Some less than inspirational thoughts (1)

Smoking is bad for you

but

If you must smoke…

Wear a Condom.

The grass only looks greener 

on the other side of the fence

because

the bastard has astroturf.

If we learn by our mistakes

then I must be the smartest fuck alive.

Look into your children’s eyes.

What do you see?

They are on drugs, aren't they?

Even an unpolished stone

can knock some dude senseless.

Beauty is an interpretation of what we see.

After 8 beer everything is beautiful.

I’ve never went to bed with an ugly woman

but

I have had to chew my arm off a couple times in the morning to escape.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

iPads don't roll.

If smiles are infectious

then

why are there so many miserable sons of bitches.

If one person likes your writing

then chances are

they have lousy taste.

April 27, 2014