"Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast."
-William Shakespeare

Lucas didn't speak to Matty again until three weeks after his suspension. He had planned on ignoring him, but when Matty walked too close to where he was standing in the lunch line, Lucas knew something was coming.

"Your girlfriend's still buying my dope," Matty whispered before walking on as if they hadn't even seen each other.

Lucas spun around. "What?" he demanded to Matty's retreating form.

Already, the other students were preparing for a fight, cell phone cameras at the ready. The bloody fight three weeks ago had travelled across the whole school twice over, earning Lucas a psycho reputation he didn't know how to shake.

Matty turned around and grinned. "Yep. She didn't tell you? So selfish of her to keep all the good shit to herself."

"You're lying. I know her," Lucas said, but he'd gone cold all over.

"Then you should know she's doing a great job keeping secrets from you while she's sucking my dick for dope."

Several students let out low oooohhhhh's.

Lucas lunged at Matty, but a hand on his shoulder pulled him back. It was Mr. Montgomery. "Not worth it, Lucas," he murmured.

To Matty he said, "Move on, Thompson. You know you can't stand around if you're not in line."

Matty walked away laughing while Lucas shook Montgomery's hand off his shoulder and ran to find Nora.

"Lucas! Wait! I wanna talk to you!" Mr. Montgomery called, but Lucas was too angry to listen to him. And behind that wall of rage, there was terror.

What if it was true?

What if he lost Nora?

What if she didn't love him anymore?

What if she died just like his father?

How could he live this life without her?

She was sitting at their usual picnic table under the thick oak tree when Lucas stomped up to her demanding answers. As soon as he finished, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Okay, I did lie, Lucas. I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd understand after getting clean, but I promise I'm keeping things in check. A pill here and there. That's it. No addiction. No problem. It just helps me relax. You're the only one who knows how bad my anxiety is! I wasn't even sleeping through the night before I found these!"

"My dad DIED from a heroin overdose!" Lucas shouted.

"I know! You don't have to remind me! I was there at the funeral! It broke my fucking heart! He was practically MY dad too!"

"It's not to remind you," Lucas said. He wanted to shake her. "It's to say how could you? How could you do this to me?"

Nora's facial expression changed. She was no longer on the defensive, he could tell. She truly hadn't even thought about how he would feel. Lucas knew it. He saw it in her eyes, and it crushed him.

Nora did not acknowledge the truth she had not said. Instead she swallowed and softly spoke,

"He died because he was addicted, Lucas. I'm not. Believe it or not people can take drugs and not get addicted to them. I know what's at stake here. We both do. If anything, thinking about your dad will keep me from not being an addict."

"That's such a bullshit excuse." He scoffed. "I can't believe out of the two of us you're the one putting your life on the line for drugs! Just to get high!"

"It's not to get high!" Nora snapped back. "It's to shut my brain up! You don't know what that's like!"

"Oh yeah 'cause it's fuckin' Disneyland inside my mind," Lucas said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm not saying you feel great all the time. I'm just saying you don't have anxiety like I do!"

"Is it Matty? Do you wanna dump me?" he asked desperately.

Nora rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, Lucas, NO!"

"Did you suck his dick for them?" he asked, his voice trembling.

Lucas hadn't meant to ask like that, but he felt like he didn't even know her all the sudden, like their lifetime of friendship had just been a charade. Who was this girl?

Nora breathed in sharply, her gray eyes narrowing like daggers. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"If Matty was right about the pills, maybe he's right about you too. Maybe you can't be trusted!"

Nora stood up, breathing hard. "It is one thing to come at me demanding the truth and an entirely different thing to even imagine I'd prostitute myself for drugs! And with Matty? Fuck you, Lucas!"

Her chin was trembling now as tears filled her eyes. Lucas's stomach twisted when he saw she was telling the truth. He had gone way too far. He had come here demanding an apology and now he was the one who was going to have to say it.

"Look... Nora... I'm sorry..." he mumbled uselessly.

"Forget it," she snapped, walking away and leaving him alone.

It didn't take long for Lucas to find her. She was sitting against the wall in their hiding place. He sank to his knees in the cool wet dirt, wrapped his arms around her and whispered against her ear,

"Nora, you know I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so sorry, baby. Please forgive me! I can't even believe I said that to you."

Nora balled her hands into fists and smacked his shoulder as she cried. "I'd never do that to you!" Smack. "I'd never cheat on you!" Smack. "How could you think-" Smack. Smack.

Her words faded into sobs again. Lucas kissed her hair. "I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. I'm so sorry. You know how stupid I am!"

It took a whole five minutes before Nora could stop crying and calm down enough to speak. She took a deep breath and rubbed at her tears. "Okay," she said softly.

"Okay...?" Lucas asked.

"We'll let this go," Nora said. "I forgive you. I guess. Just think before you open your mouth. You are so goddamn impulsive, Lucas. I swear. That's why you always get in trouble. Think before you fucking speak!"

Lucas's body relaxed, and he was filled with warmth and relief, the same way he felt after snorting an Oxy. "I know I don't deserve you, Nora," he mumbled.

Nora let out a hollow laugh. "No, you probably don't, asshole. You're annoying, impulsive, and you have no filter on your stupid mouth."

Lucas looked down and pushed a finger into the damp ground until Nora's soft hand lifted his chin. "But I don't deserve you either... so things even out."

The storm was over. They had made up. Lucas tried to feel good again, but Nora's lie about the heroin ate at him. He was worried for her, scared for her. There was no way he would make it through another loss of someone he loved. But how could he protect her?