I'm sorry you saw me breaking

But stay with me don't stray

God, I wish you  would hold me closely

Don't think I don't feel the same

...........................God, I wish I could love you

38 - Beast

We spent the evening sitting under the cherry trees in Sathariel's front yard. The house was very quiet since the rest of the inhabitants and the cabals stayed behind at the beach.

Vincent had been quiet, too, since finishing my portrait. He just held my hand while looking at the sky. After all that I had put him through, I didn't really expect him to bounce back to his usual bipolar self.

The moon was full and strangely bigger this time. Even in Halja, the Scarlet Woman kept plaguing our thoughts. And as the night grew deeper, I could sense Vincent's apprehension rising.

"If you weren't a Reaper, what would you be?" I asked him.

He thought for a while and let out a heavy sigh. "If you asked me that this morning, I'd say, a painter. But now... I don't know."

"If I weren't your familiar," I pretended to think before looking at him. "What do you think I'll be?"

He managed a bitter smile. "Alive."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?" he faked a sullen laugh. "I told you. Crap happens to everyone I care about."

Until now, he was still blaming himself for everything. And he had to stop it. Frowning, I leaned over to his shoulder and bit him.

With a groan, he shook me off his shoulder. "Ow! What the fu--"

I flicked him on the nose before he could curse aloud. "What did I tell you about cursing?!"

"What did I tell you about biting?!" he retorted, flicking me back on my forehead. It was legit painful, mind you.

Glaring at him, I rubbed my forehead.

He let out an exasperated "Ugh!" before pulling me to his side and planting a kiss on my forehead. I was so surprised, I think my heart skipped a beat. My whole face grew warm, and all I could do to hide it was to look down.

"If... I weren't your familiar, I would be dead," I told him, my voice quivering. "And sad."

He lifted my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look into his eyes. It never ceased to amaze me how he could smile with just his eyes. And all that was for me.

"Then, if you weren't my familiar, I'd probably have to wait. And wait. And wait. Until I find you in your next life."

"Really?"

"Really."

Somehow, I managed to smile. "Then... I'll be waiting, too, for you to come and find me."

He folded his arms around me and gently pulled me close to his chest. When he let go, he looked up at the moon again and said, "Let's go see my father."

***

I ground my teeth, watching the branding stake burn Vincent's arm. It made this hissing sound that made my scalp crawl.

Vincent's face contorted in pain, but he didn't make any sound. He didn't move as the glowing iron bit into his skin. Not like he could. His wrists, ankles and neck were in Helcium shackles, chained to the giant lodestone in the arena.

Once the branding was done, Mr. S dropped the stake. It hit the floor with a dull clang. I could see the pain on the man's face as he examined the triangular inscriptions burned onto his son's skin. It was Halja's symbol of non-maleficence. Vincent wanted to make sure that even if he did transform into the Beast, Halja's Binds would prevent him from hurting anyone.

Looking at him now, I doubted any form of Bind could stop the dreaded transformation.

Vincent caught his breath for a while, but it wasn't the branding that had rendered him breathless. His face was white as sheet. Sweat trickled down his temples even as the night was cold. Sometimes, he would shut his eyes tight and gnash his teeth so hard his gums started bleeding. Every vein and muscle in his body strained with effort.

I went to him and wiped his face with a towel.

"D-don't," he said through his teeth, his breaths ragged and fast. "Go... away. I don't... think... I can.... fight it any... longer."

"You can," I told him, keeping my voice even. "You're Vincent freaking Sinclair. There's nothing you can't do, right?"

The corner of his lips twitched into what was supposed to be a smile. "R-right..."

If what Belial said was true, Vincent had no choice but to become the Beast. Maybe, he had been feeling it all along. He was just trying to deny it. I knew something was wrong when he said he wanted to see Mr. S. Vincent would never get his father's help if it wasn't a matter of life and death.

I cringed when Vincent started screaming. His voice cut through the silence of the night. The chains wrapped all over his body clanged in protest with his every movement.

Belial kept adding more and more inscriptions to the triangle she had drawn around Vincent until the three sides were a yard full of restrictive incantations.

"It shouldn't have been him," I heard Mr. S utter shakily, his green eyes wide with horror. "It should've been me. This is all my fault."

Everyone was there, and yet, no one made any sound.

Soon, the screams became howls. And howls became roars.

Vincent's skin began to smoke. His shirt began to smolder, revealing the crimson scales that had covered his torso. The ground he was standing on cracked and from those cracks, flames sputtered angrily.

Belial dropped the bowl of blood she was using to draw inscriptions with. Alarmed, she turned to Mr. S. "This ward ain't gonna hold off much longer, S."

"That's what I was afraid of," the chief said, raising a hand. "Everyone get ready."

One after the other, I saw Cataclysts, Scythes and Helcium blades being drawn. Our main orders were to restrain, but frankly, I didn't think that would work on Vincent, much less the Beast version of him.

Levi crossed his arms in front of him, his armor clanking as he did. "The most merciful thing to do now is to end his suffering, Sathariel."

Sathariel's eyes blazed with hatred. "That's my son you're talking about, Leviathan!"

"Not for long," Levi answered matter-of-factly. "Your precious son is about to become a monster. Once that happens, there is nothing more we can do for him. And you will be left wallowing why you didn't do anything when you could have."

For a moment, Vincent had fallen really silent. He was listening.

"He's right... you know." Vincent's voice had somehow turned into a low raspy growl. He lifted his gaze to his father's direction as much as the restraints would allow him. "If I'm gonna die... at least I... I wanna... go while... I'm s-still myself."

"There you have it," Levi said, giving Vincent a fleeting glance of almost-admiration. "The boy has decided."

Sathariel curled his fingers into tights fists, his shoulders shaking with anger. "Leviathan!"

In a heartbeat, Vladimir and the rest of the cabal was already surrounding Vincent, faces grim, weapons ready.

"No one touches my brother," Vladimir said coolly, his sapphire-hilted saber raised in front of him. "Eldest forgive me, but I swear I will destroy anyone who will try."

"Vlad," Vincent called weakly. "D-don't."

As if he heard nothing, Vladimir kept his guard and so did his familiars.

I stared at the triangular mark on Vincent's arm; it was already burning away as his skin was slowly being replaced with scales. I told Eldest I would find a way. In the end, I wasn't able to do anything.

Think, Aramis! Think!

My eyes roamed around the room. Everywhere I looked, all I could see were faces filled with dread. Vladimir looked determined, but he was good at that: pretending like he was the stronger older brother. Alexis and Kyoshiro tried to look the same, but it wasn't as convincing.

At the very back, near the door was Max, fumbling with the Rubik's cube he still wasn't able to solve up to now. His hands were shaking and when another roar filled the room, the cube tumbled down the floor and broke into pieces.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, guys," Max said, trying to reach for the pieces near his feet, only to fail. He threw an encouraging look at Alex and Hector. "I'm sure one of you nerds can figure a way out of this."

The two only averted their eyes.

I stared at the pieces on the ground. I remembered that time Amyr got frustrated with that cube so he cheated by breaking it and assembling the broken pieces together.

And he said, "It ain't cheating. It's called improvisation."

The howling started again and this time, more violently. Vincent's muscles began to bulge. His veins smoldered as though fire had replaced all the blood in his body. A roll of spasms made his limbs twitch and convulse in awkward directions, it was painful to watch. When his eyes had both turned red, his gums started bleeding. A whine scraped out of his throat as his teeth began to fall off, only to be replaced by sharp, narrow ones that could have belonged to a large reptile.

He snarled and tugged angrily on the chains. One of the chains broke. In one throw, Mei looped the chain of her double-sword around Vincent's leg. Vladimir conjured his thread-like Binds and reinforced the remaining restraints.

Soon, Vincent's face was blurred by the mist forming in my eyes.

Fighting off the urge to crumple and cry in a corner, I forced the words out of my mouth. "Belial, is there really no way to turn him back?"

"No, Hun," she answered. Deliberately, the woman picked up the bowl from the floor. As she stood, she blinked and turned to me. "Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless the Scarlet Woman commands it."

"Luci was originally supposed to be the Woman, right? Can't she make Vincent do what she says?"

"Not unless she consumes enough souls to match Legion's power," she answered with a sigh. "It's impossible now."

My mind just started racing.

Vincent was somehow being controlled by Adrianna. But we couldn't kill her. She was just too powerful. If she was the only one who could turn Vincent back to normal, we would need her alive. And after all, she's still my sister.

I couldn't let Vincent be killed either. So should I just let the the world be? Like Eldest said.

What's the main problem here?

Vincent? Adrianna? No. Legion. And the unbreakable bond between the Woman and the Beast. Right then and there, the ultimate solution formed in my mind, like pieces of a puzzle arranging themselves.

"Say, Belial," I called vacantly. "Is there a limit to how many times someone can do an Offering?"

The woman pulled up both her sleeves, revealing the rows of triangular markings up to her arms. "As I've said, the Offering's only an appointment ticket. It's still up to Eldest whether she'd grant you an audience or not."

I didn't take my eyes off Vincent. "Does it have to be the soul of someone who recently died?"

"As long as it's someone dear to you, I guess, it don't matter."

"Then let's hope Eldest isn't sick of me, yet."

Alexis stepped to me and searched my gaze. "Aramis... you can't. Your soul might not withstand another Offering."

"If I don't like what I see, I break it..." I muttered to myself, thinking this was exactly what the old Alessandra--me--would do in this situation. "And then I rearrange it the way I want it." That was what I--Aramis--would do.

"And if you don't succeed?"

Suddenly, Eldest's voice was in my head. There was no mistaking it. His presence was overwhelming, enough to make my knees buckle.

I was at a loss for words, but the moment I recovered from the surprise, I answered, "I will succeed... It will work."

His silence told me he had just read what I was planning. "Come on. Humor me, Aramis. What if?"

"Then I'll kill him myself."

"Hmm... I told you. You can't have everything," he mused.

"I can at least try."

"What can I help you with then?"

I thought for a while. "Just keep my soul intact while I execute my plan. And please... accept my appointment after that."

"Done," was the last thing he said before his presence disappeared.

"Aramis?" Alex's face registered to me. He snapped her fingers in front of my eyes. "Where have you been?"

I was on my knees. My eyes were dry and painful like I hadn't blinked for a while. I noticed that the triangular marking on the back of my hand was glowing.

Belial grabbed my hand. "She's talkin' to you, ain't She?"

"Eldest?" Luci finally broke her silence, eyes hopeful. "What did she tell you?"

I almost jumped when an ear-splitting growl echoed throughout the arena. When I looked at the creature chained to the lodestone, I couldn't see any trace of Vincent left. It didn't even sound like him anymore.

"He told me... that I can't have everything."

And he was right.

For the first time in a long time, I sobbed like a four-year old. I didn't try to hold it in like what I usually do. I just let it all out in one go. Because at that very moment, I already knew how this would end.

Alex was kind enough to lend me his shoulder for a few minutes, gently patting my back. They all patiently waited until I was able to compose myself to tell them about my plan.