REBEL SUN ╱ CONRAD FISHER
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ .  written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
chapter 001 ━━━━━━ ❛ rebel returns ❜

The sun was shining. Blazing rays coated the air in Amber's neighborhood. She, however, was sprawled on her bed, her blonde nest of curls covering her face. Her blue eyes were shut tightly; she was awake, but in her last attempt to forget what day it was, she was trying to force her restless self back to sleep.

It wasn't working.

The sun shone brightly through her window, past her slightly drawn curtains. It was annoying her, shining right in her face. She had been awake for two hours, and for those two hours, the sun had been right in her face, causing her to be irritated. Why must this day be here already? Why, why, why, why?

She huffed, setting the pillow she had cuddled down on her bed. She sat up, blowing out the bits of loose golden hair that hovered in front of her eyes, and she glared out the window. That was a mistake. The sun was taunting her with its brightness and cheerfulness.

Just glancing out the white-paned window, she could see that it was a nice, warm summer morning. She hated it. She hated that she hated it. But she hated it nonetheless. It wasn't the fact that it was a nice day, that the wind was calm, that the sun was glowing brightly, or that the laughter of kids running around outside sounded in her ear that was causing her to be in such a witchy mood. No, it was what that day was going to entail—not where she was going, but who she was going to see.

She didn't want to see him. Everyone knew this. No, she couldn't see him. She couldn't see that asshole and then turn around and have to live with him for the next two months. She just couldn't do it, not even after two years of their blue and green eyes not seeing one another.

Amber straightened her back, stretching out the last bit of lingering sleep, and removed the soft duvet from over her legs with a long sigh. Her sheets were next, and once she was free from her bed, she got up and walked over to her dresser.

Her eyes caught the box that sat on the floor. All of her medals and trophies from her swimming competitions were neatly packed away. She sighed, not trying to relive that time in her life, and she moved her attention away from the box and onto her reflection in the mirror.

Her hair—or what some people would describe as a bird's nest—was the first thing she noticed. How could she not? It was a mess. Bedhead was her worst enemy. Then she moved on to her tired eyes. No matter how much sleep she got—which her family reminded her was a lot—she always looked tired, like she hadn't slept in weeks.

After a moment of examining herself and some not-so-good thoughts running through her mind, she decided that a long, hot shower would solve all of her issues. Or at least, that's what she was trying to convince herself of.

But her stomach's growling interrupted that conclusion. She ran her hand over her hair, trying to flatten the mess a bit, not in the mood to hear the shit she knew her brother was going to give about it, and then she walked over to her bedroom door, pulling it open.

She was not ready to begin this day in any way.

The past was the last thing she wanted to relive or think about at the moment, but of course, the universe was against her, and as soon as she walked into the hallway of her family's two-story house, she was met with a china hutch filled with all of her and her brother's accomplishments throughout the years, alongside miscellaneous baby pictures.

She groaned, shielding her eyes from being able to see the annoying memories with her hand, and then she continued her journey towards the stairs. Still, the memories poked at her mind. All of the talent shows, all of the trophies she had won for her—as many described it—"angelic" singing voice, and all of the undeserved praise she had received from others

As she descended the hardwood staircase, her hands no longer covering her eyes, she could smell the delicious breakfast, she assumed, her mother was making. Her mother's soft voice caught her ears, and then she laughed as Aiden, her brother, made some joke that Amber was too tired to listen to.

She turned the corner, trying to run a hand through her hair, but it got stuck midway through the strands. Removing her hand with a small tug, her eyes caught onto her brother, who sat on one of the barstools next to the counter, and then her mother, who was at the stove, cooking scrambled eggs.

"Good morning, Einstein," Aiden teased, letting out a laugh. She could see that he was staring at her hair, but she didn't care.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she muttered, walking past him and pushing his head back as he continued to laugh. She walked over to the coffee pot that already had freshly brewed coffee in it, took a glance at her mother, and sent her a small smile. "Good morning, mom."

"Good morning, sweetie," Robin, her mother, replied with a small smile on her face.

Amber opened the cabinet full of mugs and pulled one out. She poured the steaming coffee into her cup, added the sugar, and went to the fridge to grab the creamer. She splashed a bit of creamer into the mix, then stirred it all together, giving it a beautiful toffee color. Let's just say that she liked a bit of coffee with her creamer and sugar.

She put away the creamer, and that's when her mother had finished making breakfast. Amber stood against the counter, sipping her coffee and letting the caffeine overtake her. She could feel her mother's and brother's eyes on her, but she ignored them. She already knew what they were thinking, and she had no urge to go through the motions of that conversation.

"Amber," her mother began, but was cut off.

"Is breakfast ready?" she asked, her voice soft as she met her mother's bright blue eyes. "Great because I'm starving," she added, not even waiting for an answer. She let an obviously fake smile play on her face as she moved closer to where her mother stood. Three plates sat stacked on the counter. She set her mug down and grabbed one. She began filling her plate once again, ignoring the pair's staring eyes.

After a moment, they gave up on getting her to talk, and they began filling their plates as well. The family of three sat at the breakfast table. The sun shone on them, and the hot summer day began to look oh-so-beautiful.

Amber stared out the big window that was behind where Aiden sat. She could see that the wind was blowing ever-so-slightly, the trees swayed in rhythm, and there were kids outside. Three kids, to be exact: a boy and two girls, were playing in the dancing wind and blinding sunlight. They were laughing and enjoying the morning freshness.

She missed those days—the days that she just enjoyed herself. The days when she didn't let out a sigh every time she woke up and felt the sunlight on her face; the days when she had fun with the ones she loved; the days when she was happy,

"Amber." The soft, angelic sound of her mother's calming voice played in her head again. Amber snapped out of her trance, and she moved her focus to the ones that sat beside her.

She hummed, letting her mother know that she had her attention, but she didn't dare to look at her again. She grabbed her fork from her plate and began moving her food around, her appetite not particularly there anymore.

"Are you excited about today?" Robin questioned her daughter, taking a bite of her eggs.

"Uhm..." She hesitated to answer, despite knowing what she wanted to say. "Yeah, of course," she smiled, meeting her mother's eyes for a split second before glancing at Aiden. "Why wouldn't I be?" That was not the answer she wanted to give, but it was the one she knew wouldn't put a frown on her mother's lips.

"Uh, there's a perfectly good reason as to why you wouldn't be excited about today," Aiden told her, narrowing his eyes in suspicion at his sister's nonchalant attitude.

Amber glared at him, and he rolled his eyes, moving his focus back to his food. "I mean, yeah, I'll admit that it would be better if you were going with us." She faced her mother, letting an almost convincing smile come over her face. "But I'm still excited to return to Cousins."

Her mom let out a breath as she returned the smile. "What about you, Aiden?" she asked her son, who already had a cheesy smile on his face.

"Most definitely—I'm ready to see Belly again," he grinned brightly. "Unlike Ambster, here," he mumbled, almost quiet enough for his sister not to hear.

Rolling her eyes, Amber continued to stare down at her plate. "We both see her all the time, dips— dummy; we go to school with her." Amber had to catch herself before she called him something their mom would definitely not like.

"I know that, but during the summer, things are different," he mocked. "And I have a good feeling about this summer."

I don't, Amber thought.

The three let a beat of silence pass, the only noise coming from their forks lightly clanking against their plates. It wasn't awkward, for the most part; the three were used to a quiet breakfast; after all, they had endured them for years. Though... suppose they could say those years were over.

"Are you both packed?" Robin spoke just before shoveling some more eggs in her mouth.

Amber only nodded in response, chewing on her food.

"Yep," Aiden replied, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Good, because Laurel, Belly, and Steven are going to be here soon," she informed the two teens. "Last time I spoke to Laurel, she said that she was still trying to get Steven out of bed, and Taylor is there with Belly, so they have to take her home." Her gaze rested on Amber, who was ignoring the not-so-subtle nod to her friends, whom she hadn't spoken to in months.

"Okay," Amber mumbled, not meeting her mom's eyes. Instead, she focused outside again as she continued to eat.

The thought of her mom not joining her and Aiden that summer, like she had been forever, was something Amber couldn't wrap her head around. Her first summer back after two years, and she wasn't going to have the comfort of her mom—her best friend? She didn't know if she'd survive.

How was she supposed to survive the summer when he'd moved on so easily? Yes, it had been two years, but was she truly that discardable? Was she truly not worth it in his eyes? Was it really that meaningless? Were they that meaningless?

Her life was shit on the inside and looked perfect on the outside, for the most part. With her parents recently divorced (that being for the better), her friends barely talking to her (or rather, her barely talking to her friends), and her obnoxious brother (who was born that way, receiving the trait from their father), she didn't know if she could handle anything more.

She didn't want to add more fuel to her growing flames of sadness. Her beat-you-down, barely-dragging-yourself-out-of-bed, and hyper-fixating-on-something-to-keep-yourself-present sadness—it just knew that it was going to be too much. 

Tears pecked at Amber's eyes like a hungry crow, but she swallowed them down with a sip of her coffee. And once she was done with her breakfast, she stood up from the table, excused herself, went to the sink, rinsed off the plate, and began making her way to the staircase.

Her mom's voice calling her name caused her to stop in her tracks. Turning around to face the table where the only family she had left sat, she met her mother's soft gaze and smile. "You're going to have fun, darling—I know you will. Don't let the past haunt you and steal your bright smile away."

Those words felt like a knife to Amber's heart. She was trying. At least she was trying.

"Thank you," the messy-haired girl replied, a barely-there smile creeping onto her face. Then she turned and made her way upstairs.

A long shower was just what she needed. So she made her way to her bathroom, closing the door behind her and turning the lock. Her gaze met the mirror. Her reflection stared at her, her hair still messy from her slumber the prior night, and her face worn with tiredness.

Inhaling through her nose, she turned away from the reflection of herself and toward the shower. Pulling the shower curtain open, she leaned to turn on the hot water, switching from the tub faucet to the shower head.

She began stripping off her clothes as she waited for the water to heat to the right temperature. A chill ran down her spine once all of her clothes were discarded on the floor. Running—or at least trying to run—a hand through her knotted hair, she stepped into the shower, pulling the black curtain closed.

The water descending down her body felt wondrous, and her muscles relaxed under the heat. After a moment of just standing under the water, her mind fully clear for once, she grabbed her orange blossom and coconut-scented shampoo, poured some into her hand, and massaged it into her scalp.

She rinsed that out after a moment, then grabbed her conditioner, which consisted of the same scent, and did the same, except this went to her ends. She waited a couple of minutes before going to rinse it out. But just before her head could go under the water, banging on the bathroom door startled her.

"Amber, hurry up!" her brother's annoying voice yelled from the other side of the door. "You're not the only one who needs a shower! I have to smell and look good for all of the beach babes I'm gonna see when we get to Cousins!" he continued, causing Amber to roll her eyes.

You might see 'beach babes,' but they're definitely not going to see you, Amber thought. "I'll be out in a minute, Aiden! Go away!" She shouted back.

She couldn't hear it but was sure he groaned in response, but she didn't care. She and Aiden got along well for the most part, unless he was being a real pain in her ass or being overly obnoxious (which he did on purpose just to piss her off). Being not even a year apart in age made them extremely close from day one, but they were also siblings, which meant they purposely annoyed each other for shits and giggles.

Amber quickly rinsed the conditioner from her hair and moved onto her honey and shea butter body wash. She grabbed her loofah and ran the suds all over her body. And when she felt satisfied with her shower, she rinsed her body, turned off the water, and opened the shower curtain.

Stepping out, her feet came to rest on the soft mat in front of the shower. She grabbed her towel off the towel rack and wrapped it tightly around her body. She gathered her clothes off the floor, then reached to unlock the door.

When she opened it, releasing the hot steam, she didn't see Aiden in the hall, so she quickly walked to her room. She was hoping he would give her enough time to get dressed, brush her teeth, and gather her bath essentials so that she could pack them away into her suitcase.

But, of course, Aiden being Aiden, he rushed into the bathroom once she reached her bedroom door. She quickly turned around when she heard the familiar squeak of the door closing.

"Aiden, can you give me a minute? I need to brush my teeth and get my bath things," she told him.

"No," he replied with a smirk, then shut the door. Amber could hear the door being locked and then the shower running.

I hope your water turns ice cold, she thought. Sending a glare at the door, she hoped he would be able to feel it through the wood. Sighing, she turned back to her room and walked in, closing the door behind her and locking it.

She tossed her dirty clothes into her laundry basket, then made her way to her closet. Her perfectly organized clothes caught her eye. She secured her towel to her body by tucking a corner into the underside of the cotton fabric.

She began swiping through her hanging shirts, trying to find something to wear. The downside to being already packed was that most of the clothes she actually liked were put away, and she didn't feel like digging through her bag to find something. So the remaining clothes in her closet were her only options.

A familiar Cousins shirt caught her attention, its soft fabric brushing against her fingertips. She pushed it back a bit, eyeing the front design that she had studied many times before. COUSINS ROWING, it read in big, bold letters, with a small design in the middle—two rowing oars crossed together over a circle trimmed with leaves and a small bow at the bottom.

She had gotten it from him—one of the many, many ones he had. She didn't know why she had kept it after everything. It and him did not mean anything to her anymore; that's what she always reminded herself of, even though deep down she knew it wasn't and would never be true.

Shaking the thoughts and memories from her head, she pushed the shirt aside, continuing to go through the rest of her wardrobe. Finally, she found a shirt to wear—a cropped, Brooklyn-labeled shirt. "Repping the hometown, I guess," she muttered to no one but herself. The shirt was navy blue in color and said BROOKLYN across the chest, with Est. 1898 and New York in smaller letters underneath.

It was a basic Brooklyn shirt that you could buy pretty much anywhere that sold graphic tees, but she frankly did not care. She grabbed a pair of light denim shorts, a bra, and underwear from her dresser. She dried herself off with her towel, then got dressed.

Amber hoped that Aiden was done with his shower as she slipped on her socks and a pair of high-top navy Converse. He usually didn't take long showers, but he might've stayed in a bit longer this time just to spite her.

She moved toward her door, unlocking it. She pulled it open and peeked out. The bathroom door was still closed, and the sound of the running water was faint. He's still in there? Sighing, she walked back into her room, leaving the door open so that she'd know when he got out.

She grabbed her hairbrush off of her dresser and looked in the mirror as she began to brush her hair. Her hair was wavy but liked to get extremely tangled, so she always opted to brush it when it was wet.

Starting with her ends and working her way up, Amber felt a bit of peace wash over her. Her thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind as she brushed through the knots caused by her not-so-elegant sleeping and her shower. As she worked through each and every knot, she almost forgot about the impending doom that is returning to Cousins after swearing it off for two years.

She would be lying if she said that she wasn't curious to return to the town she loved and knew all too well. Cousins Beach was part of her—it always would be. It was where her happiest memories were made, but there were also bad ones. It was where her family vacationed every summer; it was where she had her first kiss, went on her first date, and had her first boyfriend. It was forever special to her, and she was curious as to how it had changed—how they all had changed. How he had changed.

But she also had a knot of nerves in the pit of her stomach that made her feel like she would be seeing her breakfast for a second time that morning. She wasn't ready. She didn't know if she would ever be, but she knew she had to go. She had to face Cousins again. She had to face Jeremiah, Susannah, Belly, Laurel, and Steven again. And Taylor when she came for her annual weekend visit.

Amber wondered if she still did that. Well, of course she did. Why wouldn't she? Her and Belly were still as thick as thieves the last time she had seen them. They had always been as thick as thieves—probably always would be.

The sound of the bathroom door opening snapped Amber back into reality, and she realized that she was brushing through perfect, detangled hair. She looked out her door, towards the bathroom, and saw Aiden rushing out. He was shivering with a towel wrapped around his waist, and a gleam of smugness overcame Amber.

"Why are you shivering?" she asked, setting her brush down.

Aiden stopped in his tracks, glaring at her. "My water turned freezing cold, thanks to you and your abnormally long showers," he replied, his voice a bit shaky.

"Thanks to me?" She scoffed, walking towards her door. "Maybe if you would've waited more than two seconds, you would've had more hot water, smartass," she continued, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and rushed to his room. The door closed with a very apparent slam, which Amber winced at—their mom hated when they slammed doors.

She stood in the hall, waiting to hear her mom's voice calling up the stairs to ask who slammed the door, but nothing came. And after another beat of silence, Amber hummed in surprise and made her way back into the bathroom, ready to brush her teeth and gather the rest of her things.

━━━━━

The sound of a car honking right outside her house caught her attention as she laid on her bed—her feet dangling off it so her shoes wouldn't dirty up her comforter—rereading one of her all-time favorite books, A Good Girl's Guide to Murder. She quickly grabbed her bookmark, placing it in the book to keep her spot, and then she closed the book. Pip, you're gonna have to wait.

She got up from her bed, set her book down in her place, and made her way to her window. She pulled back the curtains and looked down to her driveway, only to see the familiar car parked beside her mother's. Laurel, Steven, and Belly were finally there. Dread mixed with excitement filled her stomach, causing it to ache even more.

Her mouth went dry, and she rubbed her stomach, trying to rid herself of the pain. She watched as the three climbed out of their car and began making their way to the front door. Amber watched Belly closely—the two hadn't talked in months, and it was entirely Amber's fault. She was the one to distance herself first.

It was like the Conklin girl she had grown up with could feel her eyes because Belly looked up at Amber's window. The blonde watched as she squinted her eyes, the bright sun no doubt shining in them, and then a small smile appeared on her face as she sent Amber a friendly wave.

Amber returned the smile and wave, then watched as Belly continued towards the front door. She pulled her curtains closed, then began searching around her room, making sure she had everything she was going to need. And once she was satisfied with her packing abilities, she grabbed her book and phone off her bed, put them in her tote bag, and then grabbed the handle of her suitcase.

Making her way to her bedroom door, she glanced around her room once more as she slung the straps of the tote bag on her shoulder. It was time, and she didn't know if she was ready. Inhaling deeply through her nose and then out through her mouth, she closed her bedroom door.

Aiden was exiting his room at the same time, and when the two's eyes locked onto one another, they knew exactly what the other was thinking. Their eyes narrowed for a split second, then they took off towards the stairs. A sense of familiarity washed over Amber—she and Aiden had done this every year when they were leaving for Cousins; it was sort of a tradition, and Amber always won.

The sound of their shoe-covered feet racing down each step was heard so loudly. Their mother was definitely going to have a few words with them, just like always. But in just a flash, their childishness got the better of them, and Amber felt the hardness of Aiden's foot in front of hers as they reached about six steps from the bottom.

Amber's foot caught on Aiden, causing her to trip, and she began tumbling down the last steps as he quickly caught himself by gripping onto the railing. She toppled onto the hardwood floor, her arm breaking her fall as her suitcase landed beside her.

"Ow," she groaned. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she rolled over onto her back, clutching her wrist. She couldn't see him, but Aiden's eyes went wide, and he rushed to her side. His hand came to her wrist, causing her gaze to fall on him.

Her face was scrunched in pain as her mother and the Conklins rushed to the scene. Aiden's, as well as everyone else's, face was stricken with panic.

She began trying to stifle her laugh, but Aiden noticed, and his eyes narrowed. She sent him a cheesy, I-got-ya smile, letting him know that she wasn't truly hurt. "You little bitch, I was actually worried." He hit her arm, then stood up from the ground.

"Aiden, mind your mouth," his mother reminded him, her brows furrowing at his language.

"Sorry," he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I still won," Amber taunted, letting her wrist go but still lying on the floor. She began laughing, causing Aiden to glare at her even harder.

"Yeah, by falling down the stairs," he informed her, just in case she had forgotten that little detail. "I wouldn't call that winning, because now you have a bum wrist," he added.

"No, my wrist is completely fine," she replied, a teasing smile on her face. "I won, I won, I won," she repeated in a sing-song tone.

"We get it," Aiden sighed, rolling his eyes.

Another laugh was heard from Amber. Movement from beside her caught her attention, and her blue eyes landed on the dazzling brown ones of Steven. A small smile planted itself on his freckled face as he picked up her suitcase. "Hi, Even Steven," she smiled, sitting up.

"Hi, Ambster Hamster," he replied, standing up straight as he set her suitcase right side up. "I hope you didn't have anything of value in there," he added, the sweet smile still on his face. He stuck his hand out for her, letting her take it as he helped her up.

Once her feet were flat on the ground once more, she brushed off her clothes, though she wasn't sure it was necessary—she had cleaned the floor the day before. "Nope," she answered, popping the p.

Her eyes moved from the boy and onto everyone else in the room. Amber took in the expressions on each of their faces. Her mother looked pissed, but there was a hint of worry hidden in her brow. Laurel's brows were slightly raised, a bit of shock still resting in her features. And Belly had a matching amused look with her brother; both of them were used to Amber and Aiden's antics.

"What were you two thinking?" Robin finally asked, stepping forward. "Either one of you or both could've been seriously injured," she added, her soft voice coated with worry like chocolate on a strawberry.

"Sorry, momma," Amber and Aiden replied in unison. Their expression matched that of a kid who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar after they were specifically told no cookies until dinner.

"Just don't do it again, okay?"

Amber and Aiden shot knowing glares at one another. They didn't even have to say anything to know what the other was thinking. They were most definitely going to do it again—a rematch—this time with no accidental trippings.

They looked back at their mother, her worried eyes still on them. No response was given to her, and she let out a sigh. "Lord, help me," she muttered to herself, squeezing her eyes closed.

━━━━━

It was a couple of hours into the car ride to Cousins. Amber's head rested on Aiden's shoulder. They sat in the back seat with Laurel, and Belly and Steven were in the front—Steven driving, of course.

It would be surprising to most to discover that Aiden didn't mind his sister leaning on his shoulder, seeing as though their antics rivaled, but truly, they did get along. The fighting and annoying the living shit out of one another was just their way of showing their siblingly love, and the ones without siblings didn't understand that.

This car ride wasn't the first time Amber had laid her head on his shoulder. She hated being alone, especially when going through a very depressing breakup with the boy she was madly in love with. So Aiden, being the wonderful brother he was, sat in the living room with his mother and sister and suffered through cheesy, really bad rom-coms and Christmas movies just to make Amber feel better.

And often, during those times, Amber would fall asleep, not even making it through the movie, and her head would fall on his shoulder as her legs rested in her mom's lap. And sound asleep she would be—the tears would dry, and the memories would be temporarily gone. She would be happy for a bit, and that's all Aiden wanted for her.

She wasn't asleep this time, though, and he knew worries flooded her mind, so he didn't bother her.

Amber had her AirPods in, listening to her 'favorites' playlist, which consisted of every genre to ever exist—she had a seriously diverse music taste, and she was extremely proud of that. As of then, Lady Evil by Black Sabbath was playing. It wasn't really a summery song, but she didn't really care.

The song was coming to an end as Amber stared out the front windshield at the bright and wondrous blue sky. As the song faded out and she waited for the next one, she let out a yawn. But when the familiar beat of the song that she never wanted to hear again came through her headphones, she froze.

Rebel Sun by Beach Weather was playing. And before Nick Santino could even mutter the words "let me tell a story about the queen of Brooklyn," Amber double-tapped her right AirPod, switching to the next song.

Wishful Thinking by Gracie Abrams cut through the beat of that song, and she relaxed once more. Much better, she thought. She listened to the song all the way through, and her playlist continued with its shuffle.

But eventually, all good things must come to an end. Her right AirPod beeped, alerting her that it had died. Sighing, she mentally cursed herself for not fully letting her AirPods fully charge before using them as she removed them from her ears and put them back into their case.

The car ride was silent for another ten or fifteen minutes, until Belly ultimately got bored and connected her phone to the aux. "What song should I play?" Belly asked, looking at her phone as she scrolled through her playlist.

No one answered, causing her to look up at all of them with a bored look. "You all are no help," she sighed, her eyes landing on Amber, who was slowly falling asleep due to the movement of the car and how relaxed she was. "Any ideas, Am?" Belly looked at the girl, handing her the unlocked phone.

Amber took it and began looking through the playlist. She hadn't had any ideas, but it never hurt to look. She scrolled through Belly's playlist, looking at each song title—there were some good options, but none quite caught her attention enough.

So, she just chose a random song—one that she was sure Belly would appreciate. The familiar sound of Can't Do Better by Kim Petras played faintly through the speakers, causing the girl in front to lean forward to twist the volume knob. The music subtly grew louder. Amber handed Belly back her phone, watching the girl begin to sing.

Belly's singing grew louder, causing a smile to break out on Amber's face as she watched the girl in amusement. Laurel and Aiden both had smiles on their faces as well, and as Amber took a glance at Steven, she could see him trying to contain his amused look.

Belly turned to Amber, still singing, and gestured with her hand for the girl to join her. And after a beat of hesitance, the sound of the girls singing sounded throughout the car. Both girls were looking at one another, entirely enjoying themselves and their slightly off-pitch singing.

And after a moment of loud singing, Laurel cut through the noise with her voice. "Uh, can you guys turn it down a little, please?" she asked, leaning forward a bit, causing Amber and Belly to stop singing.

"Yes, please," Steven mumbled, shaking his head as he reached for the volume knob and did as his mom asked.

Amber leaned back in her seat, running her hand through her hair, which somehow had tangles in it again. What the hell? She let out a sigh, pulled her fingers from the strands, and focused her attention on Laurel.

"Thank you." Laurel paused for a moment, taking a breath before she continued. "I want you to be better about helping out this summer," she began, focusing on her children. "Like, don't just leave your dishes in the sink; load them into the dishwasher—and not just your dishes either, Steven," she explained, a bored look hinting in her expression as she said the last part.

Amber and Aiden gave each other a knowing look. They knew what Laurel was talking about; nobody ever did their dishes, and when they were confronted about it, they denied that they were theirs. The two were raised to clean up after themselves, no matter how comfortable they were wherever they were, so they usually weren't theirs, but still, sometimes even they did it.

"What? But I—" Steven protested but was cut off.

"I want you to be good houseguests," she added.

"Mom, Susannah has people who clean, doesn't she?" Steven asked, shooting a quick glance back at her through the rearview mirror, and then his eyes were back on the road. The next thing he knew was that he was receiving a smack on the back of the head from the woman sitting behind him. "Ow," he dramatically dragged out. "Alright, alright, sorry."

Amber stifled a laugh, not wanting to get dragged into the family discussion but finding amusement in Steven's dramatics.

Laurel paused. "Just be considerate and act like I raised you right." Laurel just wanted an easy summer—there was too much going on in each of their lives for them not to have an easy summer. She wanted to relax, be able to write for her book, and enjoy her time back in Cousins with her best friend and the four other teenagers that she considered like her own kids. "Steven, that means don't stay out too late," she added.

"Mom, I'm too old for a curfew," he groaned.

Belly quickly turned around to face her mother. "Wait, what about me?" she asked, joining in on the conversation. "I don't have a curfew either, right?"

Steven began laughing, causing his sister to narrow her eyes at him. "What do you need a curfew for? You don't go anywhere." He tried to stifle his laugh, feeling her annoyed gaze on him, but failed miserably.

"Don't be a jackass, Steven," Laurel told him.

"Yeah, don't be a jackass, Steven," Amber teased.

"What?" he muttered, taking a small offense to being called a jackass.

"Belly, we'll talk about it when something comes up," the older woman explained, her eyes meeting her daughter's. 

"What about you, Amber? Do you have a curfew?" Belly questioned the blonde as she turned to her and completely disregarded Aiden, who was looking at her with a swooning look. If pupils could be heart-shaped, his most definitely would be.

"Uh, yeah..." Amber muttered. "It's midnight for me and Aiden, but neither of us go out, so it really doesn't matter," she explained with an awkward smile. Please don't try to use me as a way to get out of having a curfew.

"Yeah, the most spontaneous thing we do is watch rom-coms that are really bad, which makes them really good in a way." Aiden chuckled, a small smile on his still-boyish face.

Not finding humor in his attempt at a joke, Belly let out an exaggerated groan and faced forward again. "That doesn't help me," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked out the passenger window.

"Sorry," they mumbled.

After a moment of nothing but silence, with only the faint sound of the car driving on the road being heard, Amber grabbed her AirPods out of her bag and put them in her ears. She didn't hear the rest of the conversation after that. Her music was too loud as she stared out the window, looking at the place and the land they passed as they drove.

━━━━━

Coming to a stop at the familiar convenience store, Steven cut off the engine, popped open the door to the gas tank, and got out. Laurel, Belly, and Amber followed as Aiden stayed in the car. The three walked to the door of the store as Steven began getting gas.

The bell chimed as Laurel pushed the door open and walked in, the girls following in her steps. The woman rushed off to the restroom as Belly and Amber made their way over to the snacks. Going to the chips, she grabbed some Fuego Takis for herself, and Belly grabbed some Cheetos and Sour Patch Kids. She then found a bag of beef jerky for Aiden.

The two girls made their way to the drink coolers. Amber grabbed herself a Mountain Dew and a Sprite for Aiden. She made her way back to the brunette, seeing that she had already opened her bag of Cheetos and was shoveling some in her mouth, almost dropping one on the ground.

The two girls' eyes met after Belly caught the escaping puff. A smile broke onto Amber's face, which Belly matched. The sound of stifled laughter fell between them. But it didn't last long. "Hey," the cashier said, interrupting their laughter.

The teens turned to him. Amber's eyes narrowed—he was most definitely older than them, not by much, but definitely older. The small smile that rested on his lips sent chills down Amber's spine, and not in a good way.

Neither Amber nor Belly replied. Instead, Belly turned to the drink cooler behind her, grabbing herself a Cherry Coke. Amber just stood beside her, her narrowed eyes never leaving the twenty-something-year-old man standing behind the counter.

"Are you new this summer?" he asked, watching as the girls walked up to the counter and set their things down.

"Uh, us...?" Belly asked, awkwardly looking between him and Amber, who was looking at him with suspicion. "N-No," she breathed out with a shy chuckle.

"Really?" he hummed, beginning to scan the items, his eyes not leaving Belly's. "I thought I knew every pretty girl in Cousins." He could tell they were underage, right? They were clearly underage. "Coming to the bonfire tonight?" he paused before adding, "First of the season."

"Um, maybe," Belly said, cutting Amber off from even thinking of uttering a word.

The blonde's eyes were still narrowed, looking between the two in front of her, and she was sure if she continued that for much longer, she would pop a blood vessel, so she relaxed her face as best as she could.

Belly could tell what her best friend was going to say just by looking at her, but she ignored it.

Amber knew that there was absolutely no way that the moms would let two young teenagers go to a bonfire where—surely—there was going to be drinking, smoking, and other activities going on. And even if they decided, by a miracle from God, that they were going to, the boys—Jeremiah, Steven, Conrad, hell, even Aiden—wouldn't let them go. It's just how it was—everyone controlling Belly and Amber's every move.

"Come—I'll introduce you to some friends," the guy added. Amber looked at his name tag—Jumper, what an unusual name, she thought.

"Maybe we will," Belly said, handing him the card with a smile on her face.

And when Amber went to say, No, we won't, Laurel's voice interrupted her.

"After we get settled, do you want to go to Whales of a Tale with me so I can pre-sign stock before the signing tomorrow night?" The woman asked her daughter as she walked up to the counter, standing behind the girls.

"Uh..." Belly hesitated to answer.

"Remember how you used to sit on my lap when I did signings there?" Laurel smiled at her daughter, her hand running along Belly's thick ponytail. "You insisted on drawing a little whale on every book I signed." The memory was fresh in the woman's mind, and she didn't even notice the slight flush on her daughter's cheeks or the small smile on Amber's face.

"No, I—" Belly paused, feeling embarrassment creeping up the back of her neck. "I don't remember that."

The smile left Amber's face. It made her a bit sad that Belly was intentionally disregarding the memory to seem 'cool' around a guy a little less than twice her age. Her blue eyes landed on the cashier as he went to hand Belly the card back, and she sent him a glare, which he didn't pay attention to.

"I'll take that, thank you." Laurel smiled, snatching the card from his hand before her daughter could reach it. "I'll make you a deal." She turned to Belly once more as the girls grabbed the bags, then began walking toward the door. "I'll let you pick out tonight's dessert if you come with me and keep me company."

"I'll see you later." Jumper smirked at the girls—at Belly, mostly.

"What's later?" Laurel's brows furrowed, confusion striking her expression and tone.

"Nothing," Belly quickly responded.

Amber shook her head, rolling her eyes, as Laurel pushed open the door. When they reached the car, they saw that Steven and Aiden were waiting—Aiden still in the car, Steven standing outside the driver's door.

They got back into the car, and Amber opened the bag she had, handing Aiden his beef jerky and Sprite, then taking her Takis and Mountain Dew out.

As she looked up, her focus setting on the movement in front of her, she watched as Belly took out her ponytail, letting her thick, black hair flow down her back. She wondered if the girl was taking her hair down since her mom ran her hand all over it—she wondered if embarrassment from the small act in front of a boy was driving her actions.

It wasn't that big of a deal, but something dug in the pit of Amber's stomach as she continued to examine Belly as she flattened down her hair so that it was pen-straight—the opposite of Amber's untamable blonde mess that she tried to pass off as hair.

Finally, Steven got back into the car. And the sound of the engine starting roared in their ears. And so the journey continued. Even if it was the most nerve-racking thing Amber had ever experienced, she was still excited to be back there—she did miss Cousins.

She missed the smell of the salt air, the soft breeze, the ocean, surfing, swimming, having fun, and being happy.

Taking her attention away from the brunette sitting in front of her, she put it back on looking out the window. Her AirPods found their way back into her ears, the music picking up where it left off, and the familiar feeling engulfed her.

The glorious blue ocean was in sight as her matching eyes studied it. The window was slightly rolled down, and the salt air assaulted her nose—but once she got used to it, she realized that it was fresh, calming, and everything that she remembered.

Her muscles relaxed, and she felt good. They were so close to the beach house, maybe about thirty minutes or so, and she couldn't wait.

Nothing could ever compare to the last bit of the drive to your final destination. The time when you got to take it all in, reminisce about all of your summer plans, and figure out what you were going to do for the next few months—that was the time that you got to relive your fondest memories of prior vacations, the ones that you made with the people you loved. Nothing would ever top that moment when you felt nothing but peace.

If only that moment had lasted a little bit longer for her.

━━━━━

As the car came to a stop in front of the beach house, Amber's stomach wrenched, and she wondered if eating those Takis and drinking Mountain Dew was the best idea. Her mouth ran dry, and her palms began to sweat. Why was she so nervous? They were her family.

Don't let the memories of the past haunt you and steal your bright smile. Her mother's words climbed their way into her thoughts, and she felt some calmness wash over her. Not a lot, but some was better than nothing.

"Remember the plan," Belly began, turning to Amber and Aiden. A bright smile rested on the boy's face, while his sister's was twisted with worry that she was trying so desperately to hide. "They don't know you two are here—this," she gestured between the two, "is a surprise for all of them." A smile was on her face as well, her eyes flickering between the two.

Then she turned to her brother and nodded. Steven honked the horn, alerting the house that they had arrived.

Is it too late to turn around and go home?

Laurel opened her door, getting out of the car, as Jeremiah came running out the front door. He quickly ran over to the woman, wrapping her in a tight hug. While he was distracted for a moment, Aiden and Amber snuck out of the car, and Belly and Steven walked over to Jeremiah to further distract him.

The Pearl siblings bent down behind the open door, blocked by it and Belly. Amber didn't really know why they were doing this—it was Belly and Steven's idea. "This is stupid," she whispered, mostly to herself but loud enough for Aiden to hear. His gaze fell on her, his brows slightly furrowed. She didn't say anything else, letting his confusion rest.

"We've got a surprise for you, Jere." Belly smiled.

He placed his hand on his chest, just over his heart, and a signature Jeremiah Fisher smile shone on his lips. "A gift? For me?" he asked, endearment filling his tone. "You shouldn't have."

"Well, actually, it's for you, Connie, and Susannah," Laurel corrected, a tight-lipped smile on her face.

He gave her a confused look, his eyes going between the three Conklins. Belly moved out of the way, and the two hiding jumped up. But as Aiden lifted his arms to match Amber's, his hand hit her right in the face. She groaned, but before she could slap him upside the head in retaliation, Jeremiah had his arms wrapped around her tight in a hug.

Amber felt immediate comfort as he lifted her up with his arms tightly around her waist. She missed him—Jeremiah, that is—she missed Jeremiah. But as he set her down, that comfort somewhat went away. His blue eyes stared into hers as a bright, almost-charming smile played on his lips.

"Look at you two, coming back all grown up!" he smiled, looking between Belly and Amber. And when his gaze fell on Aiden, he couldn't believe his eyes. It was no secret that Aiden had bulked up over the past year, which was impressive seeing as though he was only fifteen. "And you?" he paused, his eyes trailing over Aiden. "Have you been working out?" A teasing tone littered his words, and Aiden nodded with a smug smirk.

"Rebel...?"

Amber froze where she stood, the smile falling off her face in an instant. Chills ran down her spine at the sound of that voice—his voice. That nickname. Why did that stupid nickname still hold a place in her heart? Especially when coming from his mouth. The memories of the summer she turned fourteen flooded her mind, but she beat them down and buried them as quickly as they came.

She didn't want to turn around, but she knew she'd have to face him eventually, so she did. The sight of him caused her breathing to grow faster. He looked so different, yet the same.

He'd grown taller, his face was more defined, he no longer wore his glasses, and he seemed different than the last time she saw him—granted, the last time she saw him, her vision was blurry with tears, but still, he was different.

"Uh, Jere, Aiden, I think Steven wants us over there; we should go." Belly awkwardly mumbled to the two boys, throwing her thumb over her shoulder and gesturing to her brother.

"Yeah, yeah, good idea," Jeremiah muttered just before the three walked—no, more like sprinted—to where Steven stood with Laurel and Susannah.

Amber didn't even realize that they had walked away because her eyes stayed on Conrad, who looked as if he had seen a ghost. She felt her face get hot as he slowly walked towards her. She hated that he still had an effect on her and that he could still make her flustered with just a look.

To say Conrad was shocked to see Amber would be an understatement. She looked different—she looked good. She was still the same height she had been the last time he saw her, but her eyes were shining a brighter blue, and her body had gotten more mature, but that's not what he was focusing on—she looked like an angel.

Both of their breaths were caught in their throats, and they didn't pay attention to the six pairs of curious eyes on them; they were only focused on each other. Amber felt like she was drowning, like she was being tackled by waves and her lungs were filling with the salt water—her memories and feelings were drowning her.

No matter how much air she sucked into her lungs, she couldn't breathe. She didn't know what to say, so the first thing that came to her mind was what she went with. "No more glasses?" she asked. Great way to start a conversation.

"Contacts." The short and brief answer was to be expected, but still, things grew more awkward. They used to be able to talk to each other about everything—where did that go? "What are you doing here?" His expression was flat, making it hard for Amber to discern what he was thinking.

"I come here every year," she retorted. Well, not every year.

"You didn't last year," he reminded her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, Conrad, I had a lot going on," she replied, her eyes slightly narrowing. Still a fucking asshole, I see, she thought.

He went quiet for a moment—but it wasn't just him; she was quiet too, and so were the six others who were still staring at them. Amber shot a glance back at them, causing them to break their gazes, pretending as if they weren't eavesdropping.

It took him a second to respond, his gaze burning into her skin. She didn't meet his eyes. "Yeah, Belly told me about your parents' divorce," he said. "I'm sorry, Rebel."

Her eyes shot up when she heard the nickname again. "I'm not—and don't call me that."

Again with the silence, her eyes stared into his. They didn't have to speak for the other to know that they didn't want to be having this conversation. But, Conrad being Conrad, he had to tease Amber about at least one thing.

"Your hair is still as messy as ever," he told her, a smirk making its way to his face. He lifted his hand to meet the top of her head, and before he could rustle her hair to make it even more messy, her hand caught his hand and brought it down and away from her hair.

Their hands were holding each other's, but it was only for a second because she quickly realized and pulled hers away. "Don't touch my hair either," she told him.

"Well, what can I do?" He took a step forward, causing her to take a step back.

"Uh—leave me alone, don't talk to me, and stay out of my way." She sent him a smile dripping with sarcasm, the water finally releasing from her lungs. And before he could say anything else, she walked away, making sure to bump his shoulder as she went to the house.

"Hi, Susannah," she greeted as she walked past the woman who still stood with the others.

"Hi, sweetie," Susannah replied with a sweet smile, watching as Amber made her way to the house.

She would get her bags later. She couldn't be out there anymore, not with him there and everyone's eyes on them. She knew coming back to Cousins was a mistake. She couldn't help it; she felt like crying—she felt pathetic. If that small interaction was enough to make her cry, how was she going to survive the whole summer? She wasn't sure, but what she was sure of was that she was fucking doomed.

"I'll get your bags, Am," Aiden called out as she walked into the house.

She didn't respond because she didn't hear him over her racing thoughts fighting around in her skull. The memories of the house came running back to her when she walked in, her eyes catching on to the familiar decorations.

She didn't waste any time going to her room. The good times were not something she wanted to reminisce about, and she sure as hell didn't want to remember the bad ones.

Going up the stairs, her hand ran along the railing, feeling the smooth wood on her skin. She walked to her door and twisted the knob, pushing the door open. The familiar room came into view. The blue flower wallpaper caught her eye, seeing as though it was everywhere.

The room was clean, the bed freshly made, the furniture dusted—everything was just as she remembered. And Belly's words echoed in her head: They don't know that you two are here. If Susannah didn't know, then why did she clean the room and make the bed?

Amber didn't ponder the thought for too long because a particular chocolate brown bear with a red bowtie that sat on her bed caught her attention. It was the one her father had given her. She hadn't seen it since she left because she swore that it would always stay there.

She walked over to her bed, running her hand along the powder blue comforter, then picked up the bear. "Hello, Mr. Chocolate Muffin. It's nice to see you again." She was five when she got the bear—Mr. Chocolate Muffin was the best she could come up with.

Chanting and screaming interrupted her thoughts. Curiosity piqued, she placed Mr. Chocolate Muffin in his proper spot on her bed and walked over to the window—the one with the best view of the backyard, including the pool, in which she and Belly had spent many nights swimming and laughing.

"Belly-flop! Belly-flop!" was all she heard as she stopped in front of the window. Drawing back the curtains, she saw Conrad, Jeremiah, and Steven carrying Belly over to the pool. Ah, yes, the annual belly-flop. Amber smiled at the sight. She enjoyed seeing them happy.

A knock on her already open door caused her to turn around, seeing Aiden walk in with her bags. "I got your bags," he stated, pulling her suitcase behind him with her tote bag on his shoulder, but his voice was cut short when he saw the tears on Amber's cheeks. "Why are you crying?" Concern filled his expression as he set her bags down and walked over to her.

"What?" she mumbled. "I'm not." She wiped her face, feeling the tears. She didn't realize that she was crying. She didn't know why she was crying. It didn't matter. "I'm fine. Thank you for getting my bags," she said with a barely-there smile.

"Amber..."

"I'm fine, really," she told him, gently pushing him towards her door. "Go enjoy catching up with everyone. I'll be down there later." He didn't budge once they reached the open door, but when she gave him a knowing look, he sighed.

Reluctantly, he left her room, and she closed the door. Left with nothing but to doubt whether coming back to Cousins was a good idea, she came to the conclusion that it was not.

━━━━━

After sitting in her room for a couple of hours and doing absolutely nothing, Amber decided that taking a walk on the beach to clear her head was her best option. She was still in her clothes from earlier, but now her shoes and socks were off her feet, and she carried them in her hand.

The soft breeze blew through her hair and felt wondrous on her skin. The salty air ran through her nose, clearing her sinuses. She felt alive again. She was in her graceland—her place of peace, the area she grew up in over the already-passed summers.

She couldn't make up her mind whether she was glad to be back in Cousins or not. It had only been a couple of hours, and one second (talking to Conrad), she wanted to be home, and the next (walking on the beach), she was glad to be there.

Her name was called, causing her to stop in her tracks and face the person calling her. Jeremiah was jogging towards her; his tall, lean figure showed, and his bright blue eyes were fixed on her.

"Hey," she smiled, as he came up beside her.

"Hi," he replied with a smile, a bit out of breath and now walking beside her.

For a brief moment, neither of them said anything; only the sound of the ocean waves echoing through the fresh, salt air was heard. The crashing waves landed on the wet sand and slowly crawled their way to the two teens' feet, attempting to grab them, but they were too slow, and the water was dragged back to the ocean.

"So..." Jeremiah began but quickly quieted down, looking for the right words to use. Amber glanced over at the boy, who, for some reason unknown to her, looked incredibly uncomfortable. She furrowed her brows as he began speaking again. "Uhm, so are you okay?" he asked, rushing the words out.

"Yeah," she dragged out, "why wouldn't I be?" Her eyes moved away from his face to the sight in front of them. The bright sky shone in her eyes, and the sound of the crashing waves caught in her ears, sending a feeling of peace through her body.

"Uh, I mean, I just thought I'd check in on you," he began, scratching the back of his neck. "I, uh...never got to before you left, and then you never answered my calls after that," he explained, his eyes not falling from her face.

Her eyes closed, hearing his words. She felt bad for how she treated everyone after everything. It wasn't their fault, but still, she had decided to take her sadness and anger out on them by ignoring them. And that was completely unfair.

"I'm so sorry about that, Jere. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, and I was upset and angry, which isn't an excuse," she told him, sending him a sheepish smile. "I barely even talked to Aiden and my mom about it all—we watched movies together, and they were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, but besides that, I shut them out."

"It's okay, Am. First heartbreaks are hard; I get it. Just know that I'm always here for you." He smiled down at her, putting his arm around her shoulder. "How is your mom, by the way?" he asked, pulling her into his side. His eyes left her, moving to the sight in front of them as hers did the same.

"She's good," she answered, leaning into him.

"That's good."

Then there was silence again. They were just enjoying each other's presence. But, of course, silence only lasted so long—they heard someone call Jeremiah's name. Both of them recognized that voice—that oh-so-annoying voice.

Their suspicions were confirmed when they turned and saw the older Fisher boy walking towards them. Jeremiah still had his arm around Amber's shoulder, and Conrad noticed that. His eyes fell on the sight, causing Jeremiah to remove his arm from Amber's shoulder and walk closer to his brother.

"Yeah, Conrad?" he asked.

"Can I talk to you?" Conrad raised his brows slightly, his hands finding their way into his shorts pockets.

Jeremiah nodded. "Sure."

"Uh, I think I'm going to unpack," Amber said, even though it wasn't necessary. "See you later, Jere," she added, sending the curly-haired boy a tight-lipped smile and slowly walking away from the boys.

"See you later, Pearly," he smiled.

Jeremiah didn't notice the discomfort she had on her face due to that nickname, but Conrad did. And he definitely didn't notice the look Conrad was giving him due to his use of it, but Amber did.

Ignoring it, she turned and went in the direction of the beach house. And when she looked back to the two boys, she saw that they looked to be in a heated conversation, which made her curious as to what they were talking about. But, alas, she was too far away to hear anything of interest.

But her curiosity was cut short when she felt her body collide with someone else's. Quickly, she faced the person, only to see a blonde-haired girl with big brown eyes that were wide as she stared at her.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry," Amber told her as she studied her to make sure she wasn't hurt. The girl's hair was long like Amber's, but it was many shades lighter and a hell of a lot less messy. She wore a pale pink shirt and a white skirt, and she had some white Air Force Ones in her hand.

"It's quite alright—I wasn't paying attention, and I'm guessing you weren't either." The other girl smiled, her body and expression relaxing.

"No, I wasn't," Amber awkwardly laughed.

It was silent for a second—sort of awkward. What do you say to someone you quite literally just ran into when you don't even know who they are? Amber's face flushed as the girl continued to stare at her, no doubt studying her like she had.

The lighter-blonde-haired girl cleared her throat. She lifted her hand, gesturing behind Amber. "Uh, okay, I need to go."

"Yeah, me too," Amber breathed out, glad the moment was over.

And with that, the two girls went their separate ways. Amber continued to the house, and the other girl went to God knows where. The moment pegged at both of their minds, but they tried to ignore it.

That summer, everyone was in for some chaos, but neither girl realized that they would be going through it together. That they would be knitted together in a tight group that would be the talk of all the teens in Cousins.

It was just a matter of time before their worlds collided (more than they already had).

━━━━━

━━━━ ella's speaking !
i rewrote this again—this is like the fourth time 😻

this took me MONTHS to finish (i started it months ago, then didn't touch it again until yesterday)

an 11K+ word count... help

i got lazy with the editing, so there might be some mistakes lmfao, but n e ways, i really hoped you enjoyed !!

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━ rebel sun,
© -LOSTGARDENS,   aug 2023

word count: 11010 written: 8.5.23 published: 8.6.23