"The empty, the angry, the lonely, the tricked, we are all museums of fear."
— Charles Bukowski

Nora sat up after Lucas left the next morning and rubbed her temples. She still felt sleepy from that Oxy and her stomach lurched with excitement at the thought of getting more. That was the best she'd ever felt. All of her shame and worry and anger about her grades had just slipped away as if they were a heavy winter coat that was no longer needed in the spring. That's what Oxy was like, she thought, spring melting into summer, warm and lazy and syrupy.

That feeling, or the remembrance of it, stuck with her for the rest of the weekend. When Monday rolled around and she walked to school with Lucas, she asked him about it.

"Can I have another one of those pills?" she whispered, even though no one was around to hear her.

Lucas shrugged his backpack off and put it on the sidewalk. After a few minutes of digging in the mounds of loose paper, he handed her the prescription bottle that only had two left in it.

"There were eight left on Friday night!" Nora exclaimed. "You took six this weekend?"

"I take a couple a day now," Lucas mumbled. "I barely feel anything with one anymore. But I saved these for you and me today."

"How can we get more?"

Lucas shook his head. "No idea. That's been bothering me a lot. I mean, there's no refill on here. I'm gonna ask that sophomore who sells us weed. Maybe he knows someone."

Nora felt uncomfortable. "That sounds... like street drugs that come from a hardcore dealer."

"It's not street. It's the same fucking pill. I just don't know how much, but we can pull together some money."

"Whatever. Let's just take these now," Nora said, pointing to a water fountain at the edge of their high school campus.

Lucas took hold of her arm as she started walking toward it. "Do you want to feel even better?" he asked softly.

"What do you mean?" Nora asked, looking back at him.

"I mean snorting it. I do it all the time. You get all the effects at once. It's intense as fuck! If you swallow it, it isn't as good because it's time released over hours and hours."

"I don't know... I've never snorted anything before. The only drug I do is weed! And not even that often. I think I'll just swallow mine. It feels more normal."

"Suit yourself," Lucas shrugged. "Just saying, it's the last pill we've got for awhile. You might wanna get the best out of it that you can."

Nora wavered for a second, then relented. "Okay. Show me how?"

The crowded high school campus was buzzing with voices, laughter, and the occasional scream. It was like this every morning. About fifteen minutes before the first bell rang, students congregated here because they weren't allowed into the building yet. It would be tough to do this with so many eyes around, but Lucas spotted a nearby picnic table under a shady tree, a little further away from the crowd. They would just have to be stealthy. He nodded at the empty table, and Nora followed him.

"You have a piece of paper?" he asked once they were seated and the noise of the students had grown faint.

Nora pulled out a page of her old math notes and handed it to him. She watched, mesmerized, as Lucas crushed the pills with the hard plastic bottom of her hairbrush. It took a long, long time to get the powder as fine as he wanted it. But finally there was a line of white on both sides of the paper.

"You got more notes?" Lucas asked.

"How many does this take?" Nora grumbled, passing over another sheet.

"The first paper is for the lines. Now we'll roll up strips of this new paper into little straws. Then we can suck up the powder."

"You first. Show me how," Nora said nervously.

She watched as Lucas effortlessly sucked the line of powder into his nose, then looked up quickly to make sure they weren't being watched. As far as he could tell, they were in the clear. He wiped away any excess powder from his nose before helping Nora.

"Breathe in really hard. It burns, sorry. You'll feel some burning in your throat too but it goes away fast," he said, rolling up a new paper straw for her.

Nora followed his advice. The high only took about five or ten minutes to hit, but it was much, much stronger than the pill she'd swallowed on Friday night. She was so out of it she could barely move. Everything was spinning. A wave of nausea swept over her.

"Why aren't you falling asleep?" she asked Lucas.

He looked totally gone but was managing to keep his eyes open and his head up.

He shrugged and spoke very slowly, "I'm... used... to... it."

"Shit... I don't think... I can walk to class," Nora said, and she realized now why Lucas had spoken so slowly. The words took a great deal of effort to say.

"Come 'ere. I got you," Lucas replied, and he walked around to her side of the table and helped her stand just as the first bell rang and the crowd of students flooded into the building.

"I'm gonna puke!" Nora exclaimed as soon as they were inside.

The main hallway was a huge, echoey space with floor to ceiling windows on all sides. She saw the nearest trash can and ran for it. Her forehead was slimy with cold sweat, and the sunshine coming through the windows was too warm. Mr. Montgomery, their English teacher, was instantly at their side.

"Nora? What's wrong?" he asked gently, placing a hand on her back.

Nora couldn't respond while Lucas held her hair back. Other students stared as they walked by.

"She's... sick, Mr. Montgomery," Lucas said.

"Lucas, are you high right now? You can tell me the truth. I can help you. Just let me know what you guys took. No judgment. I just wanna help you."

"No, sir. Fine."

"Are you sure? You look very high. You can barely talk."

"I'm just really sleepy," he said. Nora was relieved he wasn't slurring his words anymore. "I was up all night. I'm sorry."

"Nora, you need to go home," the teacher said.

She shook her head. "I'm okay now, Mr. Montgomery."

And she did feel better, more present.

"Are you sure? You don't have to stay here if you're sick."

"I'm okay. I just got really nauseous. It's um..." she leaned in closer to whisper, "It's kind of a girl thing, Mr. M. I'm sort of embarrassed to say that, but I have really bad cramps and sometimes this happens."

She did her best to look genuinely embarrassed.

"Oh I see. Do you want to go to the nurse?" Mr. Montgomery asked, looking thoroughly uncomfortable.

"Nope. I'm okay now. See you in English," Nora said cheerfully as Lucas steered her away. That was way too close.

When they were out of sight of their teacher, Lucas whispered, "I'm really sorry. I should have known you can't snort this yet. You gotta get used to it first. It was too intense."

"Just take me to first period. I can sleep it off there. It's an elective and we never do shit in that class," Nora said.

"You don't wanna go home?" Lucas asked.

"Like this? I'm high, Lucas, not stupid."

"You can easily explain it as a flu. All the symptoms are there. You're puking, you're sleepy, sweating, everything."

Nora shook her head. "This is the only place we can see each other for the next month. I'm staying here with you."

Lucas helped her walk down the hallway and explained to her teacher that she'd thrown up but felt better now.

At lunch, he was waiting next to her classroom door just as she was walking out. Lucas breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he saw her.

"How do you feel?" he asked nervously.

"Still a little gross, but I'm okay. Shit that was strong. I was not expecting that," Nora said.

Lucas shook his head. "I shouldn't have let you snort it. I'm so fucking stupid."

"It's okay. You didn't know that would happen."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to take these with me, Nora. I'm fine fucking up my own life... not yours."

Nora shook her head. "It was my choice to take them. And they helped me to forget my parents and how much they're on my ass. I needed that on Friday night. Believe me. My anxiety has been a bitch lately."

"Can you eat?" he asked.

They were juniors and now had the privilege of eating off campus. They usually walked to a little Mexican restaurant down the street. It was family run and cozy, and the owners were always nice to them. But the thought of that today turned Nora's stomach.

"Maybe something light," she responded.

Nora nibbled a few bites of a muffin from the cafeteria while Lucas downed a bag of Cheetos for lunch. The cafeteria didn't take cash, and he didn't have any lunch money on his account so Nora had put them on hers.

"I still want more, but for swallowing," Nora said quietly.

"Seriously? After what happened today?" Lucas asked, surprised.

She shrugged. "It was great on Friday. I just need to keep to swallowing them. That's all."

"I haven't talked to that sophomore yet, but I will after school," Lucas said.