NP: My Heart by Paramore

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

_________________________________________________________

It was a sad, sad day in Halo. Everyone finally stopped to let go of their scythes and Cataclysts. The damages left by months of battle were just too much to ignore. Today, we mourned for our loss.

People gathered by the lake. I was told this was everyone but we couldn't be more than forty. The depressing silence made every occasional moan so loud it hurt. The sky appeared to be darker than usual. As the fire lanterns were lit, they cast a gloomy light on tear-stained faces.

Mei hid her face in Amyr's chest. Her tears weren't just for Rosario, but every dead familiar she had fought alongside with. Archie pushed his way towards us, an unlit fire lantern on his hands. It had Rosario's name written on it in Enochian.

I clutched the letter inside my pocket. Written on it was a short message for Rosario. Vincent's was a lot longer. He spent several hours in his room just staring at it. No one saw him cry even for one second. He hadn't said a word to anyone since Adrianna had fled.

Pilgrim stood in front of us all. Today, he ditched the flashy suit and the cloak. Today, he was just like us. We all lost someone.

"Reapers," he began, his pewter gray eyes sweeping the crowd. "Familiars, Immortals; we have gathered here to commemorate and commune with our beloved who now linger in Oblivion. We all pray the day the will come when all of them shall find the Door to Nirvana where their years of sacrifice as keepers of the balance between life and death will be rightfully recompensed."

Candles were passed all around. And as tiny lights dotted the bank, familiars and masters burned their letters with the lanterns' fire.

Mei wiped the tears from her face and went first.

"Do you really think she would get our messages?" I asked Amyr,. "Rosario, I mean."

"So they say," he answered, staring at the folded piece of paper torn from a memory tome. "It's gotta be lonely in there, don't you think? Maybe it'd get a little less boring with a few messages in her voicemail."

"Yeah... I hope so," I nodded, looking up. For a second, the world seemed to sway I thought the lake and the sky would switch positions. I caught my forehead and kneaded it.

Amyr looked at me funny when he came back from Archie. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I twitched my lips into a smile. "Just... this headache."

"Why don't we head straight for the sickbay and get you checked up?"

"I'll be fine," I countered all too quickly. "Last time I checked, H-hector was still there and I don't want to commit murder just yet."

He shrugged. "It's probably the perfect timing for a payback with him in the vegetable ward and all."

"Tempting," I answered, walking past him to burn my letter.

After my turn, Vincent took his time, murmuring something to the lantern. Of all the people there, he was the last to let go.

As the lanterns floated up to the starless skies, fireflies began to gather near them. With every firefly that touched the lantern, the rice paper began to smolder little by little. Soon, the breathtaking display of floating lights was reduced into glittering ashes and white smoke.

It might just be my mind playing tricks on me, but I thought I saw Rosario's form from the smoke, disappearing as soon as it had appeared.

"Did you see that?" I asked Amyr.

He had a lopsided smile on as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Maybe..."

The ceremony ended too soon. All went back to the castle in silence except for Kyoshiro and his familiars. I decided to stay behind, repeating my message to Rosario in my head.

I still don't know what you mean, Rosario. I've accepted everything like you said. What more do I need to accept? I'm not getting any closer to saving Vincent. I wish you're here to boss me around and tell me what to do. I'm lost.

I saw Eun Jae run towards the lake.

Kyoshiro caught his arms and pulled him back, hushing him. "Let's go back, Eun Jae."

"No! She's there! I saw her!" He resisted. "Miu! Miu!"

"She won't want you to be like this," Kyoshiro said. "Yukinojo's here. I'm here. We still have each other."

Miu's son just stood motionlessly, watching his father break down without even moving a facial muscle. Suddenly, the boy bolted.

"Yuki!" Kyoshiro called, torn between following the boy and keeping Eun Jae from doing something stupid! "Yukinojo! Come back here!"

Before I could think, I was already running after the little boy. "I'll get him," I told Kyoshiro.

He went to the courtyard and sat on the edge of the fountain. I slowed down and quietly approached him.

"You're pretty fast for someone with short legs," I said, managing a smile.

He didn't respond and kept staring at his boots.

"Mind if I sit here?" I took his silence as a yes and inched closer to him. "You know, you can talk to me, if you want to."

"Why would I?" he answered. "I don't know you."

"Oh, he talks," I said, pushing my hair from my neck to show him my mark. "I'm Aramis. Makes perfect sense. Stranger danger, right? But sometimes... it's easier to open up to people you don't know because they can't judge you."

"Don't talk to me like I'm six."

"You might be older than me but-"

"You're old," he interrupted. "I'm seven."

"Okay..." I sighed. "Well, everybody here's a few hundred years older than me... so I just assumed."

After a minute of awkward silence, he looked at me. "My mom... she always acted like she didn't care. She never told us she loved us. Not even once..."

I kept silent and motioned for him to continue.

"Whenever Dad got all clingy and ridiculous, she would beat him up laughing. I asked him why Mom did that and he said, 'Because she loves us so much. She just doesn't know yet how to express herself," he breathed out. "I just wish she used her words."

"You want to know a secret?" I shifted on my seat to meet his eyes. He nodded. "Family is meant to make you miserable, but you still love them all the same. No matter how much you think you hate them, in the end of the day, you would die for them-not you..." I hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're too young."

He looked at my hand, then at me. Tears glistened around the edges of his eyes, but he was trying hard not to cry. "Is... that why Mom died?"

"I... I'm sorry," I answered, feeling defeated. "All I know is she never stopped fighting until the end. And if that wasn't love, I don't know what it is."

He began sobbing. "How would you know? Have... you ever loved someone, you're willing to die for them?"

I thought long and hard, but it didn't take a second to dig up the answer. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because... Just because."

The boy cried and cried. All I could do was wrap my arm over his shoulder and wait.

When finally, he had decided to wipe the tears away, he lifted his gaze. "Aramis? Does that person make you happy?"

Now, that needed a lot of brain power.

"That's... open for debate," I muttered to myself.

Yuki's forehead creased.

I managed a smile. "I mean... he bosses me around and gets angry over pretty much everything. But then, I can't really hate him for too long because he has these big puppy dog eyes that make you want to give in. He always wins and he's not even trying. Then I hate him all over again." I was rambling before I knew it. "I hate it when he's there. But I hate it a lot more when he's not."

"T-that's a lot to take in," Yuki murmured, looking confused.

"It's just that... taking care of him is my job," I said, patting him on the head. "You'll get it when you're older."

______________________________________

Hi! It's me again. I'll be out of town for a while but I promise to update next week when I come back from vacation. Please keep supporting Reapers and get a copy of Thirteen Brothers! Thanks.

ooo,

shim :)