2nd August 2019

RENEE

I love you.

I just don't want to lose you, like I lost Isaac...

I was desperate, and I didn't know what else would stop you!

His words, these mere words were enough to traumatize me for the next sixteen hours.

At first, I was this higher Spirit, who had no time for confessions of love and had to carry out her duty. I was emotionally strong, powerful, radiant...

No, I was a mess, and I was using my higher form to hide what I truly felt.

This simple realisation made me collapse back into my lowly Spirit form, and I was Renee Durvont again, hurt beyond words by the one person she'd loved the most.

Noah Stark.

I love you.

He never really meant to confess, he just said that so I wouldn't leave. Was he looking out for me like he'd claimed?

Or was he jealous that I was reaching the White Realm before him?

I'm not new to being a victim of jealousy. All through my school years, guys have been jealous of me because I've been outperforming them. So I wouldn't be surprised if Noah felt that way, it's just that I'd never expected someone like him to.

I thought he was different. I thought he understood me.

I thought what we had wouldn't be destroyed in something as stupid as this.

I curled into a ball, not bothering to wipe my tears away. My face hurt from crying, but nothing could beat the feeling of heartbreak in my chest.

I always imagined Noah's supportive smile as I reached the White Realm like he was waiting with the prize at the end of the finish line. I never thought I'd be alone and miserable like this, crying for sixteen hours straight, all alone in a black abyss faintly lit with distant Realms.

As my sixteen hours were nearly over, I could see a white expanse looming towards me, spreading out like the horizon, as far as the eye could see. In normal circumstances, I would've been curious and excited, but now I didn't feel a thing.

All I felt was pain.

Maybe this is what Noah felt like round the clock.

I peered at Isaac's notes. It took sixteen hours and thirty-two minutes to reach the White Realm from the fifth astral plane. And these sixteen hours have gone by in the blink of an eye because I'd been too preoccupied with my thoughts.

According to him, when I reached the White Realm, the Enlightened would receive me.

I wondered if they were Spirits in the Highest form, or if they weren't light beings at all, rather some sort of Alien race that governed all of us.

Noah would've known about them. He always knew everything, how to talk, what to do, what were all the different options we had. He was absolutely right in worrying about me, because right now I was so clueless, and I had no idea as to what to do.

And being who I was, I was stubborn enough to ignore his attempts at telepathy, that he'd stopped communicating after a while.

I doubted that he'd answer me now. But that didn't stop me from trying.

"Noah?" I asked.

There was silence.

"You were right, I don't know anything about the White Realm... And I've been crying continuously for the past sixteen hours... Because what you did, it hurt so much."

No answer again.

I paused. Maybe he couldn't hear me because I was in the ninth astral plane, while he was in the first or second, all the way back in the before Realm?

Okay, that was a terrifying thought, because I was truly helpless now. I swallowed the rising lump in my throat, before attempting Telepathy again.

"Noah, I love you too. I think that's why I transformed so rapidly, the pure rush of joy I felt at your confession was enough to clear me off my lower emotions... And when I learnt that you didn't mean it, I had immediately transformed back to normal."

There was still silence.

But, somehow I'd met my inner peace because if the White Realm consumed me, I would be left with the thought that I'd at least confessed my true feelings to Noah.
It was strangely reassuring, even though going to the White Realm felt like walking right into the arms of death.

Once I reached, the ISA would find out. And if I was lucky, I would find out where Clover was, and go there before the ISA could capture me.

Yes, I was doing this for Cloves. There was nothing selfish in my goal.

My watch started beeping, indicating that my sixteen hours and thirty-two minutes were up.

I had supposedly reached the White Realm.

But why was the white expanse still at a distance?

I ascended into my higher Spirit form, my vision diminishing at the brightness of myself. And only when I'd transformed, did I see it.

Delicate golden threads of light twirled around my Portal bubble, pulling me towards the large expanse of White. I watched with bated breath, half in awe, and half in fear. The White light was blinding as I approached it, so much that I had to close my eyes, unable to witness the soft magic unfolding around me.

And when I closed my eyes, I began to zoom through the dimensional corridors, the red, orange, yellow, green and blue, purple, white, and finally the darkroom that was now lit.

It matched the White expanse I'd been seeing when my eyes had been open.
I realised something, they were both the same.

This was where the dimensional corridor met reality.

I opened my eyes, which made no difference because I saw the White expanse yet again, stretching into infinity. My Portal bubble grew bigger and bigger, until it made a gentle pop, and dissolved into golden dust.

I found myself being reeled into the Whiteness around me, my form glowing brighter and brighter, and losing shape, narrowing into a beam of light, the highest form that every Spirit craved for.

Now Noah could call me a lightsaber too.

I peered through my bright light, wondering if the enlightened would approach me. According to Isaac, they would appear as soon as I'd transformed. And they would decide if I was worthy of the White Realm.

"Renee," I heard a bark, and I identified it to be Truffles. "Welcome to the White Realm."

A beam of light approached me, but my eyes could no longer see clearly, it was my heart. I felt the familiar playful energy of my dog, drifting towards me with happiness and pride.

"I am so proud of you, my dear," She said graciously. "I'm happy to have guided you well."

"Truffles?" I questioned, still shocked. "How are you here?"

"I am from here," Truffles the beam of light answered. "I am one of the highest Spirits, who temporarily took the form of your dog, to guide you and your family through the darkest times in your lives."

I felt happy after hearing what she said, it was strangely comforting.

"I also picked you, because you were the next Spirit we were going to welcome into the White Realm. I wanted to see if you were really deserving... And you were."

"I... Thank you so much, Truffles," I smiled as much as this form would let me. "Can I still call you Truffles?"

"Of course," Truffles replied. "Or you may use my real name, Lady Teresa."

I noticed that people reaching the White Realm adopted the title of Lord or Lady. Did that mean that I had to do it too?

"I have met you in my human life too," Now came up an old lady with a bright voice. "I was Mrs Green, your neighbour. Truffles and I died on the same day."

"Hello, Mrs Green," I said pleasantly, thinking about how she'd always yell at me from her garden, encouraging me to do drugs and get a boyfriend, and not wasting my teenage years on useless things like school.

I was surprised to see her too.

"I know what you're thinking Renee," She said with a knowing smile. "But I've lived a thousand lifetimes on Earth, and I know too much about life and death to remain there."

"She has been a Higher Spirit for the last hundred lifetimes," Truffles aka Lady Teresa added. "Which is why she values Earthly experiences more than knowledge."

I had a thousand questions in my head at that. But I remained quiet, waiting for all of them to talk.

"We have monitored your Spiritual growth, Renee," Said another voice, a male one this time. "And you have shown incredible improvement in the past two and a half months."

Something about this voice was vaguely familiar like I'd heard it in a distant dream.

"I am Isaac, Noah's friend," He answered like he knew what I'd been thinking. "Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you too," I replied.

I never thought I'd meet Isaac like this, without Noah. Seeing his powerful golden lightsaber form reminded me that he wasn't just a rebellious teen, but one of the Highest Spirits.

So, reaching the White Realm wasn't just his theory, he'd actually proved it. I read in his notes that once you reached the White Realm, you could never be severed. This means that he'd been in the White Realm all along.

I saw the individual beam of lights merge into a larger, brighter beam. And when this beam spoke, I could hear only one voice.

"We are the Enlightened. And you still have to pass the final test."

"Alright," I said nervously.

And then they drowned me into a blur of nothingness.

*****

At first, it was just the little girl playing on the swing, her innocent laughter echoing through the nearly empty park.

Unaware that she was being watched.

A man stood in the bushes, formulating a plan in his mind on how he was going to kidnap her. With a promise of a large sum of money, he was expected to kidnap her in the next fifteen minutes.

I somehow knew everything about this man. I also knew everything about the child. But how would this help me?

I saw him turning over the little sweet in his palm, one that would drug her instantly. Any minute now, his plan would be successful.

Unless I intervened.

Looking at the man, I saw his main motive to kidnap, the hefty sum of money that he had been promised. The money he would use to live a lavish life, the one he'd always wanted.

I could sense that the man's intentions behind his action weren't all bad. He just wanted to win his family back, and this felt like the easiest way to do that.

A better person would know that it wasn't.

The child was still squealing with delight, her little fingers reaching upwards as she imagined touching the sky.

Just like his son used to.

His son, whom he'd seen before his divorce, would be the same age as the little girl.

I planted more such thoughts in his head, one that would force him to turn away and toss the chocolate into the nearest bin.

Kidnapping a child? He'd been a pickpocket, done some robberies, but kidnapping had never entered his list until now.

Would causing misery to one child, give happiness to his son?

This guilt would stay with him for life. Every time he saw his son, he would remember this kidnapped girl.

The fifteen minutes were up.

And I knew that I'd passed the test when the man headed out, tossed the chocolate into the bin, while the child still laughed, narrowly escaping danger.

***

That wasn't the end of the test. A faint voice told me that I had more scenarios.

It showed me a scene from more than a year ago. Clover was sitting on the floor of her room, crying about her dad's death.

That had been her first ever prediction. She had a vision of a truck crashing into a black car, followed by people rushing her injured dad to the hospital.

It terrified her that it was exactly how all of it had happened.

Did this mean that she had subconsciously caused her dad's death?

Or was Grandma Phyllis right?

Grandma Phyllis had told Clover that she was a psychic, who could see visions of the future and communicate with the higher Spirits.

But Clover didn't want to be a weird psychic, she just wanted to be normal.

What did normal even mean?

Clover knew how society had ostracised her Grandma, and she didn't want that. She was ashamed of her talent, no matter how helpful it could be.

What if she could save lives?

Would she still be ashamed of being a psychic?

Clover thought hard, her hand subconsciously reaching out for the crystal her grandmother had given her. She was still hesitant, still afraid to reach out into the unknown.

You never know how great you can be unless you try!

Clover: a psychic? It sounded ridiculous.

What if it helped her find Mike again?

Mike.

The Mike she loved so much, and now she didn't even know where he was.

You won't know unless you try!

Maybe, manifestations worked.

Being a psychic didn't seem so stupid after all.

I smiled to myself.

Clover was still mulling over her decision. It would take her time, but my job was done. I'd planted the seed, and the Enlightened would ensure that it grew into a tree.

My surroundings changed, ushering me into my next scenario.

Something involving Sir Claudius and Shay.

*****