There were cheers when we got home. The war was over flyer all.

But I couldn't look happy. Many people wondered why, until they caught a sight of an empty horse besides me.

The general was gone. The casket on the cart behind us was even a bigger sign. And we rode through town, to the capital to see the emperor.

I was to address the people on Liam's place.

And not everyone knew.

So I stood in front of a sea of people, my chest aching. "We won the war. A final tidal wave of mana surged and destroyed those who wished to harm the empire. We lost a lot of good men, good people, but I'm glad most can return home to you, their friends, families, loved ones."

I saw Leon in the crowd, who seemed to be searching for Liam, standing alongside my family, and my voice caught him my throat.

"We lost General Liam."

And silence fell, not even a breath could be heard.

"He died protecting the empire, and because of him, we could persist. He was a brilliant soldier, friend, and a wonderful husband."

At the mention, they seemed worried for his wife.

"I will not be attending any festivities for the celebration, and I hope you understand. You lost a hero, by I lost my soulmate. Thank you, may the empire remain strong."

And with that, I rushed out.

Out to my horse, ignoring those who followed, just to rush home.

Home, where Liam's casket rested.

And I felt pain in my stomach, my throat, my eyes and heart all the way home, but I held it together til I got their and was able to lead the solider to the room we'd store Liam for the funeral. The soldiers were mournful, and they saw me break.

I'd been close to breaking down before, but never in front of others.

I couldn't help it this time as I knelt besides his casket and a sob wrecked it's way through me.

I felt comforting pats on the back before hearing the door close.

And time passed. But I stayed there, clutching at his casket, wishing he didn't have to be gone, that I could still have him with me.

And even though I knew perfectly well he was alive in another world, the version of him that I woke up next to in the morning was gone. The person who's laugh at my jokes was gone. The man who told me he loved me when no one else bothered to give me a chance... was gone.

I wouldn't ever truly be over his death.

I was still sobbing when the door opened again. I could hear shoes scuff in surprise, apparently shocked at what they saw.

"Oh gods, Isaiah-" I heard someone rushing and I got pulled up and into a hug. I blinked through the tears to see my families worried faces, even more worried now that they got a look.

I knew then it was Leon hugging me, and I couldn't help but sob harder.

"I'm sorry. I should've brought him home. It should've been me, not-"

"He wouldn't have wanted that."

The words lodged in my throat, and I shut up, tears free falling.

Leon pulled away, his face in pain. "He loved you. I knew he was happy. He was cursed to never get that, and you gave him that. So he died happy."

"It's not fair. He's gone and I should've been able to help him."

He looked down at my leg, and the rubbish splint I had put it in. I hadn't thought of it much in the days it took for us to come back.

"You need to rest."

"But the fun-"

"Isaiah, please. For him, for us, get some rest. We care about you. We'll plan it."

"I-"

He sighed, "please. Don't make me go to drastic measures to get you to rest properly."

Somehow, I knew he was being serious. Alright. "I'll go rest."

"Thank you."

My brothers helped support me as we walked to my room.

My room.

It used to be Liam's room too-

And his stuff was still there.

I was barely even out the door when I stopped. "Can I sleep in my old room?"

They all looked at me strange.

"Liam's things are still- I can't go back in there yet."

All at once, they understood, and helped bring me to my old room. Sure, Liam had stayed in there before, but merely for a short while while he grabbed something from it our tried to cheer me up. He never slept there, and never were we intimate there.

If there was a place untouched by Liam that I could sleep, it would be there.

And when I entered, it was untouched. Everything exactly as I left it. They set me on my bed and my father, with the help of some maids, worked on fixing my splint.

I didn't focus on the pain. It was over pretty quickly, so I let it hurt. And as soon as it was over, everyone was gone. So I sat there, once again, feeling my head with terrifying nothings of what's to come.

"Oh, my child, don't cry." I felt my bed dip, and I glanced besides me, seeing Amor, looking at me with worry.

"He was the one. He owned my heart, my everything."

The god nodded solemnly. "I know. You were blessed to love two people forever, and it isn't fair he had to leave as quickly as he did."

"I was going to ask him to adopt. J had a plan and everything."

"I know."

I looked at my hands, fiddling with the band around my finger. "As she not the man from the vision?"

"No. He was exactly who you needed," he informed. "Sometimes the people we need are the ones in our life the shortest. And he loved you. You loved him. For whatever it's worth, you made each other better."

"Will I find happiness?"

"Yes," he quickly assured. "Maybe not now, but you will. You need time to grieve and move on, and that's a long healing process, but when you're ready, you'll know."

"I will?"

"You will. Now my child, you must rest. Hard days are ahead of you."

Hard days, huh?

The god pressed a kiss to the top of my head, "you're a great man. You'll learn to move on, but you're allowed time to grieve. Your life is only going to become more extraordinary, so be sure to look up when the pain subsides, if it ever does."

And then the god was gone.

He was right, I was allowed to grieve, so I would. I still fight and do what was right, but I'd grieve. I'd have to change my clothing to black to truly accommodate it, but for the present, the time I spent locked in my room, colors weren't the biggest concern of mine.

I'd manage, I'd survive, and I'd always miss
Liam.