1st August 2019

NOAH

I heard something breaking.

I could still hear it.

...

Oh wait, that was the sound of my heart splitting into two.

I sat with my back against the slimy cave, not being able to feel anything physically, because the Before Realm was like the Earthly Realm, a solid world not a place for Spirits like me.

I wasn't able to feel anything emotionally either, that conversation with Renee left me numb, my voids more parched than ever.

Except for my jumbo sized void of pain.

A waterfall of tears flowed down my cheeks, and began to cry out loud, wondering why I always messed things up.

I told her that I loved her.

I told her that, so she would stay.

What was I even thinking? I was such an idiot... Did I really think that Renee wouldn't realise why I'd confessed? She was smart, so brilliantly smart, and she saw right through me, through my miserable, lying self.

When I said it, I thought I was lying. Did I really love her? I mean, it's only been two months, but I was deeply infatuated by this girl, this crazy woman with all these amazing qualities, her single smile enough to make me feel alive and human again...

Yes. Feeling like a human, like a sixteen year old, a hormonal teenager, this wasn't a common feeling for a Spirit. The ISA had managed to kill what was left of Noah Stark anyway, and made me the boring old Spirit Guide who praised the ISA.

Until she came. She rekindled the flames, left me burning for her and now, she had drowned me, like the tall waves of the sea.

I was angry with Renee Durvont. But I also loved her, and knew that she would be stubborn enough to not listen to me.

And despite possessing this much wisdom, I'd gone ahead and confessed.

I'd regretted it immediately. Not because I didn't love her, but because I said it at the wrong time and place. She was worried about Clover, she was panicking and frightened and yet she put on a brave face, feeling like this was the only choice she had.

Then I literally messed her up by confessing my love for her. The proof lay in the fact that she began to transform rapidly, ascending into her higher form in the blink of an eye.

To me, that was the most incredible thing I'd ever heard. And it's also the thing that struck me the most, because only pure, powerful and positive emotions can make you ascend like that.

Was it love? Was it happiness?

I didn't know. But at that moment, I knew that I wasn't alone in this love story.

Because Renee loved me too. It was the only explanation for her ascension.

I didn't tell her this, because it would only complicate things, and I didn't want to create a dent on her already broken confidence.

I think she'll find out too. She was sharp like that, and once the gears in her brain started spinning, she'd understand that what we both had wasn't something that would be destroyed in a matter of seconds.

Atleast, I hoped for that. A guy could hope.

Especially one hiding in a cave like me.

"Noah? Are you okay?" It was my violently unstable friend, approaching me carefully. Anything that came out of her vicious mouth would only make me feel worse.

Shay crouched in front of me, watching me as I hastily wiped my tears. She couldn't see me cry, not if she would use it against me later.
And I know for a fact that its exactly what she would do.

"Go away," I said. "I'm fine."

I wasn't fine. My heart throbbed in my chest, begging to be consoled like a weepy child.

"I have eyes, Noah," She said. "I can see."

Then she sat in cross legged in front of me, watching me like I was a mildly interesting television programme.

She didn't console me. She didn't even open her mouth.

She just stayed for me, waiting for me to speak up.

And at that moment, it was all I needed. Someone who would listen to me.

I began to talk, my voice all tiny and broken and barely audible. I hated hearing myself sound like that, like I was weak and powerless ...completely the opposite of your calm and collected Noah Stark.

"I love her, Shay. I love her, and she thinks I'm lying. She thinks that I was manipulating her, and I was... I'm a disgusting person."

I broke into sobs, and something told me that Shay wasn't going all harsh on me. She understood exactly what I felt, because this was what she'd felt all along.

A broken heart.

When I was beginning to doubt that Shay had somehow turned into a statue, she pulled me into a hug, my head on her shoulder. I was still crying, but I didn't care.

I only felt. I stopped thinking, because it only made it hard, the pain unbearable.
I only felt the emotions swirling through me, and tried to stabilise my voids. She patted my back, like I was a baby she was trying to put to sleep, only that I was wide awake, writhing from the pain.

And that made me cry more. Because, deep inside me, that was all I wanted. I was still a child, an overgrown baby and I was entitled to make mistakes.
And that was okay, right?

Hours later, Shay and I were sitting in the cave, not talking, simply thinking and enjoying the silence, adorned by the steady dripping sound of the water from the stalactites.

"Do you feel better?" She asked.

"No."

She sat up, and pushed her white blond hair off her face. Her minty eyes had a serious look about them, and she cleared her throat before speaking.

"Izzy, come out."

I whipped around, watching her face in shock. Izzy? Did she mean Isaac?

He was here?

I was actually right?!

Oh. My. God.

Isaac stepped from the shadows, his auburn hair spilling over his forehead, and he brushed it away with ease. He had new glasses now, making him look more refined, and he wore a simple shirt and trousers, like the goody two shoes he was.

I always imagined myself hurling abuses and tearing Isaac apart with scathing words, blaming him for not trying to contact me. But now that he was actually here, I didn't feel a thing.

I was simply stunned.

"Hi Noah," He said, like we had just met at a cafe. "I'm back."

I didn't say a word.

"I missed you, man. You were my brother, my little Noah, always supporting me for every tiny thing." He glanced up at me with his dark eyes, full of concern. "Ofcourse, you're not little anymore, infact you're taller than me."

He laughed as if he'd made a joke. Shay cracked a smile, but it vanished as soon as I threw her a look. Seeing her silence, Isaac stopped laughing, now watching me warily.

They both seemed terrified of me. I wondered what the reason was, but my mind pointed out that I could use this situation to my advantage.

So I shut my mouth and waited for Isaac to keep blabbering, before I could pounce on him at the right moment.

Did he think that he could come in here, crack jokes, call me his brother, and we'd be one happy family?

Bullshit.

I knew that he wanted something from me, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to show his nasty face.

"So, aren't you going to say anything?" He asked.

He saw right through me, didn't he?

No wonder I was little Noah.

"Marshmallow." I spoke, my voice husky. There, I said something.

Isaac laughed like I'd made a joke. I didn't know if he was trying to appease me or annoy me.

"So, Izzy met up with me last month," Shay started. "And he told me that he'd reached the White Realm."

I glanced at Isaac, who nodded earnestly.
I'd figured this much out already, he could only come back after being severed, if he'd reached the White Realm.

"We didn't tell you because, the time wasn't right. I mean, Claudius was still spying on you, and we thought you might expose Isaac by mistake," Shay said, looking straight into my eyes, and I immediately knew that she was lying.

She always looked at little too deeply into your eyes when she lied, like she didn't want to get caught.

"See Noah, Renee is destined to go to the White Realm. I know this, because the Enlightened are expecting her arrival. They're proud of her." He checked his watch. "I must go to welcome her too."

The Enlightened were those Highest Spirits who lived in the White Realm. The ISA told us that they didn't exist, but like everything, that was a lie too.

I nodded. Now Renee was going to be a part of the Enlightened too. Did she even know that they existed?

Damn, she was so unprepared, it made me nervous on her behalf.

"Don't worry," Isaac told me. "She's travelling somewhere beyond the eighth astral plane."

So it had been roughly six hours since she'd left.

"Noah, you don't need to worry about Renee, okay? We'll protect her here, as soon as she returns from saving her friend," Shay said sweetly.

"Infact, you guys can go into hiding for days here," Isaac informed. "Even weeks and months. I've planned it all."

"So you've built a secret base here, huh? To educate people to go to the White Realm?" I asked, finally deciding to speak up.

The way they exchanged a glance told me that I was right.

"Yeah, that's exactly what we've been doing," Isaac looked a little taken aback himself.

"And I wasn't told because Claudius would find out?" I raised an eyebrow, trying to see if they would affirm the lie or reveal the truth.

They were liars.

"Yeah, exactly!" Shay cheered. "Noah, you are so smart."

What a bitch.

And to think I was crying on her shoulder a few hours ago...

"Well, there's another reason too," Isaac added, after seeing my grimace. "We're sending people into the White Realm today, as soon as the ISA is alerted about Renee."

"What?" I gaped at him. "You're using my girlfriend's goal for your dirty scheme?"

"It's for the well being of all of us." Isaac assured. "Besides, we're going to protect her once she reaches, and hide her here."

"Did you even hear me? How dare you plan such a thing without my knowledge? How could you put Renee into such a huge risk!" I ran my fingers through my hair, frustrated.
"And Renee is so mad at me, that she wouldn't even talk to me!"

This explained why it was all a secret. Why they both seemed terrified of me.
How they've made me feel worse than I could possibly feel.

I stood up, trying to see if there was a way out of this cave. I was going to go after Renee, to make sure that she was alright.

"Noah, you can't escape," Isaac informed coolly.

"Haha, fight me then," I laughed like a mad person.

"We really don't want this to turn violent," Isaac said, his voice measured.

"I don't give a shit," I snarled.

"Well, unfortunately, we do," Shay answered, before snapping her fingers.

Immediately ten other Spirits entered the room, trapping me into a bubble that resembled the ones made by the Portal maker. I saw Isaac watching me with a smirk, crossing his arms like he was finally revealing how much he loathed me, and I realised that I felt the same.

"We're not just two people, Noah," Shay answered. "We're a whole army."

"And we," Isaac paused, his smirk widening, "We are the Astrascends."

*****

(A/N: I've missed writing Noah's pov, and it really shows!
What do you think is going to happen to Noah?

Also, what do you think of Isaac? Is he really going to help Noah, or does he have other plans?)