"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."
-Stephen King

A few months into the new school year, Lucas had to cut back on his hours at the theater. He still hadn't made enough money for the car, and more and more of his savings was being spent on dope. By October, his car savings was completely gone. All of his hard work towards buying a car had been for nothing. It had all disappeared into his veins.

"Lucas?" Sarah asked one evening a week before Halloween.

She was standing at the stove boiling a big pot of water while Sam played in his playpen on the floor.

"What?" Lucas asked, looking up from his school laptop, where he'd been searching for quick ways to make money.

"I really need you to quit that theater job. You must have enough or close to enough in savings for that car. Brian and I will cover the rest if you'll quit."

"Why do you want me to quit?" Lucas asked.

"I need your help here in the evenings. Just so I can cook dinner and stuff. I can't get anything done with Sam needing me so much right now. Only for a few more months," she said.

Lucas could see that she was genuinely exhausted. There were dark circles under her eyes from being up at all hours of the night feeding Sam and changing diapers. Plus, she'd gone back to work too. Lucas felt sorry for her, but he couldn't lose his dope money.

"Get Brian to help you. He fathered the kid," he said.

Sarah sighed. "Brian has mountains of paperwork in the evenings. You know that. He needs to be in his office. I really need your help Lucas. We'll cover what you need for the car after you spend your savings."

Lucas balled his hands into fists under the kitchen table. What savings? There was no savings anymore. He was shooting up twice a day, his and Nora's habit costing him two-hundred dollars a week at least.

"Mom, I need to work," he said slowly, trying to stay calm even though his stomach was churning with anxiety at the thought of not being able to afford the drug anymore. Quitting was unthinkable.

"But why? The whole reason for this job was the car, and now-"

"I just need to!" Lucas snapped. "I'm not quitting!"

Sam started crying from his play pen at the sound of Lucas's harsh tone.

"Shut up!" he yelled at the baby.

"Lucas! Don't you dare talk to him that way!" Sarah said, whirling around, her eyes blazing. "What's wrong with you lately? Are you back on Oxy?"

"No!" Lucas said exasperatedly. It was true, he told himself, he wasn't on Oxy anymore.

"You are not acting like yourself," Sarah said, and Lucas could hear her voice trembling with fear.

"I'm fine, Mom. I just... need money. I need money."

Sarah turned back to the stove, sighing. "I'm saying no. Everything you need, we can provide. Quit the job tomorrow."

"Or what?" Lucas asked softly.

"Or no seeing Nora until you do."

Lucas laughed. "You can't hold her hostage! You know I'll see her anyway!"

"Not if I tell Dana. She'll keep you two apart."

"We go to the same fucking school! Brilliant plan, Mom," Lucas said sarcastically.

"Language! And you won't be riding in Nora's car. You'll be walking there alone. You'll see each other in class and at lunch. That's it. No texts, no phone calls, no notes, nothing," Sarah said.

Lucas slammed his fist on the table. "You can't keep us apart! You can't control me!"

"You are seventeen and living under my roof. I can control everything you do. I'm putting my foot down."

"Bitch," he said under his breath.

"What was that, young man?"

"I said you're a BITCH!" Lucas shouted.

Sarah's face went white as Brian's office door swung open. Sam was screaming from his play pen as he stomped into the kitchen and yanked Lucas out of the chair by his arm.

"What the hell did you just say to your mother?!" Brian shouted.

"Get the fuck off me!" Lucas cried, twisting himself out of Brian's grasp.

Brian slapped his face, the first time he'd ever done so in front of Sarah. Sarah ran to get between them, her arms outstretched in front of Lucas.

"Brian, stop!" she shouted. "What are you thinking? You can't hit him!"

Brian stepped back, breathing hard. "Outside, Lucas. Now."

To Sarah he said, "We're just going to have a talk. That's all, sweetie. I'm sorry I lost my temper."

Sarah relented. "Go," she said, waving them on.

"Outside, Lucas," Brian repeated.

"Why the fuck are you with this bastard?" Lucas asked his mother softly as he walked past her.

Sarah was crying now, and she looked away from him. Brian shoved Lucas out into the dark back yard. "Get your ass to that corner," he barked, pointing to the darkest corner of the fenced in yard, which was partially concealed by a huge oak tree that had been there for decades.

Lucas walked forward as calmly as he could, his plan already swirling inside his head. As soon as they were concealed in the dark, he turned and took a swing at Brian's face and felt his fist connect to flesh. Brian stumbled back, a look of pure shock on his face as he held his cheek. Lucas had tried to hit him before, but this was the first time he'd actually succeeded. Before Lucas could even celebrate this small victory, Brian's look of shock quickly transformed into one of rage. He charged toward Lucas and shoved him down on the ground before kicking him hard in the stomach.

"Face down in the dirt, you little prick!" he shouted.

Lucas tried to get up, but Brian's foot pushed him back onto the ground. The first blow came to the back of his head. Lucas fought, but he wasn't strong enough to throw Brian's weight off his back. Brian pummeled the back of his head, neck and shoulders with fist after fist. Lucas tried to cover his head with his hands, but Brian twisted them behind his back with his free hand while the other continued to deliver the blows.

After it was over, Lucas groaned in pain as Brian whispered, "I win. Say it."

"Fuck you!" Lucas shouted.

Brian shoved his face in the damp earth. "You want more? Fucking say it!"

Lucas squirmed, trying to move his face so he could breathe and panicking when he realized he couldn't. He was running out of air when Brian yanked him up by his hair.

"Who won?" he demanded.

"You," Lucas choked, spitting out clumps of grass and earth.

"That's right. I always will too. Just to make sure you know it, eat some more dirt, you little shit!"

Brian shoved Lucas's head down again, and Lucas was once again fighting for breath, no choice but to open his mouth and try to take in any oxygen from the ground. Soil gritted between his teeth. It was like being buried alive. He had watched a true-crime show once about a couple who had been murdered like that, and he remembered how the killer had said he could hear them suffocating and crying beneath the earth long minutes after he'd filled the hole and flattened the dirt. Would that be his fate tonight? How long would it take to die like this? Brian once again yanked his head up before he could pass out.

"You had enough?" he asked.

Lucas nodded frantically, thinking about the suffocating couple. "Yes! Let me go!"

"Yes, Sir."

"Yes, Sir."

"Get the fuck in the house. If you ever talk to your mother that way again, I'll fucking bury you."

Lucas painstakingly got to his feet and brushed his clothing off as much as he could, spitting soil out of his mouth and coughing up bits of dead leaves. Then he looked Brian straight in the eye.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked.

The question surprised even him. Though he'd asked it often enough inside his head, he hadn't expected it to fall out of his mouth.

For the first time, Brian was actually taken aback, just as surprised as Lucas was. It took him almost a minute to respond.

"I... I don't... hate you, Lucas. I don't want you dead, and I don't wish harm on you. You're just a bad seed. You're the only thing keeping this family from being happy. The only reminder of your worthless father. If you left and didn't come back, Sarah would be relieved. I would be thrilled."

"Someday soon I will leave here and never come back," Lucas said softly.

"Good. The sooner the better. I hope you're ready for the cruelty of the world. I've done my best to prepare you."

Lucas let out a hollow laugh. "Yeah. Nothing could be worse than you."

He wiped his face clean and walked to the back door, stiff with pain. Sarah was now holding Sam in her arms, trying to soothe his crying, dinner long forgotten on the stove. She gave Lucas a hard look as he walked inside.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean it," he mumbled.

She started to speak, but before she could, he had disappeared up the stairs. Halfway up he could still hear her low conversation with Brian, and he stopped to listen.

"It's drugs. I just know it. What do we do?" she asked helplessly.

"Ground him 'till he's fifty. Take away his guitar. Don't let him see Nora. That girl's his weak spot. He'll do anything for her," Brian said.

"I don't know how bad it is. It's opioids. I can tell by his pupils. He needs help, support, love... not a punishment. I think he's depressed, and I've thought that for a long time. I should have put him right into therapy when Eric died," Sarah replied.

"That's just what this spineless society would tell you, but the tough way always works! It worked for me! You tried the soft approach last year, and look at him, right back where he started with the Oxy's."

Lucas couldn't listen anymore. In the bathroom, he prepared his fix with trembling hands. In a few seconds, the last half hour would just be a bad memory. The best thing about heroin was that Brian's cruel words didn't sting anymore. Besides, he was right, Lucas told himself. He was the only reason the three of them couldn't be happy. Once he left, he could rest easy knowing he'd done the right thing for his mother and Sam. It was true that Sam wouldn't get to know him, but that was best. What little kid should know a worthless, waste of space junkie?

The crook of Lucas's left arm was now dotted with needle marks. He wore long sleeves every day. Even though he was right handed, he decided to give his right arm the needle tonight. It was a little harder to shoot with his non-dominate hand but nice to poke fresh veins for a change.

After his fix, he took a long, hot shower to ease the pain in his neck, shoulders, and spine. The hot water cleared his head. Tomorrow he would quit his job. Risking time with Nora wasn't worth anything, not even dope. Now that he was high, it no longer seemed like such a huge problem. He would find money somehow. Everything would work out.

After everyone was asleep, Lucas crept to Sam's room across the hall and held the sleeping baby close. He almost wanted to cry, but he was too numbed by the dope to feel much emotion. It was better that way.

"I'm sorry I said shut up to you, little guy," he whispered.

He kissed Sam's sweet, baby shampoo scented head.

"I'm really fucking sorry. I'm a loser. I'm incapable of doing anything right. Better for you to know that now. You know I love you, right? I do. I promise," Lucas said. "When I leave you, it's not because I don't love you. It's because I do. You'll grow up nice and happy like I want you to. Goodnight, buddy."

He kissed Sam once more and put him back down in the crib. Across the hall in his own dark bedroom, he looked at his guitar and thought again about money. The guitar was worth a lot... but it meant too much to him. Music was still his outlet. He felt he'd shrivel up like a thirsty plant if he lost it.

But...

But...

Downstairs, there were iPads, speakers, TV's and laptops. Lucas suddenly knew what he had to do to get enough dope money for the next few months. He had to stage a robbery in his own house.