“Are you tired of ringing doorbells?

Of those irritating and aggravating solicitations, polls, friends and relatives?

Well K-Tell special products has the answer for you.

Its the Digital, Programmable FRONT DOOR MAT.

Yes…

Finally you can customize your front door mat to say exactly what you want it to say.

You can choose from our selection of preprogrammed sayings…”

~ Do you have an appointment?

~ By appointment only

~ Ignore the little red dot on your forehead.

~ Religion is not a door to door commodity.

~ If you are reading this....

   It is already too late.

~ I cannot be held responsible for any injuries sustained when you fall through the trap door.

~ This mat will self destruct in 5 .. 4 .. 3 .. 2 .. 1.

~ Were you invited? If not, I'm not home.

~ Walk-ins not welcome.

~ Teenagers live here. Be afraid, be very afraid.

~ Reservations required.

~ Welcome >>> to leave.

~ I gave at the office, twice.

~ Whatever you are selling. I already have.

~ Does it look like I am home?

~ Are you sure you want to ring that bell?

~ Menopausal woman. Need we say more.

“Or customize you mat with your very own saying.

Perhaps you have too many solicitors…

~ You are standing on a weight sensitive mat. The doorbell is the detonator. If you step off you will be blown to hell.

P.S. On holidays. See you in two weeks.

~ Hungover. Go the FCUK away.

Perhaps family and neighbours are a problem…

~ No beer? No entry.

~ You are now entering...The Twilight Zone

~ Have a nice day. Now go the other way.

~ This property protected by Tarantulas. (Look down.)

~ If i were you, I would run. NOW. RUN.

~ Admission charged.

$20 for adults

$30 for relatives

$50 for in-laws

Grand kids welcome

And of course there are your kids friends…

~ I am 75 and i flash.

~ I'm 65 and nude.

~ Tell me punk. Do you feel lucky today?

~ My daughter is grounded until she is 30.

~ My son is available and we are willing to pay half the rent.

“Yes, Finally, it is the Digital, Programmable FRONT DOOR MAT.

Just $19.95 from K-Tell special products.

ORDER NOW …..

And we will send you a second programmable mat….

ABSOLUTELY FREE….

That’s 2 digital programmable front door mats for just…

$19.95

(plus $20 shipping and handling)

Put the second mat at your back door, your front lawn, in front of your garage, you man den or even your bedroom door for those special moments when you don't want the kids to walk in on you.

ORDER NOW !!!!!!!

QUANTITIES ARE LIMITED !!!!!

2 … Count them, 2 …

DIGITAL PROGRAMMABLE FRONT DOOR MATS

JUST

$19.95

(plus $20 shipping and handling, appropriate taxes and $25 environmental fees)

K-Tell special products are not responsible for any injuries due to electrocution or fire that may result from improper use.

Injuries sustained by crazed solicitors, friends, relatives, religious sects, or the police due to inappropriate messages are not the responsibility of K-Tell special products.

Use at your own risk.