That Distant Dream

By djhowty

Chapters 1-5

Review by ESHurricane

Overview

That Distant Dream is a dense sci-fi epic that I adore getting lost in. It's that kind of thick descriptive prose that I can chew on, that I wish I had a paper copy to curl up by the fire with on a cold rainy day.

Cover/Title

The cover of this story is lovely in its blue-toned simplicity. At first glance the large words and shades of blue/grey are nothing too complicated, but looking closer it's a series of windows in front of a suspended astronaut floating in space. The composition is beautiful and gives a feel of faraway worlds but with a hazy kind of distance. Which is extremely relevant to the title. That Distant Dream is a relevant title in its own right, fitting the themes of the protagonist's dreams and how far she's travelled in distance and time from her own life.

Summary/Description

The summary gives me just enough to think on, and hooks me in from the start. It sets up Melin's past, and then takes me to the present, telling me where she is and what her purpose is. It makes me ask just enough questions, and then wonder what the conflict is that is keeping this girl from getting her fresh start.

Hook

The shuttle jerked violently to the left, shuddered as both engines made the distinct whine of crystal overload, shrieked, and died.

This first sentence is a perfect example of a good hook. It drops me right into the middle of tense action, gives me some movement, describes sounds in a visceral way, and gives me a taste of something unknown (crystal overload) that I want to know more about.

I normally prefer an opening sentence to be short and snappy, but this one drawls out in a lovely cadence that I can't help but get lost in. This sets the tone for my experience with the story to come.

Grammar/Structure

The grammar and structure are insanely tight here. If I had to be nitpicky, I'd suggest a comb through for stay adverbs here and there but honestly I didn't find them all that distracting.

Protagonist

Melin is an extremely interesting and well-rounded character, with flaws and a personality and a history that grows more intriguing by the chapter. She has this amazing and fantastical backstory from the war, and is super famous for her badassery. (I'd be totally into reading a prequel of her adventures, by the by...) Now she's grizzled and jaded and doesn't have much control over her temper. It's endearing and also tragic in a way, because I want her to have the peace she so desperately wants, but I also want her to live up to her potential. It's in this way that I got incredibly attached to her, right away.

Narrative

The narrative is, as I said in the overview, dense. I adore it. It's that kind of deep sci-fi that I just drown in, that paints such an amazing picture of the setting and world that I feel like I live in it. It's written in third-limited, with Melin as the POV character, and it's absorbing. I prefer reading in third person because I feel like I'm really seeing a whole story, but in limited to her I'm able to feel what she's feeling, and it's always intense. She doesn't have an easy life, and the rawness of that keeps me glued to the prose.

Plot/Pacing

The plot so far is definitely interesting, with Melin's backstory interwoven with her attempting to find her place on this planet. The tech going down, her lack of an implant, and her fame warring with her want to just go unnoticed are all things that enrich the plot as it moves. I would be willing to bet that this story has gotten complaints on the pacing being too slow, but I wouldn't change a thing. The story flows really well, and at no point do I feel like it is dragging or speeding. Every tidbit of detail and character development is interesting and well delivered.

Closing Comments

Overall, it's no question why That Distant Dream is a Rebel Wars champion or a Watty's Shortlister! It's a delicious slice of sci-fi pie that I can't wait to binge the rest of.