The blue skies were covered up by stormy grey clouds. Thunder rumbled in the distance, but it didn't compare to the thundering that was heard when the bomb, that destroyed the building we were currently rummaging through, went off.

I'm not exactly sure what we were looking for. We were grasping on straws, wishing for a miracle that Max had survived that explosion. We just kept searching. We flipped over boulders of concrete, we dug through concrete and steel.

None of us had stopped crying since it happened. My nose was completely blocked and I kept breathing dust into the lungs, making me cough uncontrollably. There was a lack of oxygen around me and I felt like I was hyperventilating. All of our fingers were bloodied but we paid no heed.

Officials showed up eventually and had to tear us away from the mass of rubble. They coaxed us into a limo and drove us to the usual hospital in Sector 3. No one said anything the entire ride. I kept my focus on my bloody fingers. Guilt built up in my chest.

This was all my fault.

I clenched my fingers into a fist and my shoulder wracked with silent sobs. Vanessa wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. By the time we had got to the hospital, my tears have stopped but my mind was dulled once again.

I followed the others into the hospital mindlessly and did as I was asked without any complaint. We were given a room each in the hospital even though we weren't that injured. I sat on my bed staring at my now bandaged fingers. They said something along the lines of taking care of us while they find another house for us and figure some things out.

The door to my room slammed open and someone came running in. The person stopped by my bed and leaned against their knees breathing heavily. I glanced over before returning my gaze to my fingers. It was Christopher.

"I heard about..." he started but trailed off. I could feel his eyes searching my face for clues and information. I shadowed my eyes with my fringe and nodded in the slightest way. I heard his breath hitch before he dropped down to sit on the bed as well beside me.

I felt myself shaking again as tears threatened to fall back out. I didn't want to cry. Not in front of Christopher.

Without warning, Christopher grabbed onto my shoulders, turned me and pulled me into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. I froze at his movements. "I may not have known them as long as you have," he started to speak in a quiet voice, "but I know they were amazing people. People who would have done anything for the ones that they love. And, knowing them, they wouldn't want the people they love to cry over them. But it's okay to cry. Cry out all your tears now and then look to the future. They may have left the world but they still live on in our hearts."

Tears had already begun to snake down my cheeks before he had even finished speaking. My hands grabbed a fistful of his shirt as my body shook from my sobs. Christopher's arms wrapped around me tighter. For the first time since my dad had begun to abuse me, my cries were audible.

"You're a strong girl, Amelia," Christopher continues, his voice slightly drowned out by my sobs, "but even you deserve days when you can let yourself be weak."

I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up in the bed, the blanket tucked under my chin. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and stretched, testing out different areas of my body to see which part still ached. My injuries were mainly minor cuts and small bruises, but there were sections on my back and chest that were covered with giant, purple bruises. I leaned back against the headboard, scenes from yesterday flashing into my mind. I closed my breath and took in a shaky breath.

It was my fault that Cossette and Max had died. I had broken my promise with Cossette and I couldn't save Max either. But I can't just sit around and mope. I won't let something like this happen again. And to do that, I need to get stronger.

It was the day of the combined funeral for both Cossette and Max. Cossette, on normal circumstances, wouldn't have had a burial ceremony in the first place. However, we had insisted that she be buried the same way that Syndicate members and honored members of society are buried.

I shed a few more tears with the remaining members of the Syndicate during the funeral. But I promised myself, as well as Max and Cossette, that these would be the last tears that I will shed for them. I will continue to hold my head high and walk forwards. I will live for the both of them. The four of us had held hands throughout the whole thing. We had each other and each other's backs. I had that reassurance in my mind even as I fell asleep that night.

The next morning, I slid out of bed and made my way into the bathroom to freshen up. As I finished up, I heard a knock at the door and Vanessa came walking in soon after with a tray filled with food. "Here's your breakfast." She said as she placed it down onto the coffee table by the sofa.

I thanked her but frowned, "I could have gone to get it myself."

Vanessa bit her lip as she hesitated in her reply. "Well, it's already ten, and you're usually up by now... so I was worried that you were beating yourself up over what happened and locked yourself here in your room..." Vanessa trailed off.

I gave her a smile in reassurance, "I only just woke up."

Vanessa returned with another small smile, "Then I won't have to force feed you."

I sat down beside her on the sofa and dug into the food on the tray. As I ate, my mind wandered back to the events that happened yesterday. Instead of filling me with sadness and the urge to cry like yesterday, I was now filled with the determination to get stronger. The guilt that had manifested in my psyche was pushing me to improve myself... which is probably as good as it'll get.

Vanessa watched me eat, still with a worried expression. "You know it's not your fault." She said softly.

I froze at this statement, and swallowed the food in my mouth. "And you know it's rude to stare at people when they eat." I replied before continuing into my meal. Vanessa frowned at my reply but decided to not go any further.

"What's the plan for today?" I asked when I had finished eating.

Vanessa placed a finger at her chin as she replied, "They're still looking for a new house for us, and we're being moved to a hotel tonight. For now, we're given some time off syndicate duties. Syndicate 42 is unofficially back in action, without Dillon," she spat his name out, venom present in her tone and eyes, "but they will be official again after the re-initiation which was pushed back until we're settled back in."

"So we can do anything we want." I summarized, crossing my arms.

"Basically." Vanessa nodded. "The guys are going to go around and buy stuff today. I was thinking of doing the same thing. Since our house burned down and all..." she trailed off again towards the end.

I nodded, "I'll come along."

We walked back down to the cafeteria to return the tray and then walked out of the hospital. We decided to stop at the furniture and decoration store first. I followed Vanessa around as she went from place to place, checking out every corner of the store for things that she liked. I gave her my permission to choose the furniture for my room too, since I didn't really care what it looked like. As long as I had a place to sleep, I was satisfied.

As we looked at furniture and Vanessa saw one she liked, she took note of the product code of the item and then moved along. Since we didn't know our new address yet, she was just going to look around now so that she would know what to buy later. Once she was done looking around the furniture store, we left and headed to one of the major malls in Sector 3.

Like many times before when Vanessa dragged me shopping with her, she would pick out clothes for me to try and I would just stand beside her holding said clothes. When something did catch my eye, I would pick it up and place it in the pile as well.

Once we had an armful of clothes each, we went to try them on. Vanessa forced me to show her everything that I wore so that she can judge it. I went along with it.

By the time we went back to the hospital, the sun had already set over the horizon. By the main entrance of the hospital, there was a limo and a few people dressed in business suits waiting. Probably people from the government to take us to our hotel.

As we approached them, they bowed their head and gestured towards the vehicle. "We'll be taking you to your hotel. We're still waiting on the two boys but you can go in and wait."

We nodded at him, Vanessa said her thanks, and we climbed into the limo. Hugh and Kyle came running few moments later, each carrying a certain number of bags.

They came clambering into the limo as well, in the middle of a jovial argument about a video game or something. The car began to move almost immediately after Hugh and Kyle had gotten in. Vanessa, Hugh and Kyle exchanged stories about their day. I watched the conversation occur in silence, keeping my reactions to myself.

Since I had arrived at the syndicate, a lot of bad things have happened. And they were all because of me. And I couldn't save any of them, because I'm not strong enough. I want to get stronger. I need to get stronger, to be able to protect those that I care about. Christopher had mentioned before about a training center at the syndicate management building. I wonder if they'll let me train there? I put that in a mental checklist, pocketing it somewhere in my mind as we arrived at the hotel.

"And we're back in another hotel..." Hugh breathed out as we entered our suite. I nodded in response, memories of the last time we were at a hotel floating into my mind. I winced. They weren't pleasant memories, not to mention what had happened after that too...

Kyle snapped me out of my thoughts that were going into a dark place by holding his arm out, his hand clenched into a fist. Hugh copied the movement, followed by Vanessa. And just like last time, they looked at me to join them. Hiding a small smile, my fist joined theirs and we did a group fist bump.

"We got this." Kyle said simply. We all nodded.

"We can get through this." Hugh added.

Vanessa smiled, "together."

The three turned to me, who was staring at them with so much gratitude. I said the only thing that came to mind at the moment. "Thank you."

The three of them seemed shocked but each gave me their own signature toothy smiles, and I was soon engulfed in a group hug. My family. I will protect them.

We went on a week, doing whatever we wanted. This consisted of us going out to buy new things and going to the gym and around the city for runs to keep in shape. On the last night, we received a message from the Syndicate Management Team. They asked us to be at the building the next day to officially bring Syndicate 42 back as an official syndicate in Aestrea. Then, they apparently had other matters to discuss with us.

None of us were eager to meet with Syndicate 42 after all the events that has happened. There were no guarantees that one of us wouldn't attack them out of nowhere, but all four of us dragged ourselves by the neck to the newly rebuilt building.

This time, the entirety of Syndicate 42, excluding Dillon, were already waiting for us. "We gave them an earlier time to get here so that they are forced to be here on time." Mrs. Miller explained to us as we sat down on our sides. We nodded in understanding and the 're-initiation' began.

The whole process was just Mrs. Miller going through the rules that the syndicates have to follow. Then our duties, responsibilities, and any perks about how syndicates function. It was clearly evident that none of us wanted to be here, but since it was a must, we sat through it. It ended off with us, syndicate 45, shaking hands with them. It took every single fiber of my being to not squeeze their hand so hard that they lose circulation. In the end, I couldn't help but give them a glare.

As the whole thing ended, Mrs. Miller asked Syndicate 45 to stay behind. Syndicate 42 rushed out of the meeting room and disappeared into the hallway. I suppressed a sigh.

Mrs. Miller motioned for us to sit back down as she took her seat at the head of the table again as well. We did as she motioned and she began to speak. "I wanted to talk to you about the status of your syndicate."

The tension in the room seemed to have increase at that one sentence.

"After those... unfortunate incidents," Mrs. Miller tried to sugarcoat her wordings but at this point, I felt like all of us just wanted to get out of here. "We have been wondering what your thoughts on the syndicate are." She paused slightly.

"There are now only four members in your syndicate." Mrs. Miller continued. "Would you like to accept some new recruits? Or?"

The four of us exchanged looks. "Do you mind if we talk about this for a moment?" Kyle asked.

Mrs. Miller nodded, "of course, of course. Take your time." She began to busy herself on the touch pad in front of her.

"No." Vanessa said almost immediately after we had gathered in a small circle in the corner of the room.

"I was thinking that too." Hugh agreed.

Kyle nodded in agreement, "I think we're stay as we are and once we're all 21 years old, we'll disband the syndicate."

The thought of disbanding the syndicate bothered me. I didn't want it to disband, but I suppose the four of us would be together even if the syndicate was gone. I nodded along to Kyle.

We all stood by our seats and Hugh cleared his throat, catching Mrs. Miller's attention. "We won't be accepting any more new recruits. We'll stay as we are, and when we reach 21 years old we have decided to disband the syndicate."

Mrs. Miller nodded slowly as Hugh spoke. "If that is what you want, we will support it."

"Thank you." Vanessa smiled at her.

Mrs. Miller smiled back and stood up. "Well, that is all I wanted to talk with you about. We're still on the lookout for a new house for you, but we'll keep you guys in the loop for anything new." She walked up to the door and opened the door for us.

"Oh, Amelia, can I talk with you for a moment?" Mrs. Miller added as we began to leave. I nodded and she closed the door behind the other three as they left the room.

"Is there something on your mind?" She asked me directly the moment the door closed.

I blinked at her. "I wanted to ask if I could train here at the syndicate management building."

"Train here?" Mrs. Miller questioned.

I only nodded and said, "I want to get stronger."

There was a slight pause before she replied. "I see." She then opened the door and I walked out.

No other words were exchanged between us as I rejoined the others and walked out the building.