The kiss felt magical; it was as if time had slowed down. I could feel her love from just that kiss, as though the world around us disappeared. Her soft lips against mine were warm and tender, and for a moment, it felt like I was kissing a marshmallow—light, soft, and completely comforting. It was nothing like I'd ever felt before. I could taste the sweetness of her lips, and it made me feel... safe.

I was about to kiss her back, to give her something in return, but before I could make a move, she suddenly pulled away. My heart raced as she started walking backwards, keeping a safe distance. Her eyes, wide with something I couldn't quite place, looked at me with a mixture of fear and confusion.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, her voice breaking with the kind of vulnerability I hadn't expected. Then, in the blink of an eye, she turned and started running. She ran faster than I thought she could, her feet barely touching the ground as she darted away from me.

At that moment, I didn't care if I woke the neighbours. I didn't care if the whole world saw what was happening. I had to follow her, to understand why she was running. I couldn't let her get away like this. I started sprinting after her, calling her name over and over.

"Gabriella! Wait!"

The night air was cold, and my breath came in ragged gasps as I pushed myself to keep up. Her silhouette became smaller and smaller, but I wasn't about to let her slip from my grasp. I didn't even notice the cold biting at my skin, only the distance between us.

She was almost at her car when I caught up. I reached out, grabbing her wrist, my fingers trembling as I stopped her from getting in. She froze, her hand gripping the door handle, and for a split second, I thought she might push me away. But then she just stood there, silent.

I tried to speak, to ask her what was wrong, but my lungs were burning. I had never run that fast in my life, and now every breath was laboured.

When I finally caught my breath, I looked into her eyes, desperate for some kind of answer. "Why are you running, Gabriella?"

When she turned around, I saw the tears in her eyes. Her face was flushed, her lips trembling, and she was clutching at her jeans as if they were the only thing keeping her grounded. Seeing her like that, looking so fragile, broke something inside of me. I reached up, gently cupping her cheeks with both hands, as if trying to hold the pieces of her together.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice barely audible. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and I could feel her body trembling. Without thinking, I stood on my tiptoes, my hand still cupping her face, and kissed her again. This time, the kiss was different. It wasn't hurried or desperate. It was full of need, but also of something more tender, more real.

She paused for a second, her breath caught in her throat. Then, slowly, she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me closer to her. Her body was warm against mine, and I could feel her heartbeat matching mine, racing, yet somehow in sync. I bent my neck back to meet her lips again, but she kept shifting, her face constantly changing position as if she couldn't get enough. Every time we pulled apart, she would close the distance between us almost immediately, like a magnet pulling us back together.

I could feel my breath getting shallower. My chest was heaving as I struggled to keep up. But she didn't seem to care. She was smiling, her eyes alight with some kind of fire that I couldn't fully understand. I pushed her back gently, just enough to catch my breath. She looked at me desperately, then smiled again. It was that smile, that mischievous grin, the one that made me weak at the knees every time I saw it.

"Wanna take this to your room?" she whispered in my ear, her voice low and full of promise.

The way she said it made my face flush crimson, and I suddenly forgot how to speak. My mind went blank, and for a moment, I was frozen in place.

"I-I..." I stuttered, my throat dry. The words wouldn't come.
Gabriella chuckled, the sound light and playful. And then, in that quiet moment, she whispered something that made my heart stop for a brief second.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."
Her words hung in the air, and I could feel them sink deep into my chest, like they were echoing in my mind, replaying over and over. Those five words had always been a part of me, lingering in the back of my mind. It was like hearing a song that had been stuck in your head for years, and suddenly, it became real. But they didn't bring the comfort I thought they would. Instead, they made me feel... something I couldn't describe. Something uneasy.

I must've looked uncomfortable, because Gabriella stepped back slightly and asked, "Are you okay?" Her tone softened, full of concern. But I didn't know how to answer her. My mind was racing with memories from my past, memories I didn't want to revisit. My heart ached, my chest felt tight, and I knew I couldn't let things go any further.

"S-sorry, Gabriella, not tonight," I said, forcing a smile. My voice was unsteady, but I hoped she didn't notice.

She didn't seem to believe me, but she kissed me gently on the cheek. It was a soft, reassuring kiss—one that made me feel both grateful and sad at the same time.

She walked to her car, starting the engine. The sound of the engine humming broke the silence between us. She didn't seem angry, or frustrated. Instead, she looked at me with such gentleness in her eyes that it almost made me want to break down.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable," she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she put the car into gear.

I nodded, feeling the weight of her words more than I cared to admit.

"Gabriella, just know that it's not you, okay?" I said, trying to clear the air between us. I wanted her to understand that this wasn't about her—it was about me, and the mess I was struggling to untangle. But she just nodded, her face softening, and then she leaned over and kissed me quickly on the lips.

The kiss was brief but filled with something unspoken, something that lingered long after she drove away. I watched as the headlights of her car disappeared down the street, my heart heavy, my mind filled with too many thoughts.

I pulled out my phone, fingers trembling as I dialled my manager's number. The phone rang, and I tried to steady my breath, but my hands wouldn't stop shaking.

When my manager finally answered, his voice was gruff.
"Hello?" he said, clearly irritated.
"Manager, I won't be able to make it tomorrow. I'm sick," I said, faking a cough.
"Alright, tomorrow won't be busy, but you'll still need to call someone to cover for you," he said, his tone softening just a bit.
"Yeah, sure," I replied, the conversation feeling distant as I hung up.

I sat down on my bed, my body heavy with exhaustion. I changed into my pyjamas, trying to shake off the evening's events. But the images of Gabriella, of her smile and the weight of her words, kept replaying in my mind. I tried to push them away, but it was no use. I couldn't forget the way she looked at me, how her eyes seemed to plead for something more, and yet I couldn't bring myself to give it to her.

I lay down, staring at the ceiling. The room was quiet except for the soft ticking of the clock. But in my mind, it was loud. I couldn't silence the memories, the guilt, the pain. Gabriella's touch lingered on my skin, and I hated myself for not being able to give her what she wanted.

The truth was, I wasn't ready. And I wasn't sure I ever would be. My past haunted me, and I couldn't bring myself to let her in. I wasn't sure I was strong enough to handle it.

I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would bring some kind of relief, but the thoughts of her lingered, and I knew that tomorrow would bring more questions than answers.

*****

END OF CHAPTER 5!

Q: A character you relate to

A: gangle from digital circus