I'm not doing a very good job

Of getting through something

In my head

Processing

Though I have said

I shall not let

Fear control me

The realism of it all

Is that

What happened

At this time last year

I never had a chance

To process

Because everything

Was happening one

Right after the other

I didn't have a breather

No time to contemplate

On what would or could happen next

Therein lies the problem

For which I am trying to find

A sensible solution

But at the same time

My brain cries out

Why?

Why couldn't you forget

This part!

You wiped out

Almost two years' worth of memories

But this

This hell

Anxiety

Pain

Unknown

Crash

The memory of it all

Reigns supreme

I wish for the day when

I can know that I did the proper job

Of processing it

And throw it away for good

It is not here to help me

But hinder me

And therefore

It shall not pass

Into the future