To Myles. (1963-2015) R.I.P.

(NP: Savin' Me by Nickelback)

A knee-jerk reflex woke me up. Again, my foot hit the glass wall of my not-so-spacious tank. My stomach turned upon realizing that it was all real.

Even in my dreams, I was remembering. Although I wouldn't consider it a healthy form of recreation, traumatic memories would beat reality any day.

I reminded myself that I was a prisoner now. Not by Alessandra. But by an equally-psycho dude.

The tank was real. The Swarth next tank was real too. Millie was real. Hector and his machines and his annoying obsession for all things white were all real.

"Don't worry, little doll," Hector's voice came through the speaker bolstered over my head. "This session is just like any other drills of the week. Nothing special. This isn't going to hurt... a lot."

"Oh, so that's your childhood? Dolls?"

Strobes of differently colored lights scanned me with a quiet beeping sound.

On the glass panel across from me, I could see my reflection. My left eye was a dull shade of green. Black flecks writhed from my pupil, wounding their way out to the whites.

Before I knew it, I was floating upside down.

"Put me down! You psycho!" I shrieked at Hector. "The instant I get out of here, I'll skin you alive!"

Unfazed, he glanced up at me. "Yeah, you do that."

Tainted life force wafted out of my skin like black smoke. And that smoke was slowly separating from my body, being sucked out by some invisible force. It felt like I was being torn apart into two.

A scream scraped out of my throat. And I kept screaming until I couldn't scream anymore. Until finally, he was done for the day.

"Interesting," he kept saying to the monitors as he worked furiously. Like always. "We're almost there."

But we never got there, whatever he was talking about.

Everyday just became worse and worse. Every day, he ripped me and my soul, taking pieces until it was barely a tattered rag. Every day would start with me throwing the foulest curses at him. Every day, I ended up broken and afraid. Then he would drown me in ectoplasm to heal my wounds. It wasn't my body though which needed mending. My brain did.

I knew right then I wasn't walking out of here the same, if at all.

The worst part? There was none. All of it was equally excruciating.

"Don't die on me yet, my little doll," Hector would always say, tapping the glass of my tank like he was goading some goldfish for his entertainment. "It would be a shame losing such a unique sample."

My hate for him grew and grew until I couldn't hate him anymore. It was getting tiring. I started to think that maybe this was my fate. Maybe I deserved this and I couldn't do anything about it.

Whenever Hector was gone, I begged Millie to set me free. But she always just looked at me with pity.

In my misery, I sometimes talked to the Swarth in the neighboring tank. Oftentimes, I talked to Alessandra, begging for help, but I might as well be talking to myself. Or God. Nobody bothered answering anymore.

At least, the Swarth swam closer to me whenever I spoke to it.

"I wish I die today," I told it one day. Then I began to cry. "Vincent's probably... d-dead by now."

It just blinked.

"Your stupid sister's in here, you know?" I smiled grimly, biting on my fingernails only to realize they were already bleeding. "W-what would you do if I just bit my tongue and bleed to death? I bet Hector's going to be so mad."

I let out a laugh.

Millie came to fumble with the controls of my tank. The dailies.

"Hey! Clone!" I drummed on the glass.

She startled, dropping the clipboard she was holding.

"You... You look like someone I know," I sneered at her, pressing my cheek on the glass.

Millie tried to ignore me like she usually did. She looked shaken though, troubled even. I was getting on her nerves.

"H-her name's Luci," I went on in between the cackles. "And, and she's human. A demon, really. But she's a real person unlike you! You were born out of a fishtank. You and I; we're the same. Hector doesn't love you like my master didn't love me. W-we're just copies of the p-persons they really love!"

I laughed again. Maniacally.

Love, I thought, feeling hysterical. I must be losing it.

"Why are you even laughing?" she asked. "You are the one inside the vat. Not me."

I couldn't stop myself.

"Yeah... I know, right?!" I blurted out, making an effort to put up an index finger just to make a point. "I-I'm the one in the tank, but, but y-you look even crappier than me. That's just... awesome."

She stared hard at me. With a sigh, she sat on the floor beside my tank. "This... This person who looks like me, is she still alive?"

"Maybe... What're you going to do about it? K-kill her?" I snickered humorlessly.

The look on her face told me the thought had occurred to her.

"But, but I hate to break it to you, Millie. It's not how it works. The person who looks like me? She's long dead. Dead! And it doesn't make it any better. I'm still just her replacement. So are you."

"I know that..." She fell into a pensive silence.

"J-just let me out of here... Please."

She got to her feet, looking anxious. "I-I can't. Master Hector is coming."

"Millie!" I shrieked. "You ugly clone! Let me out!!!"

Like all the other days, the door didn't open.

I sagged in a corner, trembling, trying not to imagine the worst of pain that would soon befall me once he arrived. I hugged myself.

"No. No. It's okay." I began humming a tune Mom used to sing me to sleep. "Sshhh... the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die... It's not going to hurt as much," I told myself.

I heard the sound of the metal doors opening.

"Stop it. Stop it!" I hissed. "Alessandra, wake up. Switch places with me. I don't want to. I don't. It hurts outside. Let me sleep."

To my surprise, Millie slid a glass of liquid through the small chute where Hector inserted his hand whenever he wanted to poke and stick me. She craned her neck upon hearing the door to the lab slide close with mechanical click.

I rocked back and forth on my heels, shaking. "Sshh... Sleep now, Alessandra. Sleep now, Aramis. I'd spend the end with you, and when the world was through—No! He's coming. Help. V-vincent. Vincent is dead. It's your fault. Hector said—he's lying!"

"It's just a glass of water," Millie whispered, dark eyes vigilant. "I put in a few drops of SirenSoul so you would not feel much when he starts working with you."

Hesitantly, I reached for the glass, ogling her face for any sign of trickery. I saw none. In the first place, it wouldn't matter if it was poison.

With my hands trembling, I tilted the glass to my lips and downed it in a few seconds.

"Quick," she hissed.

I slid the empty glass to the chute and crawled back to my corner.

Before Hector came into view, I was already groggy.

"Then one by one... the stars would all go out..."

My eyes were open, but I couldn't feel a thing. I watched the set of needles go into my skin and draw blood. With a slight frown, I watched him play with the consoles, turn me upside down and back, slice pieces from my soul without even a single peep.

It was bliss.

Hector was curious, nonetheless pleased.

"That's a good girl," he said for the first time, smiling at me as if I was his favorite puppy from the liter. "My brave, little doll."

Now, instead of pleading for help, I pleaded to Millie for SirenSoul whenever Hector was gone.

During my lucid periods, I would overhear them talking in hushed voices.

The battle outside still raged on. His Undead were dying. Got to make more. Got to make them fast. The enemies were weakening. Got to strike now. A few weeks more and there would be none of them left.

Sometimes, a name or two would be mentioned. Some familiars I didn't know. A few ex-convicts from Manu's troops. They all died.

Each time, I waited for Vincent's name to get mentioned. It never came up. And each time I was reminded of how many people had died and would have to die for some rotting soul, I always thought of killing myself. But I could never do it. I was too much of a coward to do the right thing.

"But I'm brave..." I would mutter from time to time. "A brave little doll."

All I could do was cry and cry and never stop until the tears stopped coming. I passed time wondering when Hector would come. I hummed the song, but I couldn't remember the lyrics. Then I cried some more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi there. Shim here. So you probably wanna torch me now because I said I'd make a filler last Tuesday and I didn't. Well, a friend died that day and I couldn't bring myself to write. So instead, here's an update.