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FIRST IMPRESSIONS!

title! (5/5)

-your title is very appropriate for your story! and i like the fact that it was referenced in chapter 1 as well. 

cover! (5/5)

-your cover looks so amazing ohmygod both angel and devil taehyung is there plus rule number 1 aashsjdks i'm so impressed omg it's so gorgeous aaaaaah

description! (10/10)

-i love your description! it's not too short nor is it too long and has just enough information for the reader to get interested.

WRITING STYLE!

grammar! (14/20)

-i personally really like your writing style! you give just enough information to your readers without making it boring or too long! the way you write is really admirable because it reminds me of how published books sound like aaashsjks :>

-although i did notice some mistakes that you made throughout the book and i'll talk about it in detail below:

(these screenshots are from the first few chapters of your book.)

-while reading your book, i've seen that you usually forget to add commas a lot. as in a loT. make sure to place commas before a name especially during direct addresses. commas are very important because it lessens the 'risk' of misunderstandings.

-'telling you' sounded confusing to me because i didn't really understand it properly at first. i was like, "who's going to be telling you?" and it was namjoon after all. try adding an 'i', it'll hopefully clear up the supposed confusion.

-also, another noticeable mistake that you've been constantly making is not putting a question mark after a question that has an exclamation mark. aaaah i don't really know what it's called but you can see an example of that in the screenshot above. without the question mark, it'll sound like the character talking is exaggerating with their dialogue, to be honest.

-maybe edit your whole book and somehow improve your punctuation marks? i think that'll help a lot!

-'here' is much more proper than 'there'. also, i'm pretty sure you know the difference between 'their' and 'there', right? if not, then 'their' is a possessive pronoun while 'there' can be an adjective, noun and adverb.

-examples are as follows:
their house has been fully renovated after two years.
go place your bag over there.

-put a comma to organize your paragraphs. it's like a speech, let the speaker take breaks before continuing onto the next sentence or phrase.

-be consistent with your verb tenses, i'll explain this further later on.

1. instead of typing 'hehehe' in a dialogue, add a narration before it that indicates that he's giggling. oh, i think i just said it. maybe include the word 'giggle' or its synonym and omit 'hehehe'? i think that might make it better.

-be careful with typos.

-minor errors with commas and verb tenses again.

-reread your chapters sometimes to discover awkward sentences. i promise you, it will help a lot.

-the last paragraph was a run-on sentence. if ever you come across these, simply break it down into two or three and make sure that it still sounds complete.

-insert conjunctions if needed and maybe read about prepositions.

1. i don't think that hoseok's name in all caps is needed? it clearly stated after it that namjoon yelled so i don't see the point of capitalizing every single letter of his name. maybe add an exclamation point to emphasize it but other than that, it doesn't seem necessary.

1. add spaces between each word at all times. it will make it look less crowded and much neater that way. it may sound better if it looks like this: "So go on and find him, and please. Lose. Your. Temper."

2. 'it's me' sounds too brief and off?i would personally 'rephrase' it to: 'this is me we're talking about'. taehyung has kind of a cocky attitude and i think that the rephrased sentence might be more suitable?

-the first three sentences in the second paragraph seem too abrupt? like they're too direct and straightforward, almost sounding awkward which is why i joined two of the sentences and tried to make it less somehow awkward?

1. in this sentence, it looks like you used 'whom' wrong? i'm actually not really sure how to fix it, maybe you can somehow find a way?

-using 'whom' would make sense if your sentence was 'a human female, whom i don't know, spoke'.

-here's a more detailed explanation:

-in this case, we have to rearrange the sentence to double check if 'whom' is the right pronoun to use and not 'who'.

-'a human female, whom i don't know, spoke'

-they replaced 'whom' with either 'she' and 'her' which is what we'll be trying.
'-she i don't know-' and '-her i don't know-'.

-this obviously means that we have to rearrange the sentence. let's try putting the pronouns at the end of the phrase:
'-i don't know she-' and '-i don't know her-'.

-it's clear that 'her' fits better compared to 'she', which is why 'whom' is correct.

-a little fixing on 1. and you're good to go!

-another mistake wherein you used two verb tenses in one sentence. always focus on only one verb tense to avoid confusion.

-'veeerry' is unnecessary because this is a dialogue, maybe you can say "he elongated the word 'very'" instead of typing 'veeerry'.

-here we have another typo, as well as some awkward sentences.

summary of everything:

-insert commas when necessary and omit if not needed. this is one of your very noticeable mistakes.

-add question marks if that dialogue is a question, this will lessen its exaggeration especially if it has an exclamation point.
ex. what's with the hair!
what's with the hair?!
one single punctuation mark makes a huge difference.

-although you rarely make this mistake, i still want to remind you to always focus on only one verb tense.

-be on a look out for awkward sentences.

-this only happened after i stopped taking screenshots but please keep in mind to regularly capitalize the first words of sentences and add periods before dialogues.

-proofread and edit your entire book while taking note of some of the points that i made. i hope that these will help you refine and polish 'd'angel'!

diction! (10/10)

-you use 'complex' words from time to time then you keep it simple for the rest of the sentences! i love how you explore advanced words HAHAHA i sound kind of weird but yeah, basically :>

editing! (2/5)

-i've noticed some spelling errors and typos that you've made throughout the book, i may have missed some but here's what i've gathered:

'bald' should be 'bold'.
'messaged' should be 'massaged'.
'disparately' should be 'desperately'.
'taehyugn' should be 'taehyung'.
'quiet' should be 'quite'.
'pumping' should be 'bumping'.
'chock' should be 'choke'.
'pasteliance' should be 'pestilence'.

-the best solution to this is, like i mentioned ealier, to proofread your book and replace those typos to make them correct.

STORY DYNAMICS!

plot! (19/20)

-ohmygod i love your plot so much! your imagination is so creative and i really applaud you for writing such an amazing book! although i have read books about angels and devils but they're not something similar to yours!

-you really took 'think out of the box' onto a whole new level! i was confused at the start of your book but then when secrets and pasts started unraveling, i was just left speechless and you just have no idea how overwhelmed i was omg

-you. are. so. damn. creative. wow.

flow! (9/10)

-you took your time to develop relationships between the characters and i like that. i'm most probably the only one who thinks that jin got involved too fast? i think it's just me oops but other than that, characters like taehyung, jungkook, yoongi, jimin and hoseok's relationships with each other seem really realistic! at least to me.

characters! (10/10)

-yes pls i stan how different your characters are! their diversity is just out of this world i-

-each and every one of them seem to have their own minds and emotions and i just love that so much.

OVERALL EXPERIENCE!

satisfaction! (10/10)

-maybe it's because the book is finished and all my questions plus feelings have been answered and satisfied (if that makes sense) but it might also be because of how brilliant you're whole book is, regardless of some of your grammatical errors.

addictiveness! (4/5)

-i don't know why i wasn't super addicted to your book but that currently doesn't matter because i was 100% satisfied :)

overall thoughts! (98/110)

-you did such an excellent job coming up with ideas and with writing 'd'angel'! it definitely deserves all the awards that it has currently gotten and i'm really happy to have discovered an underrated gem!

-all i advise you to do is to, as i said, proofread and polish your entire book for its benefit and, trust me, it'll be such a great investment of your time and effort because it will make your book much better and more enhanced.

-thank you so much for requesting! have a lovely day ahead, nourhaneautoumanion!

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feel free to ask me any questions or clarifications! i'm willing to answer all of them!

-chef mae <3