Mandatory to have read the previous update. You wouldn't understand this if not.

*****

I think my distaste about people shipping themselves off to some other land and becoming NRIs was evident in my previous update. No matter how much I'd hide, that is something I do not like. I do not intend to become one among them come what may. I would like to stay in my own land, my place. Of course trips to other places can be considered, would be loved but at the end, I'd want to come back home. Not stay away. That is how I am.

I do not know when exactly my aversion became strong but I recollect during my ninth grade, a debate was supposed to be conducted at school over the topic 'brain drain'. I'm not aware what exactly the teacher wanted but instead of letting me participate like the others, she made me listen to them and judge the debate. Even though I couldn't participate, even though I was put off by the fact that I couldn't participate, I still looked it up half-heartedly so I could pass a proper verdict. That was when I found out so much stuff, learnt so many things that my views on people settling abroad changed completely. I try to change people's viewpoint too but there is this issue though. Somehow Indian parents consider NRIs a perfect match (or a catch) for their daughters. They think that their daughters can thrive in a foreign land but will shrivel in their own.

Sometimes their shallow thinking leaves me wondering about so many things. At times they leave me pitying them too for there are so many things which need to be changed.

For instance, most Indian parents do not like to discuss their daughter's marriage with her until they've found the supposedly Prince charming and even then, the girl only get to say yes or no. It is a privilege to even be able to deny a match you do not like since in most cases a guy of your parent's choice is forced upon you. Also, growing up, marriage is considered to be a taboo topic of discussion for girls in most traditional Indian households. You aren't even supposed to utter the word 'marriage' in front of elders until you come of age. And if by chance, by mistake you speak about it or anything else affiliated with it, you'd be shot a reprimanding glare so intense you'd shrink with fear and want the ground beneath you to open up and swallow you.

It's the truth with zero exaggeration!

Such people are the ones who confuse between culture and religion. They forget that forced marriages aren't allowed. They forget that they can recommend a guy to their daughter but cannot force her to accept. These people are often keen about the community and the background of the guy and forget about the deen aspect. They irk me to no end.

Khair, there's no use lamenting, may Allah grant Hidayah to all of them.

There are people who go by Sunnah, there are people who have no idea what to practice and there are also people who fall in between these two categories. In India, you'd find many belonging to the second category.

Coming back to the topic at hand, I know humans are granted the ability to adapt according to situations but one thing I cannot understand is how NRIs tolerate cold climate. India does have a pleasant tropical climate and how Indians bred in such a country survive in freezing winters will always remain a mystery to me.

Being brought up in a tropical country, I for one, cannot bear the rainy season. Don't get me wrong, I love rain but India does not have marked winter in most parts of it. Usually cold climate accompanies the rain and while I await the rain with goosebumps and eagerness, my teeth chatters due to the cold. I cannot bear the cold. I simply cannot. I even dread my people using air conditioning when the weather is reasonably warm. I am a tropical girl with the ability to survive only in tropical climate. Unfortunately for me, my family cannot sleep without the air conditioning switched on and I cannot sleep peacefully having it switched on. Talk about contrast!

I'm always searching for quilts or stealing the remote to switch off the conditioning. One night I remember grabbing two quilts unable to keep up with the cold. As I unfolded them preparing to sleep, mum shook her head at me. "What will you do if you go abroad?", she asked me.

I looked at her in the eye. "Why should I?"

Back then, the subject of marriage wasn't broached at home. In actuality it wasn't even broached until recently (I'm glad it was over) and so being the traditional person she was, mum was not able to talk to me about 'it' directly at the time.

"I m-mean what if you get a job abroad?"

Even though I knew what was really on her mind, I played along. "Mum, you know I'm against brain drain. I wouldn't even apply for a job abroad in the first place!"

Gobsmacked mum next caught onto the very first thing she knew I wouldn't deny. "What about hajj ? You'd have to do it at least once in a lifetime right? What if it gets cold? How will you manage then?"

"Ammi we're speaking about a desert and deserts aren't cold. Well, until it turns dark at least. So when I visit, I'd do all my duties during the day and when it becomes dark, I'd rush to my hotel room and switch on the radiator to its full intensity. Don't worry. I have it all planned." Saying so, I pulled my quilts upto my chin, adjusted my ear puffs and went to sleep. Symbolically telling my mom I was made for tropical climate and that I'd never leave my country!

*****

Ima staying here. Mum can't pack me off. What about ya? Staying in your country or leaving for another place?