"From such a gentle thing, from such a fountain of all delight, my every pain is born."
- Michelangelo

Lucas's mother woke him up the next day, a cool, gentle hand smoothing his hair off his forehead. He opened his eyes blearily and watched her pretty face, framed by honey-colored hair, ripple into focus. She was already dressed in her nursing scrubs, ready for another long shift at the hospital.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Your alarm was going off for five straight minutes. You never even moved. Are you okay? You sick?" she asked with concern.

Lucas didn't want to explain the Oxy so he rolled over and pushed her hand away.

"I'm fine," he mumbled.

"Did Brian tell you the good news last night? I was already asleep or I would have. Long day at work. But it's exciting, huh? Finally you'll be a big brother."

Lucas nodded.

"And did he apologize? He said he did. I see he put your door back up," she said cheerfully.

"Yeah so? And the bastard didn't apologize. He's lying," Lucas said.

Lucas had never told her about the endless abuse he suffered. He was afraid of Brian, yes, but a much bigger part of him was ashamed and humiliated.

His mother sighed deeply. She hesitated for a few moments before standing up, the mattress rising with her. Lucas smelled her familiar vanilla hand lotion. Once upon a time, that smell had meant instant comfort, unconditional love, warmth and safety. Now it just meant sadness. He sensed her hovering over him, leaning in for a kiss on the cheek, but he pulled his sheet over his head before she could.

"Why are you so upset with me, sweetheart?" she asked softly. "Is it the baby?"

"I'm fine," Lucas mumbled. "Just go away."

"It won't replace you. You know that right?"

Lucas scoffed. "Okay."

"You don't believe me?"

Shrug.

"Well believe that I love you. Have a good day, sweetheart. Stay out of trouble. I know you can."

She left. Lucas laid there for a long, long time, staring blankly at the wall, feeling nothing, before finally crawling out of the warm cocoon of covers to get ready for school.

**********

Since that day Nora had found him skipping, Lucas had started trying for her sake; trying to go to class, trying to get good grades, trying not to get into fights. Every day it was a new hell, the effort of pretending he was normal when inside he was choking. No one could know that. Not even Nora. No one had to know how often he thought about death.

He figured he didn't have to stop taking the Oxy because he hadn't told Nora about them. He was doing it more and more now, not just on the bad days and no longer just to sleep. He liked that it made him numb. And he'd found Klonopin in Brian's sock drawer too. That was risky, but Brian obviously never took them. He'd been prescribed a ninety-day supply back in October, and all but three of them were still there. Lucas had stashed the whole bottle up in his bedroom.

The school year was ending, and that meant tests. Lots and lots of tests. Nora was spending most of her free time studying, but she always did well. Except history. It was the memorization that killed her. She just couldn't seem to keep stuff in her brain, especially stuff she didn't really care about. She was a hopeless daydreamer. Sometimes she got so lost in her head she wasn't aware of anything happening around her.

Maybe that's why she scored a seventy on the history final. Lucas knew her parents were going to rip her apart tonight. They never accepted less than a B. They always demanded more, more, more from her, which caused her to have panic attacks and constant anxiety. She often said she felt like a dishrag so wrung out it had lost its shape, and she poured all of her fears out to Lucas as they walked home hand-in-hand that afternoon.

"At least you didn't fail like your idiot boyfriend," he said, trying to cheer her up.

"You're not an idiot," she snapped. Then, staring up at the sky hopelessly, she lamented once again, "I needed at least a B. Why couldn't I just get a B?"

Unshed tears caused her voice to waver, and Lucas felt sorry for her. He leaned over and kissed her blue hair.

"I know I bitch about my mom and Brian, but at least they're not on my ass about school," Lucas said sympathetically.

Nora let out a hollow laugh. "Yeah. No shit. It sucks."

"Hey, what's the worst they can do? They already know grounding you is pointless 'cause you'll just sneak out anyway."

"They can shut off my phone," Nora said sadly.

"But the most important person you know lives right across the street," Lucas said, and Nora smiled.

"Who? The Ramsey's? They're like sixty-five, Lucas."

"Fuck you."

"I'm just kidding," she laughed, nudging him so hard one of his feet slipped off the sidewalk and into the leafy, wet gutter. He pushed her back into the chain link fence beside them.

"Ow! Meanie!" She fake pouted as Lucas grinned.

"You're such a girl," he said. "Speaking of that, you better delete all those sexy pics before they confiscate your phone."

Nora blushed. "Oh... yeah. I forgot."

Nora and Lucas had never actually gone all the way, but they'd become comfortable sending nudes to each other over the past few months. They'd made an agreement to have official sex this summer. Both were still virgins at the moment, but not for long.

"Wanna hang out somewhere?" Lucas asked hopefully as their houses came into view.

"I'm in enough trouble. I know they've seen the grade online. I gotta go home," Nora sighed. "See you later. If they don't kill me."

Lucas took his time kissing her goodbye before walking as slowly as possible to the front door. Brian was always home before his mother. This was the worst part of every day.

As he trudged up the perfectly manicured lawn, he ran through every possible reason that Brian could attack him and came up with nothing. He hadn't gotten a bad phone call from the school in two weeks. No one gave a shit about his grades, curfew, or who he hung around with. All things considered, he was in the clear.

He opened the heavy door softly and started tip-toeing upstairs, hoping that Brian didn't hear him.

No such luck. Lucas heard and felt the pounding footsteps before he could react at all.

"WHERE IS IT?!" Brian shouted, grabbing him by the hood on his jacket and pulling him down the few stairs he'd managed to ascend. Then Brian swung him around and slapped him hard on the side of the head.

"Where's what?" Lucas gasped, clutching his throbbing ear.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! The bottle in my sock drawer!"

Lucas's body went cold. The Klonopin.

"I don't-"

Brian backhanded him across the face before he could finish the sentence. Lucas stumbled against the stair railing and almost fell over from the force of the blow, but Brian dragged him up on his feet again.

"I knew you'd deny it, you lying little shit!" Brian hissed in his face. "Come on, we're going for a little ride together. A driving lesson. Or so your mother thinks. By the time I'm finished with you, you'll never steal from anyone again. Especially me."