The Siloteri: Renegades (The Storyteller - Chapter 3) by KCSSHD

Reviewed by AmyMarieZ

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Overview: The Siloteri: Renegades is a science fiction story about Catalyst, an accomplished empire with seemingly unlimited wealth and highly developed technology. As time passes, corruption and civil war find their way into the empire, leaving the main character Falcon caught in the middle to help determine the future of the once-great empire.

Structure: While the story is written in the third person limited point of view, focused on the main character Falcon, the manner of the narration tends almost to third omniscient. While this style might seem out of place or odd in most stories, it fits extremely well in this story. The technology the characters possess allow them to feel, or even see, the thoughts and feelings of other characters. The narration mimicking the technology adds depth to the story as a whole!

The story begins with a part titled "The Storyteller". This part is a brief narrative from the first-person point of view of a member of an almost god-like race of beings that played a part in creating humans. The narrator explains how he is recanting the story to come, in hopes that humans can learn from it and better themselves and their society.

From there, the story continues with a prologue showing the character Falcon reliving his memory of a terrorist attack at a train station only a few hours earlier. The story moves into chapter one with Falcon coming out of the induced memory and back into the real world. With the structure and part titles, chapter one feels like it should take place much longer after the prologue than it actually does. It seems like it could be days, maybe even years, when in reality it is only a few hours later in the same day. While this becomes apparent after reading further into chapter 1, it is slightly confusing at first. One consideration could be renumbering the prologue to just be "chapter 1". The part titled "The Storyteller" could simply be left as is or retitled "Prologue". Another consideration could be establishing the time frame of the prologue and chapter 1 earlier on.

Grammar: Overall, the grammar in The Siloteri: Renegades is nearly perfect. There are one or two typos throughout the five parts read for this review, but they are minor and do not at all detract from the reading experience. The only recurring oddity with the grammar is occasional tense shifts. Throughout the chapters, general thoughts or remarks within the narration are sometimes written in the present tense, while the story is written in the past tense. Although sometimes tense shifts like this can make sense to indicate the present telling of the story verses the past events, in many locations the tense shifts do not make sense and would be smoother if switched to the past tense to match the rest of the narration.

Pace: The balance of dialog, description, and action give the scenes the feel as though they are occurring in real time, making them easy to visualize. There are only a few exceptions. For example, a large explosion occurs in the train station at the end of the first chapter. The descriptions and use of long sentences slow the pace of the action at this point of the story. Drawing out the scene creates an interesting effect where the explosion feels like it is occurring in slow motion, so in many ways the slow pace here actually adds to the story rather than detracting. However, a few short, more quickly paced sentences during this event might help rev up the intensity.

In contrast, a scene that felt slightly rushed was in chapter two after the second bombing. The descriptions of the bombing itself were well paced and vividly described! The inclusion of just the right amount of gore during this scene also increased the engagement. However, the scene showing the characters moving inside after the bombing ended seemed a bit rushed, making it hard to visualize the movements. The pacing here could have been improved by including a bit more description of character actions and perhaps a few lines of dialog. Another option could be cutting the scene sooner and using a scene break to skip the transition entirely.

The pacing of the plot as a whole is well done. Each chapter develops the plot further and provides interesting characterization. There are no chapters or parts that drag or feel irrelevant. At its current pace, it seems like the story could stretch to be quite long while still remaining wholly engaging and interesting. It could work as a stand-alone but long story, or a multiple installment adventure.

Character Development: All of the characters in this story have been crafted with so much thought that they feel real. They all have a backstory, even if those histories have not yet been presented in the story. Essentially, they feel like real people living in a real world. The physical descriptions of the characters are interesting and easy to visualize.

One issue with the character development is that many characters are introduced at the same time, specifically in chapter 1. The introduction of so many characters at once makes it difficult for the reader to become attached to any of them individually. Even the main character Falcon becomes slightly washed out by the others in this chapter. Another reason why it is hard to get a handle on all of the characters right from the beginning is that the world building and plot progression is very dense. Although everything is clearly written and explained, the pure amount of information a reader needs to process while reading this first chapter is a bit overwhelming.

As the story continues, the reader attachment to individual characters skyrockets. By chapter three, a reader will easily have a handle on all the main characters and their personalities. Chapter three specifically develops the characters in a way that is relatable to a reader. In contrast to other chapters, this chapter shows the main characters Falcon, Victoria, Gabriel, Eros, and Athena interacting naturally. The topic of their conversation is less heavy on information such as plot and worldbuilding. Instead, it is more emotion driven an includes a fair bit of humor. From there, the plot takes the forefront again as the characters observe an emotional and devastating news report about the recent terrorist attacks. The portrayal of the character emotions, as well as their interactions in this chapter are very realistic and relatable. Showing the characters in this light contrasts previous chapters well and provides a lot of depth and insight into the characters and their personalities.

Vocabulary/Description/Worldbuilding: The vocabulary in The Siloteri: Renegades is highly varied, adding interest to the narration. Although complex and technical concepts are included in the story, the use of a combination of technical and commonplace terminology makes these difficult concepts easy to grasp and understand.

The descriptions in The Siloteri: Renegades are all well written and vivid. With the exception of one or two awkwardly worded sentences, the writing style flows beautifully. One place with particularly impressive descriptions is right at the beginning of the Prologue. The description of the city, and specifically the building "The Shard" is both poetic and vivid, making the scene easy to visualize and feel. Another place where the descriptions were exceptional was the description of the second explosion. The explosion is described with intensity, and the characters' actions, placement, and the sensations they feel during the explosion are conveyed excellently!

The worldbuilding in this story is one of the most amazing things about it. The author has thought out every single detail, even though not everything has been presented in-story yet. From the fact that days on the planet where the story takes place are 72 hours long, to the economics behind the excessive wealth the society is able to maintain without inflation, the world is developed both on the page and in the author's mind.

The technology within the world is highly interesting and very well presented. The characters possess nanomachines that give them a power of omniscience. They are able to perceive the feelings and experiences of others. The concept of it seems hard to grasp, but it is shown so well in the story that the reader gains an incredible understanding of what the technology "feels" like to use. The technology is first shown rather than explained in the prologue when Falcon uses it to peer into the thoughts of passengers on the train, curious if they are excited to see the newly constructed skyscraper "The Shard". However, what Falcon ends up seeing is pure terror as a bombing occurs on the train.

Plot: The plot of the story is very interesting and engaging. The idea of the corruption within the empire of Catalyst and the terrorist attacks and dissent create an action packed and mysterious plot. In these first few chapters, the characters seem to only just be beginning to realize the full extent of what is going on as they scramble to try and figure out why it is happening and who is behind it.

While the plot itself is excellent, the way it is presented is sometimes less engaging and suspenseful than it could be. The world-building and plot-facts presented in chapter 1 of the story during Falcon's interrogation is dense. While all the information is well shown and explained, it requires a lot of focus to process. This takes attention away from the suspense and character development. Toning down the amount of information and plot presented in the beginning of the story and increasing the focus on the mystery surrounding the "why" of what is happening could greatly increase the suspense, making the drive to continue reading this story even higher!

Summary: The depth present in every aspect of this story is impressive! The development of the world, society, and technology is so well done it feels real! The descriptions allow a reader to truly immerse themselves in the world, while the characters bring the reader into the mystery of the corruption within the Empire of Catalyst. While only a handful of chapters have been published so far, The Siloteri: Renegades is truly a sci-fi story that stands out as spectacular!