tw: abuse, homophobic slurs, panic attack and suicide mention

"....you are a fuck up, why did you think i would ever love you, you worthless fat faggot!!!" 
another kick hitting my stomach, making me cough up a bit of blood and whimper hoping it would make him stop.
"why did i ever stop you from killing yourself, you don't deserve live y-you piece of shit, i am glad you found out about me and mikey because now i don't have to pity date you anymore, i don't have to tell you that you are "beautiful" " he screamed at me then paused to make finger quotations then went back to screaming at me while mikey sat on the bed and just watched.
"everyone is better off without your fat pathetic ass that is drowning in sel-self pity and guess what? i
l-l tried patrick, i really did try to make you feel better but you wouldn't accept the fact that you were loved but you pushed everyone away but me but guess what, now i'm kicking you out of mine life y-you pathetic freak, I hate you patrick stumph you piece of fucking crap".
i coughed up some more blood and tried to at least tell him to leave but all i could do is stutter out something that was clearly not understandable.
he smirked, kicked me one last time, causing pain to shoot through my whole body and walked out with mikey.
leaving me, clutching my stomach and sobbing uncontrollably until my tears ran out.

i wake up in tears, I flinch when i hear same voice that said the horrible things to me a little over a year ago, when i opened my eyes i saw the face that belonged to the voice starring at me with worried eyes.

i quickly scooted away from him, wrapping myself in the thick navy blue comforter and crying into it.
i could tell that pete was hurt when his shaking hand touched the top of the comforter and he asked in a trembling voice "d-did i d-do something?" i pulled my knees up to my chest and fumbled around for my phone.

pat🌵        nno it was nt u ijust hsd a nigh tmsre

he removed his hand and let out a sigh before asking "should i call spencer?" as soon as i heard the name spencer leave his lips i started to shake but replied with:

pat🌵        ryen cal ruyan ples inesd yjem

"okay i'm calling ryan, j-just try to calm down please" i heard him plead then the sound of ryans faint voice through his phone.
"hey ry its pete, patrick h-had a nightmare or something and i-i'm afraid to touch them, they asked for you"
"okay, thanks so much"
then he hung up "hey 'trick do you want some water or something" he asked with a soft voice, i shook my head through the blanket and he let out a quiet 'okay'.

"bub" ryan sighed cradling me in her arms "what happened?" she asked softly stroking my hair, i let out a small whimper before stuttering out "n-nightmare.....p-pete... h-hurt me" and went back to crying into her chest.

"you had a nightmare about the night pete hurt you?" she asked me and i nodded letting more tears slide down my face, she wiped my tears away woth the back of her hand and sighed "do you want to talk about it?" i quickly shook my head and sniffled.
        "it's okay bub you dont need to" she told me holding me closer, i just nodded and drifted off to sleep.

this was my first irl chapter i guess it's pretty bad but i tried to make it not too cringe worthy