice to find an answer, instead of giving me what I want, I'd be hushed.

People when it comes to this matter prefer being Indians and not Muslims. It's a shame!

Metaphorically speaking, I was almost thrown under a running car once. Almost. Owing to it, my ties with my Lord weakened at the time. I was close to losing my hope in Him. I almost moved away but then, I was quick to note my mistake and rectify it. Alhamdulillah! I begged and pleaded with Him and He helped me. He did Alhamdulillah and if He hadn't helped me out then, you wouldn't find me here still writing on wattpad. I would have left everything including my account to rot. I would have retreated into a shell. Lost my happiness, forgotten how to smile.

Alhamdulillah that He helped me out.

But I'm not alone in this. There are so many Indian women suffering from even more horrible situations. My story was nothing when compared to theirs. Worse things happen to them. They are married off against their wish to very very old men; married off to people with no moral values; married off to addicts; married off to their rapists. Married off to people they would not have even thought about spending their lives with. I just saw a case where a seventeen year old girl was killed by her own father because she refused to go back to her fifty year old husband's house after he molested her for a week. She hadn't even known who she was going to be married to until she saw him at the wedding!

It's so saddening! You would not understand what they go through until you're in their shoes. Na'udubillah.

You would not understand how horrible it is to be bound to someone you cannot even stand the sight of. You wouldn't understand...

How could you when you romanticize with the idea of being married to badboys and billionaires? Yep, that's an open jab!

Do you know how many times I lose my calm when wattpad suggests me books of that sort? I have half the mind to report wattpad itself! I have half the mind to report those horrible books that often adorn the hotlist and make those writers lose their work! Those people who call themselves authors are nothing but a disgrace!

They have no sense as to what they are doing. They have no idea what big mistake they are doing by writing such things and misleading you all. It is horrible! Utterly utterly horrible to be married off to some billionaire bloke or a badboy who treats you like crap!

It is painful to be treated like a nobody, like you have no worth and as a commodity to be bought and sold! Remember that! And trust me, when it comes to the point of finding a spouse, you'd be wanting someone who has the same level of imaan as yours if not more. You'd want someone who will help you out in little things, who will make you strong, not weak. You'd want someone who could be your friend, not your enemy.

You wouldn't be wanting someone who yells at you, hits you, makes you do all the work and treats you like a maid! You wouldn't be wanting someone who makes your life difficult by being unreasonably possessive. You wouldn't be wanting someone who claims you 'mine' and keeps pushing you to the wall. You aren't a toy to belong to him, get that straight. You are a human being. You have some self respect. You have dignity. You aren't his! You are His (swt) slave!

There could be nothing more pleasant than being with a human who pushes you into seeking Jannah! There could be nothing more pleasant than being with a human being who doesn't become a hindrance between you and your Lord! That is true happiness! Not being married to the richest of the richest! What would you do with all that wealth I'd like to know. Would you string all the notes you have and wear it to your grave? Or would you pack up all your jewelry and leave a note for them to be buried next to you like a pharoah?

The poor would be reaching Jannah 500 years before the rich. For just temporary pleasure on earth, are you going to stand for 500 extra years with the sun just an arm's length away? Think. It's high time you reflect.

There are two more things I'd like for you to know.

1. You wouldn't be randomly bumping into hot billionaires on the street or an alleyway. First of all, most billionaires are balding, developing a paunch and secondly, they never walk! They are driven by their chauffeurs always.

2. You cannot change a badboy into a good guy. It's impossible! I know I'm breaking your bubble but that is the plain truth. Stop supporting authors when they push a badboy towards a good girl. That's the worst thing that could be done to the girl. She deserves a good guy, not someone who's screwed in the head. I've known people in real life who got hurt this way! Badboys cannot change for a girl!

Don't set your bars so high that practicing guys don't even want to consider you. Think twice, for looks can fade, job lost, money spent but deen - that remains!

Set your priorities straight, stop fantasizing, start praying, choose wisely and stand up for your rights. We aren't like the video games that have three lives. We have just one - live it wisely. Live it properly. You'd be accounted for it. Keep that in mind.

*****

Tag your friends here so they'd know what to do and what not to. Insha'Allah it will be sadaqa-e-jariya for you too! Help me in this good work.