"The mentality and behavior of drug addicts and alcoholics is wholly irrational until you understand that they are completely powerless over their addiction and unless they have structured help, they have no hope."
– Russell Brand

Nora couldn't start the letter she'd been asked to share at Lucas's intervention. The blank page stared up at her like an accusing eye. Once again, she retraced her pen over the only two words she'd written, "Dear Lucas," until they were bold black.

This was what kept sticking her: even if the letter she wrote was all true, it would still be a lie because she wasn't sharing his fate. She wasn't being honest. Once again, her fear was holding her hostage. Traitor, the blank paper seemed to say.

It had been a week since Lucas had woken up in the hospital after the Halloween party. They'd given him Suboxone to ease his detox at home, and Nora was giving him space. Well, not exactly. It was more like she was too guilty and ashamed of her secrets to face him.

Nora cringed when she remembered the conversation she'd had with Lucas's mother while he was unconscious.

"How long have you known, Nora?" Sarah asked, looking at her with probing eyes that made her hurt and squirm like being probed by the dentist.

Nora shifted her position on the slippery, faux-leather chair at the hospital. "He's been on heroin almost a year."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sarah asked as fresh tears ran down her cheeks.

"He didn't want you to know... about a lot of things."

"What things?"

One glance at Lucas was all it took for Nora to remember her promise to him: that she would never say a word about Brian. But she had made that promise when she was just thirteen, the first time Brian had beaten him with a belt. They were babies then, confused and scared. But now they were older, Lucas's father was dead and his son's life was at stake too. Everything was starting to fall apart, and it was happening too fast to make sense of it.

Frustrated, Nora sighed and threw down her pen. She couldn't do this to him. The whole thing felt dirty... telling him he should stop using even though she was the only one of them still sticking a needle in her arm. It was hypocritical. It was fake. It was mean.

She paced the room. Lucas was coming over soon, expecting an explanation for why she'd abandoned him since he'd gotten out of the hospital. The only thing left to do was prepare a fix and try to forget about it.

The worries left her alone for the first time in days as she let the high wash over her. Time jumped while she was nodding, and when she came to, it was almost time for the intervention, and someone was knocking at her bedroom door.

Lucas.

He was clean and healthy-looking but sad-eyed. He didn't smile at her like he normally did if they'd been apart for a few days.

"You didn't come," he said softly.

Nora looked down at her feet, still feeling woozy from the shot. "I know, baby. I'm sorry."

"You're mad at me?"

Nora looked up, confused.

"At you? No, why would I be?"

Lucas shrugged. "'Cause I lied about the robbery and did that China White and almost died and everything."

Nora's heart softened. He'd been at home all week thinking that was the reason she hadn't come to visit him.

"No, Lucas. That wasn't it. I'm not mad at you," she said.

To show him, she stepped forward and held him for a long time. His brown corduroy coat smelled like cold. The early November rain had turned into a freezing mist outside. Winter had crawled in at some point over the last few days and now it lingered, seeping into all the corners.

"I'm sorry, Lucas."

"I'm just glad you're not mad at me," Lucas replied with a soft laugh.

Nora pulled back from him and reached up to touch his damp hair.

"You look nice," she said.

"So do you."

Nora scoffed. She knew she looked sick and strung out.

"Please don't be nice to me right now," she mumbled.

"Why not?" Lucas asked, leaning in to playfully kiss her nose.

Nora pushed him back. "Just... don't."

"Well that shit's not gonna happen so you'd better get used to it," he said with a chuckle.

Nora checked the time on her phone. She'd promised Sarah she would bring Lucas to the intervention, which was starting in an hour. She had to do this. No choice, no way out.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Nora asked.

"Sure," Lucas said. "It's cold though. Get your coat."

They circled the neighborhood a couple of times, not talking, just holding hands and being together. Nora's dread grew and grew. Lucas, oblivious, picked up a bright red fall leaf and handed it to her like a proud child presenting a Crayon drawing.

"That's pretty," she said, admiring it.

From then on he picked up every brightly colored leaf for her until she had a stack of oranges, reds and yellows in her hand like a Chinese fan. Nora's fingers traced the delicate veins of each leaf as her body yearned for a fix.

"So I guess my mom dropped the rehab idea," Lucas said.

Nora's face flushed. "Oh really?"

"Well she hasn't mentioned it again..."

"Oh. So how was detoxing?" she asked quickly to change the subject.

Lucas shrugged. "It was actually okay. The Suboxone they gave me helped me not be sick. I'm actually a hundred percent clean right now. I think I wanna stay like this, you know? My head's clear. I feel alive," he said.

Nora looked down at her wet shoes. "I'm sorry I'm not."

"If we could get you Suboxone, you could do it too," Lucas said.

They were near the park when all of the sudden he grabbed her and scooped her off the ground. Nora whooped with surprise and joy.

"What're you doing!" she cried.

"Kidnapping you. Let's swing!" Lucas said happily.

He put her down and raced her to the swing set.

"Asshole! You got a head start!" Nora yelled, and Lucas's laughter floated back to meet her.

These swings had always been here, a monument to their childhood. They screeched on the way up and groaned on the way down like the breathing of some unseen giant. They'd learned to pump their legs here, had fallen off into the gravel and scraped their knees, had gazed deep into the sky like they were flying.

By now, they could swing so high they made the frame of the swing set shake, its poles fighting to keep them anchored. Lucas used his phone to play music as they glided back and forth. And when they got tired of pumping their legs, they sat and talked, occasionally winding the chains up to swing in a circle with their feet out.

"Nora, I've been thinking," Lucas said, looking up at the low gray sky.

"About what?"

"About how I got you into this mess with the dope. I'm so sorry. I hate myself for that. And... I want you to get clean. I'll help you. I wanna graduate, get a place with you. What do you think?"

He looked at her hopefully with his bright brown eyes. Nora stirred the gravel with her feet, making her own Zen garden.

"I... I want that too," she said.

"I can ask my mom if she could get you Suboxone from the hospital."

"I don't want her to know though."

"Well... the other option is just quitting cold turkey. It's hell. You could have seizures or even die. I'm not letting you go through that."

"I can't tell them."

"Why not?"

Nora sighed and paused her gravel art to look him the eye.

"Lucas, everyone has high hopes for me. They expect me to succeed. You... nobody really expects..."

Nora's voice trailed off, seeing the pain in his eyes.

"People just expect me to fuck up? Wow, thanks," Lucas said softly.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

Lucas just shrugged, an awkward silence building like a storm cloud between them. Nora finally broke it.

"Let's go to your place. I'm getting cold," she said, realizing they only had ten minutes until the intervention.

It was colder on the walk home, the mist now a steady freezing rain. Nora's stomach was in knots. She realized she'd never actually written the letter that she was supposed to write to Lucas.

They didn't speak. The only sound was their shoes splashing in thin puddles. Nora could sense that Lucas was hurt by her earlier statement, but she was too frustrated and agitated to care.

Lucas's house felt empty when they walked into it, but only Nora knew it wasn't.

"Where is everyone? Hello?" Lucas called into the silence.

"We're in here!" Sarah shouted back.

"You ready for this?" Nora asked, looking at Lucas and squeezing his hand.

Lucas furled his eyebrows in confusion. "For what?"

When they walked into the living room, they were greeted by Nora's parents, Brian and Sarah, all sitting in an intimidating circle.

'Um..." Lucas said, looking around at everyone. "Hi, guys. What is this?"

"Sit down, honey," Sarah said softly.

She was holding a nursing baby Sam, who was wrapped in a Winnie the Pooh blanket.

There wasn't enough room for Nora and Lucas to sit together, so Nora sat on the opposite side of him, her head down and her heart racing.

"Lucas, we're here today because we love you," Sarah began.

Lucas stared at each of them, wide eyed. He looked like a cornered cat. "Uh... Okay..."

"And we want you to grow up and live the best life possible. That's why we're all here to help you stay clean."

"Mom, I am clean," Lucas said with a smile.

"You need more than detox, Lucas. You need long term help. We'd like to send you to a special center just for teenagers who struggle with addiction. It's called Oasis Ranch. It's in California, and-"

"Mom, no. I'm fine," Lucas insisted. Now he was looking slightly panicked. "I told you at the hospital. No rehab! Don't send me away!"

"Honey, just keep an open mind and listen to what we all have to say."

With that, Sarah began reading her letter.

"Lucas, I love you more than life itself. You were always my Squeaky boy. I remember holding you until you fell asleep. I remember rubbing your back when you were sick, reading you bedtime stories. I know you're hurting inside. I can see the sadness in your eyes that were once so bright and full of joy."

Sarah paused to wipe a few tears off her cheeks before continuing.

"I neither know nor understand the depths of your pain. I don't pretend to have the answers. All I know is that I love you. Your dad also loved you so much. I'm sorry that he's dead, but I want you to know he was proud of you. So very proud. I'm sure he's looking at you today and his heart is full of joy at seeing the young man you've become."

Lucas looked down. Nora saw a tear slip down his cheek, which he hastily wiped away.

The silence that had settled over the room seemed much longer than it really was. Dana cleared her throat, and Sarah nodded the go-ahead for her to read her letter next.

"Lucas," she started. "You know you've always been part of our family. You're like a son to us. I saw you grow up. I changed your diapers. I wiped your tears. You called me 'Mama Two'. Do you remember?"

Lucas shook his head.

"We've watched you spiraling this year, and it hurts too much to let you continue. We want you to get help. You're a smart and kind young man who deserves a better life than the one you've gotten yourself into. Detoxing is easy. Staying clean is very hard. You need this help. Please accept it."

Last of all was Brian's letter. Lucas looked at his stepfather once, then put his eyes on the floor. Nora saw his hands clenching and unclenching, his jaw tightening with anger.

"Son," Brian started.

"Not your son," Lucas said softly.

The tension in the room rose like a swelling ocean wave. No one spoke, anticipating the oncoming argument. This time, though, Brian didn't reply with a nasty comment. He just went on reading.

"Since I moved in, I've been tough on you. Perhaps... too tough. I was only following the discipline methods my own father used, but I know that you... um... are more sensitive than I was."

Lucas rolled his eyes, his face red with anger. Only he and Nora knew the cruel meaning behind the words... that he was weak and pathetic.

"Instead of helping you, I believe there are things I've done that have worsened your addiction. I... I... I'm sorry about your guitar."

"I don't believe you," Lucas said coldly.

Brian shook off the look of irritation that briefly crossed his face.

"Well I'm sorry enough that I purchased you a new one. Plus an acoustic," he said.

Lucas's eyes brightened at this. "Really? Mom?" he asked, turning to Sarah.

Sarah nodded with a smile, confirming the story. "It's true. I was there when he bought them."

Lucas looked at Brian uncomfortably. "Um... thanks..." he mumbled.

"You get them on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You go to this rehab in California. It's not cheap, but it's one of the top five best treatment facilities in the nation for teens. Your mother and I are willing to pay any amount to send you there," he said as he folded up the letter.

"Please go, Lucas," Sarah added. Then she said, "Nora, honey, you can go next."

Nora looked at Lucas. "I... I didn't write you a letter."

"That's okay. Just speak from your heart," Sarah said.

Nora took a deep, shuddery breath.

"Baby, I love you. I want you to be happy. I'd be thrilled if you would do this. Stay clean. I'll be here for you every step of the way. Always."

Lucas looked at Nora and bit his lip.

"Nora," he said. "I'll do this for you. Not because of guitars. Because I love you."

Nora's tears overflowed onto her cheeks then. She couldn't hide the truth anymore.

"Then... then you'd better take me too," she said quietly.

"What?" Dana asked, sitting up straight.

"I want to go too," Nora said.

"What for?" her father demanded.

"Because... because I'm using too."

Both of their faces went white. Dana shook her head. "That can't... that just can't be true..."

"Nora, how could you be so stupid!" her father shouted, standing up and slapping her across the face.

Dana and Lucas were immediately between them as Nora held her stinging cheek in shock.

"Mom... Dad... I'm sorry," she said before breaking down into sobs.

Sarah rubbed her back and whispered, "He's just in shock, Nora."

Lucas sunk to his knees in front of her. He held her face in his hands.

"We can do this together, Nora," he said. "I promise you."

"You guys are young. This will all be behind you," Sarah added reassuringly. "Everyone makes mistakes when they're young. Even big ones."

Now everyone in the room was crying except for Brian and Nora's father, who had turned his back to them.

"Nora, she's right. You can still be successful, go to college," Dana said tearfully, seeming to recover at the thought.

"But you need to stop this idiocy. Right now," her father said sternly, turning back around to glare at her. "I am beyond disappointed in you. I'm disgusted. I'm ashamed that you're my daughter."

Those words visibly crushed Nora. She seemed to sink into the couch like a crumb of food smashed between the thread fibers. Once again she hid her face in her hands as Sarah whispered in her ear, "Remember, he's shocked and scared. Don't take it personally."

"Well I'm not disappointed in you," Lucas said loudly.

Nora looked up at him.

"I'm proud of you, baby," he continued, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm proud of you too, Lucas," Nora mumbled.

"We are all proud of you both," Sarah said, looking around at everyone, daring someone to contradict her.

By that evening, it was decided. Nora's parents made the necessary phone calls and arrangements. In two weeks, they would be flying off to California together to a place called Oasis Ranch. The thought of taking a trip by themselves, even if it was to rehab, was thrilling.

The night before they were set to leave, Nora came over to help Lucas pack his suitcase. Hers had been packed since the intervention. She was desperate to get away from her mother's tears and her father's silent treatment. They were alone in Lucas's room, both of them feeling light for the first time in years. Hope seemed so close. Their secrets were out, no longer tormenting them. Everyone knew, and this nightmare would be over soon.

"I'm glad you're going with me. Ninety days is forever," Lucas said.

Nora spread out on his unmade bed, breathing in his familiar scent.

"I'm glad too. Thanks for helping me have the guts to admit everything. I know my parents... or at least my dad... hates me now."

"Fuck 'em," Lucas said. "We got each other and my mom."

"What do you think of Brian?" Nora asked curiously.

Lucas had told her that Brian had been suspiciously nice to him ever since the intervention, even buying him a nice Bluetooth speaker for the ranch.

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't believe his lying ass is sorry. Not for one fucking minute. I think Mom forced him to get those guitars. A person like that doesn't change."

"Well, at least you get two guitars. You've wanted an acoustic forever."

"Yeah."

"You done yet?" Nora asked.

"I would be if someone were helping," Lucas said playfully, throwing a t-shirt at her face.

Nora laughed. Then she sat up on her knees, took off her own shirt and tossed it back at him. Lucas paused to admire her half naked body.

"Damn, Nora, I gotta do this. Hide your sexiness."

He went back to work stuffing pairs of socks between jeans and underwear when suddenly her bra flew into his suitcase too. It landed right where his hand was.

"Okay, now you're gonna get it," Lucas said, jumping on top of her.

Nora giggled and squirmed. "Then give it to me!"

"Oh I plan to," Lucas said, biting her chin.

"Empty words."

"Wanna bet?"

Lucas pulled his own shirt over his head as Nora worked to undo the button on his jeans. Their kisses went from playful to passionate, their breathing heavy in the silence as their hands caressed every inch of each other. Then Lucas kissed a trail all the way down to Nora's stomach and below. He had never done that before.

Nora gasped and tangled her fingers in his hair. A whimper escaped her lips. The feeling was pure ecstasy, warm, overwhelming and tingling throughout her whole body. There was the sense of something building deep inside her as the pleasure intensified. When it released, she couldn't help but moan. Lucas's hand clamped over her mouth.

"My mom is here! Shut up!" he laughed.

"Sorry, sorry. I just... wow... I think I had one," Nora said breathlessly, her limbs quivering.

"One what?"

"An orgasm."

Lucas grinned, crawling up her body so they were face to face. "Really?"

"Yeah... oh yeah," she said, closing her eyes contentedly.

Lucas softly kissed her throat, running his tongue up her neck. He could feel her pulse hammering against his lips.

"Damn," she breathed. "It's gonna be a long ninety days without this."

"That's why we're making up for it now," Lucas said. "I'll make love to you all night if I can."

"I know you." Nora chuckled. "Asleep in seconds."

"I resent that."

"So prove me wrong."

"You're damn right I will. Let's bet on it. Winner gets the window seat tomorrow," Lucas said.

"You're on." Nora grinned.

They made love despite the fear of getting caught. It was part of the thrill, a game to play. Afterwards, wrapped in each other's arms, Lucas tried hard not to fall asleep.

It didn't help that Nora was running her fingers through his hair and singing a soft, soothing song under her breath.

"Not... fair..." Lucas mumbled.

Nora giggled. "Sleep. Sleep, baby. That's right, fall asleep," she whispered softly in his ear.

"Mean," Lucas said.

But she was right. He couldn't stay awake. He fell fast asleep in her arms. Nora ignored her curfew and continued to hold him for another hour. After all, ninety days was a long time.