REALITY GIRL.
[ PROLOGUE: THE ORIGIN STORY ]
❝ THE MAN CHILD AND
THE BITCHY TEENAGER. ❞

Buddy Risa wasn't keen on going to school ever since the mere age of four when she first set foot in preschool. The teachers had bored her the second they began talking. Quite frankly, Buddy wasn't exactly interested in learning the alphabet all over again since her mother and father had already taught her it the year before. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't great at making friends, especially during recess. Everyone thought she was either annoying or mean due to her nonstop word vomit and offensive bluntness. Kids her age wanted to play while she wanted to discuss why the sky was blue but space was black. Buddy Risa was a "total weirdo" as the little kids called her.

Aw poor Bubbles. Those little demons hated your annoying young ass.

I swear to God Wade you always have to shove in your input for everything!

Hello, Merc with a Mouth ring a bell?

Not in 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, ya fucked up burnt penis clear packaging tape covered in shitty sharpie marks dum dum lookin ass.

BUBBLES! You know we don't talk about that!

Then shut the hell up and let the author write my story.

Isn't it our story, sweet cheeks?

Don't make me kick your dick again, Wade.

Ooh, kinky and rhymey. Two for two!

I hope you die peacefully in dog shit.

Middle school and high school weren't very much different. The teachers were still either too tedious, difficult to understand, or she already knew what they were trying to explain in class. It didn't help that they made her stay completely still in an uncomfortable plastic chair for six hours— minus lunch where she could roam free around campus for a couple minutes. However, the kids were far more different than little preschoolers. They didn't care about anyone but themselves. (So much for those cheesy "love everyone" songs from preschool. They should've made "no one cares if your drinking a Starbucks frappuccino while posting your best friends' nudes that she sent to your boyfriend" songs. Now those would have been extremely useful.)

High school was hell and Buddy would do anything to get away from the place whether it would be asking to go to the bathroom all throughout the day or call in sick. But eventually she got in trouble for all her absences and tardies which brought her back to square one. The only short escape she got was lunch time. Unfortunately, lunch wasn't that long and eating in the bathroom wasn't all that great. The cycle was always the same everyday. Take the bus to school, be invisible all through first and third period, eat lunch in the bathroom then walk around, be invisible again through fourth and sixth period, and finally take the bus home.

It was a simple boring cycle that Buddy had to live with for six years. Luckily for her, Bubby only had one more year left to go. However, that repetitive cycle was cut short during lunch on a Friday afternoon. Buddy had gotten her Hello Kitty lunch box from her locker and went over to the girl's bathroom to eat. But when she entered what she saw wasn't stalls and sinks but a dirty looking living room with old burrito wrappers and Hello Kitty band aids on the floor along with a little toy unicorn on the couch.

At first Buddy had thought her mind was so tiresome of school that it had created something strange to keep her awake. That thought had changed as soon as she continued to walk around the weird foreign place and inspect it. It all looked and felt so real. By the time Buddy was about to check out the other spots of the place she heard the bell ring. And on instinct she exited the room and walked to fourth period.

All she kept thinking about while walking over to her class was that it had to have been her imagination. But a nagging feeling continued on bothering her deep inside. Did she just open a door to a different dimension? Stuff like that didn't happen unless you were in a superhero movie or Monsters Inc. Then again, there's no impossible without possible.

Just when Buddy had convinced herself it was her mind playing tricks Buddy had found herself in that same dirty room when she entered her fourth period door. Only this time when she went back to go outside she was met with a six foot tall leather red clad man holding the same small unicorn she saw earlier on the couch.

"You're not the hooker I ordered," was all that Buddy heard from the strange man before she screamed and kicked him hard in the crouch.

It wasn't the most pleasant way for an anti-hero to meet his sidekick but somehow it worked out in the end. With dumb nicknames, matching outfits, over the top intro lines, and all. Be that as it may, it wasn't all sunshines and rainbows for the two at first. Wade's dick was majorly damaged and Buddy was scared shitless. When the eighteen year old tried to open all his doors to go back to where she came from all she was met with was more dirty rooms of his home. Buddy was stuck with this peculiar man with no way to get back to where she belonged.

After months of trying to find her way back (with the help of Wade who was happy to supply her with a place to crash, but in all honesty he just wanted someone to talk to) it finally dawned to Buddy that she wasn't going home anytime soon.

Despite their rough start the two in the long run had bonded over their love for food (latino especially), the way they handled their inner pain by using humor, breaking the fourth wall, eighties music, Hello Kitty, and the legendary dweeb known as Peter Parker (Wade liked Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man best while Bubbles was more of a Tom Holland girl).

Much like all cliché comics, the anti-hero was the first to make the move on nicknames for his little sidekick. Wade had said Buddy reminded him of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls while they were binge watching the show at three am when Buddy had said she was craving pancakes and throwback shows. She looked innocent and pure, but she could kick ass when it came down to it. What really sealed the deal was the color of her hair which was blue just like Bubbles' suit and so the nickname just stuck. Along with her sidekick name: Reality Girl, which was just a joke Wade had made when Buddy had opened the bathroom door only to almost fall out of an airplane. Oddly enough, Buddy took an interest in the name. Wade, although, did not like the nickname she gave him one bit. Freddy Krueger Ninja Baby Fried Fucked Up Dick Dum Dum Lookin' Ass was too long and unoriginal for his taste.

Who knew a man child and a bitchy teenager would make one hell of a team?

The author did, obviously.

WADE! What did I just say?! God, I'm so glad I lost you in New York.

— NOT EDITED
WORD COUNT: 1,281
— and so the story begins! i hope this origin story didn't suck that much. i tried to make it short and sweet so i didn't shove a bunch of words down your throats.

[ DEDICATED TO yarashadihi !! ONE OF
MY FAVES WHEN IT COMES TO MARVEL
FANFICS AND SCOTT MCCALL FANFICS! ]