Castiel made the mistake of looking to the display of Dean's mental hell. And he saw him. 'Him' as in himself. Castiel, at least a more stable standing and less bruised one, stood upon the edge of the roof while Dean stared in horror. 

~~

"You know, Dean, my entire existence was ruined when I met you," the deep voice of Castiel called out, not looking back. 

The hunter sucked in his breath wondering if this could've been Castiel, with the little bit of grace that existed. While he hated the fact that what he said was true, he didn't want to believe that this was his Castiel. The only other instance where Dean was recognized immediately was with Gabriel being himself, but this was just mind games, right? Mostly... 

He didn't dare speak so that gave room for the supposed Castiel to continue. "I was no longer one of my own, I couldn't be a human, and I had been into hell harshly too many times to belong there. I could at least pretend to be something of use before I met you. My brother, Gabriel, died because of you. I died because of you. So many people did." 

The voice of Gabriel, while not actually in a vocal form, seemed to scream at Dean that this wasn't real. That this wasn't Castiel, and he needed to do something. The hunter was paralyzed, though.

"You were just a sad, scared, boy following your father's orders, huh? Just like me? How did you feel, knowing you were a failure, and that you could never please your parents, or be enough to protect your family? How did it feel to know that your soul could be ripped apart at any second and you'd die knowing you weren't enough?" 

"I..." Dean tried to speak but out came nothing.

"I died, I saw hell, I saw nothing. The Empty. And through that, Heaven was crumbling. I couldn't be supported on Earth, and the only reason I saw earth again was because of the spawn of Satan."

"Cas," Dean pleaded. He wasn't sure what he wanted. Well, he wanted to look into Castiel's vibrant eyes, tell him they'd fix this together like that always did. At the same time, he wanted to wake up, forget everything and not know who he was so he wouldn't be plagued with guilt.

"Where are you, Dean? Mentally. How lost are you? Do you know the difference between up and down, if there is a difference? They say that Heaven is above and Hell is below but isn't it all just surrounding us always? Humans live in the hallway between heaven and hell, and they don't even know they're just looking for the right door. But here's another question; why are you there, Dean?"

Dean didn't know if he was supposed to answer, to say anything, if he was expected to cry or scream or shout. Though it didn't matter what he was supposed to do because he was never one to follow rules. The thing is, he didn't know what he wanted to do.

"Did you bring yourself here, Dean? Is this your fault, too? So many things are on you, destruction was caused because you were created."

"I didn't create me," Dean dared to say. "I had to be made, I didn't have a choice. Don't you think, if I could right now, I'd throw myself off this roof right now?" 

"If you did that now, you wouldn't make it to the bottom. You'd be back where you started." 

This Castiel was far too conscious of the circumstances to be just another one of... whatever had been happening. Dean wondered if, even if this wasn't his Castiel if there was still a part of his Castiel listening to everything he said. Would it be worth spilling his heart out to this being in the place of his angel in hopes that something would get through?

"If I jumped right now, would I see you again when I came back up?"

"I wouldn't know." 

"You're not as stupid as you make yourself seem," Dean ventured down that path. "The apocalypse was bound to happen, and then it didn't. You helped stop it." He had wanted to point out that he himself did too, but he doubted this was the time. That, and he wasn't sure if he believed any of what he did was actually himself or if it was just what he was written to do. 

"You're probably one of the only angels to know what it was like to be human. You lived through that death. You lived because of my mistakes with Sammy. Reality is a weird thing, ok? I'm not saying I have an excuse, and I'm not saying you haven't done your own bad things. Hear me out though, alright?" 

Dean was met with silence so he took a conscious step forward. "If you fit in with what's required as an angel, do you really think you'd ever know true pain or true happiness?"

Nothing.

"Don't you think anything you ever did was for the good? Wasn't that what you said every time you did anything, that you thought it was the right thing to do?"

Nothing was what Dean heard, and nothing was probably what Dean meant to this version of Castiel before him. 

"If I jumped, it wouldn't change who I was or what I did. It would just cancel out any possibility of fixing anything." 

~~

Michael had disappeared from even the true Castiel's sight, giving him a false sense of security. He wanted to call out to Dean, say that yes, things could be fixed, but would he lose this vision if he tried anything?

His fake self couldn't be fully seen by the hunter, but Castiel had the view of all. The fake was completely blank. Maybe this wasn't one Dean would win, and it would be the beginning of his end. 

He could do nothing.

~~

"Once you said you loved us, that we were your family. You were an outcast of heaven, so you had us. You don't hate me," Dean said. He knew it was true to Castiel, even if he himself didn't believe it. "I am a terrible person but you risked a lot for me. You couldn't do that for someone you didn't trust. We've all suffered, Cas,  but we had each other."

Dean was probably within a meter of the angel now. "Let me ask you where you are. You, the real Castiel. The one I saw die yet again, and the one I know. Where are you?"

The "I'm right here" from beyond the mental reality wasn't heard by Dean as the fake Castiel before him finally turned. His face showed no distinctive expression, but nothing could explain the tear that fell from blue eyes. 

"I wish feeling things could be easy," the fake said, giving more of an explanation than the real Castiel could, who in utter confusion and felt betrayed by his own emotions. What the hell was Michael up to, and could he really say there was no hope for Dean?