june 16

"mark, mark, mark," she whispers over and over. "mark, this is where you've been?" she pats the dirt, not caring that her whole outfit was getting stained with mud. "aren't you cold, mark? it's raining, too, so don't get sick out here."

haechan steps closer to her and kneels so that he can face her. her head snaps up towards him, and he cups her face. he looks deep into her eyes, which—once filled with happiness—are now filled with a dark emptiness.

"y/n," he says. it is one simple word, but all she needs to hear to start crying.

she scoots forward and hugs haechan tightly. "haechan, how could he leave me? so alone?" she sobs.

"he never left. not you, not me. he's still here with us. so talk to him, y/n. tell him everything you've been texting him."

she pulls out of his embrace and squeezes the plushie she had gotten mark.

"mark..." she calls tentatively. "can you hear me?" she swallows hard. "if so, i just wanted to say...i just...i..." she wipes her tears. "i'm sorry, mark. i'm so sorry, so, so, so, so sorry. i'm sorry, mark. i never meant anything i said. you know that. i just got angry."

the memories slowly come...

"fuck off!" mark yells. "you knew that i loved her! why would you tell her that i cheated?"

"you don't understand, mark!"

"oh, i don't? now it's my fault?"

"i love you, mark! that's fucking why!"

he drops his phone, and it shatters on the floor. the texts she will send will never be read. mark doesn't even notice his shattered phone; too shocked by the news.

"w-what?" he can't help it—a look of disgust can be seen on his face. "you told my girlfriend i cheated because you had a stupid crush on me? we're basically siblings. what kind of stupid excuse for a best friend are you?"

"the best friend that knew she was bad for you! she got you into drinking and drugs and smoking, mark!"

"so what if i drink and smoke and do drugs?" he asks, pulling out a cigarette. y/n slaps it out of his hand, but he simply pulls out another.

"y-your health!"

he snorts. "and?"

she throws her hands up. "you know what, do it then! smoke and do drugs and drink just to look cool for a girlfriend who only wants your fame and money! go die, for all i care." she throws her car keys at him, hitting him square in the chest. instinctively, he catches it. "go! get out of my house! go and die on your way home! it's raining, so i hope you crash. i hope i'll never see your face again."

he rolls his eyes and walks forward, bumping her with his shoulder. she is knocked down onto the floor and hisses from the pain. she knows she will have bruises.

"oh, oops," he says coldly. "didn't see you there. it just happens to be that my best friend disappeared."

he walks out before he can see her crying her heart out on the cold floor.

"mark, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i know you loved your girlfriend, but i was a stupid, jealous person. i'm sorry i told you to die, and i wish everyday that our last words weren't just us fighting, please, mark, come back for me, come back!"

her voice becomes hysterical. "come back! come back! i need you to live, i need you! without you i can't survive! MARK, YOU WERE MY DRUG!" she pulls at her hair, silently screaming because of an internal, aching pain.

she pounds his gravestone over and over again. "I. HATE. YOU." she spits out in between each punch. her knuckles begin to bleed, but she doesn't care. "for leaving me so broke, so lost, so lonely. this is all YOUR FAULT."

she leans against the gravestone and cries harder. "oh, mark, what do i do without you? i'm not okay without you. i need you, so badly."

haechan squeezes her shoulder once, gently bringing her back to reality. "y/n, it's time to go. the cemetery is closing."

she nods, then turns back to look at the engraved message on his gravestone.

don't lose hope. there are always other possibilities, it states.

she kisses the picture of him. it was always one of her favorite pictures of him. haechan had taken it.

"i love you, mark."

haechan pulls her up and gets her home, but everything is a blur for her.

what will she do without him? when their last words were yelled and shouted and angry?

somewhere along the way, she gets home and changes. the last thing she remembers is haechan stroking her hair while his arms are wrapped around her.