Language

The hardest part about being a pet is learning the language.

Now, humans, with their huge heads and supposedly superior brains should have no problem. Right?

Wrong.

Though I am still learning the human language, I picked up on the basics pretty quickly. Although I did have a problem at first learning my name. For my first 10 years, I wasn't sure if my name was:

"Stop that."

"Get down."

"Don't scratch."

"Don't eat that."

"Get out of the plants."

What was I to think? The only thing that saved me and helped me learn my name was the word Storm seemed to pop up before each of the other phrases, so I figured it must be Storm.

I remember Dad saying to Mom once, "I'm sure she has a human brain." A human brain. Comeon Dad. You haven't even learned my language and mine is so simple.

Now Mom and Dad have picked up on some of the basics. For instance; In the morning, when I rub against Mom's leg, purr and quickly say, "Meow. Meow. Meow." she immediately says, "Does my little Stormy want some breakfast?"

Of course I want breakfast. I haven't eaten all night.

But that's pretty much it.

Take the other morning for instance. I walked into the living room, sat on the rug, clawed it a little and very clearly said,

"Meow. Meow. Meow! Meow?"

How much clearer could I be.

Mom looks at me and asks, "What does my Storm want."

"Meow!

Poopy pan is dirty!"

"Stormy wants to play?"

"Meow? Meow, meow.

What? No. Stormy needs to poop."

"Stormy wants a treat?

"Meow? Meow, meow. Meow! Meow!

What? Oh, of course I do. No Mom, get with the program. I need the poopy pan cleaned."

"Mommy get Stormy a treat."

"Meeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwwwww."

Thank Bast, Dad said, "While you do that, I will go and clean the cat pans."

Thank you Dad. At least you understood.

The good part of all this. While Dad cleaned the poopy pans, Uncle Shadow and I got some treats. As soon as Dad cleaned one poopy pan, I happily had a poop. Why is it every time I do that, Dad gets this strange look on his face.

So, it might take some time, but eventually they will understand me, even though Uncle Shadow says not to count on it. He has been trying for over 60 years and they still only know a few basic words. Well I got the time.

And, really, think about it. Is it really that difficult to understand.

"Meow?"

Paw note : Bast is the Egyptian goddess of cats.

© December 26, 2012

Paw note : Dad says I should copyright my work just in case Garfield decides to steal it.