I Just Want My Life Back

★ ★ ★

Marlena threw the front door to her house open, the smell of various breakfast foods flooding into her nostrils. Bucky trailed in behind her, shutting the front door once he was inside. The two were supposed to be at Steve's apartment, but they had left to begin packing for the trip to New York tomorrow. Marlena was happy about the fact someone in New York could potentially relieve her of the burden that was her mental powers, but she wasn't happy about the fact that she had to pack an entire suitcase for the opportunity. It was a very time consuming endeavor, and although she loved the fact that she was able to go back to New York again, she wished it could be done without all the extra activity.

Bucky plopped down onto the couch and turned the TV channel, and Marlena rolled her eyes at him before heading into the kitchen. Bucky hated packing almost as much as she did, so he just planned on letting her take care of the situation. She would get it done much faster in order to get it over with, while he would linger in the background trying to figure out which shirt he should wear to sleep in or what hoodie to wear if it was chilly out, which, during this time of the year, it would be, especially in New York. It was the way it was when they first started packing for Brooklyn back in May, and Marlena didn't necessarily want to deal with it again, although she wouldn't mind just a little bit of help.

"Hey, mom," Marlena greeted.

Miranda, who stood at the stove, jumped back in surprise and turned around to face her daughter. She was definitely not expecting her to show up at all. "Marlena? I thought you were at Steve's?"

Marlena made a face at her mother's strange behavior and ventured over to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of Coke and a bottle of root beer. "I came home to pack for New York. Why are you so jumpy?" she questioned, her brow raised skeptically.

"I just wasn't expecting you to come home," Miranda murmured before turning back to the stove.

Marlena shook her head at her mom before heading back out of the kitchen. She didn't exactly have time to question her mother's peculiar mood, nor did she have the time to question why she was running around the house in only a bathrobe. She always wore some sort of clothing around Mason, but for all Marlena knew Mason wasn't even home. If she remembered correctly, Mason had told her that his friend's birthday party was sometime during the month and he had been planning on staying over that night; last night must've been that night.

Marlena dropped the bottle of Coke onto Bucky's abdomen, eliciting a small groan from the soldier. He removed the bottle from his stomach and looked up at Marlena, a warm smile coming onto his face as he met the beautiful hazel eyes of the girl he so dearly loved.

"Thank you, babydoll," Bucky said to her.

"You're welcome, Buck." Marlena smiled and sat down on his stomach, a giggle escaping her at the sound of him grunting under her weight.

"They really beefed you up, didn't they?" he chuckled as he sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Just a bit. It won't last long if I don't get back into it though," Marlena said to him, shifting herself on his lap so she was now facing him. "When we get back, will you start working out with me?"

Bucky smirked and nodded. "Of course I will," Bucky answered, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

Marlena smiled and got off of him. "Good. I'm going to go upstairs and pack, though."

"Have fun," Bucky chuckled as she headed towards the stairs.

"Oh," Marlena exclaimed as she started up. "Don't go in the kitchen; mom is only wearing a bathrobe and it's not the long kind," she said before darting up the stairs.

She ran to her room, wasting no time at all in heading over to her closet to pull out one of her over-sized suitcases. She began throwing outfits into the suitcase left and right, both outfits of hers and Bucky's. She just hope he didn't mind what she picked out for him to wear, but then again, had he chosen to help her she probably would've cared more about his opinion.

It took Marlena almost a half hour to completely finish packing her suitcase, but she couldn't help but feel as if something was missing from the suitcase. She narrowed her eyes at the folded fabric sitting in the suitcase and scurried back over to her closet, searching for the army hoodie her dad had given her when she was young. It was not in its normal place in her closet, and she knew then that her mom had taken it, as she normally liked to do with Marlena's clothes.

Marlena let out a sigh and ran out of her room, making her way back down the stairs. Bucky, whose Coke bottle was pressed to his lips, looked at her, his brows raised in question. Marlena only smiled at him and rushed into the kitchen, where her mom was sat at the island, munching away on her breakfast.

"Mom, where's my hoodie?" she asked, taking a piece of bacon from her plate.

"Which one?" Miranda replied with a mouth full of food.

Marlena threw the piece of bacon into her mouth. "The one dad gave me."

Miranda shrugged and took a bite of her eggs. "Honey, I have no idea to be honest. It's somewhere in my room; we'll look for it later."

Marlena rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to pack for tomorrow, mom. I can't look for it later. Bucky and I have to get back to Steve's."

"Can't you do without it for a couple of days?"

Marlena scoffed and turned around to head out of the kitchen. "I'll just go look for it myself," she grumbled before running out of the kitchen.

Miranda's eyes widened and she hopped up from her stool immediately, trailing as quickly as she could after her daughter.

"Marlena, wait!" Miranda called as her daughter started up the stairs.

She ran as quickly as she could towards the brunette; she reached out to grab her arm, but ended up tripping and falling and grasping Marlena's ankle instead. Marlena squealed as she hit the stairs, and she turned back to look at her mom, a glare on her face.

"What the hell is your problem?" Marlena exclaimed frustratedly as she attempted to pull her ankle from her mom's grasp.

Bucky watched the situation unfold with wide eyes. He wasn't sure whether or not he should involve himself, nor was he sure what exactly was going on at the moment.

"I'll help you look for it later," Miranda answered as Marlena shook herself free. "Come back!"

"I don't have time for later!" Marlena called as she continued her run up the stairs and down the hallway to her mom's room.

She shoved the bedroom door open, ignoring the sound of her mother's footsteps behind her. She stopped in her tracks, though, when she noticed the shirtless man laying in her mom's king-sized bed. She recognized him as the man in the doctor's coat she saw in her mom's head: Greyson Wallace.

It was all beginning to make sense to her now. This was the reason why her mom was in a bathrobe rather than actual civilian clothes; this was the reason why her mom had been cooking so much food; this was the reason why her mom had been acting so strangely. Greyson being at her home was the reason for all of it. It didn't exactly take long for Marlena to put two and two together, and soon enough she was not only feeling disturbed, but she was also feeling rather nauseous.

"Well," Greyson started with a low chuckle, running a hand through his tousled hair. "This is awkward."

Marlena could feel herself growing particularly angry as she looked at the man in her mom's bed. She was still very sensitive about the subject of her mom being with someone who wasn't her dad, but there was something else gnawing at the edges of her mind, something she couldn't seem to pick up on at the moment.

"Marlena," Miranda started, only to be ignored.

"Y'know, she screwed my dead father in that bed too, by the way," Marlena snapped before turning around and heading back down the stairs.

Miranda frowned and sent Greyson an apologetic look before running after her.

"Marlena, please!" Miranda called as she ran down the stairs.

Marlena rolled her eyes and turned around to look at her mom, her face red with anger and sadness.

"Please tell me, mother, is that what you've been doing since June? Oh, excuse me—who you've been doing," Marlena questioned, earning Bucky's attention from the couch.

"Stop," Miranda snapped. "You may be twenty years old, but I'm still your mom, Elisabeth."

Marlena rolled her eyes at the use of her middle name and turned to walk away, but Miranda grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. Images of her Miranda and Greyson flashed inside Marlena's mind, and she ripped her hand away immediately, unable to watch what was unfolding.

"Y'know, since I've been back, Mason and Bucky are quite possibly the only people who haven't mentally screwed me up," Marlena strained.

"Marlena, stop."

"No!" she exclaimed loudly, startling both Bucky and Miranda. "You don't understand how hard this is for me, mom. My life was ripped away from me, and all I wanted for three months was to have it back—that was all that I wanted. Did I get that, though? No. Instead, I got my best friend hooking up with my dick of an ex-boyfriend and my mom trying to replace the man I loved most in my life; let's not forget about my weird psycho powers or the fact that my best friend practically betrayed me by attempting to rid my life of the one person who makes it worth living. This is not the life I expected to come back to, nor is this the life I would've wanted to come back to."

It hadn't taken Marlena long at all to realize that Greyson was not the main source of her emotional breakdown, rather it was the life she was trying so desperately hard to adjust to. Marlena had only ever wanted to get her life back from Hydra, and even now that she had it back it wasn't going exactly the way she had planned it. She wanted her life to be the way it was before she was so wrongly taken; she wanted to have a best friend that would never in a million years think of betraying her trust or a best friend that would never end up dating her ex, whom she claimed to hate; she wanted it to be just her, her mom, and Mason like it had been for the past several years, and she didn't want a man that wasn't her dad to get in the way of that; she wanted to be rid of the ridiculous mentality powers Hydra had burdened her with; she wanted to love Bucky without the fear of Hydra trying to take him away from her; she wanted to be rid of the amount of blood on her hands.

This, however, was not at all what she wanted.

"Are you trying to tell me that this whole time you've been upset because you wanted your life to go back to the way it was? Greyson has nothing to do with how you're feeling?" Miranda asked her daughter.

Bucky was now standing closely behind the two, while Greyson was standing at the top of the stairs, watching the altercation between Miranda and Marlena take place.

"He does to an extent, but yes, that is mostly why I am upset," Marlena answered. "All I wanted was for things to go back to the way they used to be, but I guess not everyone can get what they want."

Miranda let out a sigh and pulled her daughter to her, wrapping her arms around her in a comforting notion. Marlena responded by burying her face into her mom's shoulder and wrapping her arms around her as well.

"Everything happens for a reason, Marlena," Miranda spoke. "Just remember that when you're around the ones you love, okay?"

Marlena scoffed and pulled away from her, moving to stand near Bucky. "Your sentiment disgusts me, mom."

"As well as it disgusts me," a new voice called, catching all three of their attention.

Rather than being at the top of the stairs as he was only seconds ago, Greyson was now making his way down the stairs. He was fully clothed now, unlike he was minutes ago, and that made Marlena feel slightly better.

"I promise you that was not at all how I wanted to meet you, nor was it how I wanted to look—I haven't shaved in six days and my breath smells horrible," Greyson said as he approached Marlena and Bucky. "But fate is a fickle thing, Marlena Claire, as is your mother, and I would love to apologize on her behalf for being such a horrible parent. I know that if I were her I would not keep my lover's identity from my daughter, especially if my daughter was a feisty one such as yourself."

Marlena bit her mouth to keep from laughing, while Miranda merely smacked him on the arm. "If you're done, maybe I can actually introduce you."

"There's no need," Greyson snorted as he looked to Marlena and Bucky. "I know she's your daughter and he's her boyfriend. You talk about them so much that I'm beginning to dream about them, Miranda."

Marlena's face twisted at the sound of the word boyfriend. "First correction, Bucky is not my boyfriend. Dylan was my boyfriend, so it's almost an insult to put the two of them in the same category. He's something, but he isn't my boyfriend," Marlena chuckled as she hugged Bucky's side.

Greyson eyed Marlena for a second before turning to Miranda. "I'm starting to like her more than I like you."

Miranda rolled her eyes and ran up the stairs to put on some clothes, leaving Bucky and Marlena with Greyson. Marlena removed herself from Bucky's side and strolled over to the couch to sit down, prompting Greyson and Bucky to follow her. Bucky sat down beside her, as usual, and Greyson sat down in the recliner opposite of them.

Marlena looked over at the man in the chair and frowned. She was beginning to feel bad for what she said to him upstairs. It had been said in the heat of the moment, and although Marlena was still weary about her mom with someone who wasn't her dad, she couldn't deny that Greyson was a good man and didn't deserve to be spoken to like that; he had proven that by muttering only a few lines.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you upstairs," Marlena apologized.

Greyson smiled at her. "It's okay, kid. I can understand why you would be upset about your mom and I being together. But one thing I'm sure of is that I'm not here to replace your dad; I would never in a million years dream of it. I met your dad many years ago when I first started working down at the hospital with your mom, and even now I still think he's a wonderful man; I wouldn't even try competing with him."

"Thank you. That really means a lot to me," Marlena said to him.

Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought it would be, Marlena thought to herself.

"So," Greyson smirked as he eyed the couple on the couch. "You're very much the opposite of your mom."

"What does that mean?" Marlena asked with a raised brow.

"She's into younger men and you're into older men," Greyson chuckled.

Bucky snickered and took a sip of his Coke, while Marlena sat and stared at her mother's boyfriend. "He's only like eight years older than me," Marlena said with narrowed eyes.

Greyson laughed. "Is that how math works nowadays? I wasn't aware that subtracting twenty from ninety-seven would give you eight. Back in my day, ninety-seven minus twenty equaled seventy-seven. I mean, I knew the American education system was awful, but I didn't know it was that awful."

"She told you?" Marlena exclaimed. "Wow."

"She did, but I'm only partially teasing," he smiled, shifting his attention towards Bucky. "By the way, Bucky, thank you for bringing Marlena back home to Miranda and Mason. And you must be happy to have her back as well; I can tell you really care about her."

"It was more than a pleasure," Bucky replied. He glanced at Marlena, smiling the instant his eyes met hers. "And I do—more than anything in the world."

"Fantastic," Greyson chimed. "Maybe when you two get back from New York we can all go out to dinner and get to know each other better."

Marlena smiled. "That sounds really good, actually."

"Wonderful; it's a date then," Greyson smiled, leaning back in his seat.

In that moment, Marlena felt as if her little breakdown earlier was almost irrelevant. Yes, she was living a completely different life than she had been before she was taken by Hydra, and her life now was far from being normal—it probably never would be again—but as she sat and talked to Greyson, she felt as if maybe he could be a key part of helping put her life back on the normality scale. It was still going to take time to adjust to the whole thing, but she would eventually—she was sure of it.

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