'Valkyrie: Life of a Warrior' Book by MarvelDan6

Cover: It matches both the story and genre perfectly. 5 points.

Title: Like I always say, the longer the title is the easier it will be for readers to forget it. It may match the story line well but I still feel that you should shorten the title. 7 points.

Summary/Blurb: The summary was properly executed and I'm sure it will draw in more readers. 10 points.

Plot: Sweetie, it's a known fact that, the first of everything is important. Now I'm not talking about first kisses or first heart break here. I'm talking about first chapters and or paragraphs. The first paragraph was good everything sort of went down hill, when you introduced too many characters. You didn't give the readers time to divulge into your story properly and because of that, you story is a character driven story. 15 points.

Character development: Honestly I can't see this at all. Given that your story is based on the main character's thoughts and action, she seems childish. (No offence), there's a difference between having flawed characters and having characters who have no sense of direction. Please take it back to the drawing board and see if you can flesh out your characters a bit more. 8 points.

Stye of writting: I'm just going to say off the top of my head, that you are using first person and an informal style of writting. Dearie it may be the easier form of writting but you are not doing it any justice. Try writting from another style or you could improve it by reading other books with the same style. 5 points.

Grammar: I spotted some missing punctuations, misspelt words and wrong paragraph alignment. 5 points.

Total: 55 points.

Now here's my advice♤

It's obvious you know what you want to write and where you want to take the story to.

The problem is the you need to flesh out your characters more, think critically on what should happen and get an editor or correct your errors yourself.

I'm all in for details but yours has little of that and when you do give details, you give it at the worst possible timing.

Also there is alot of telling going on here, JJ's mom is rich right? Then instead of constantly tell us, why don't you just show us, maybe by making the press follow her around? Have a trusty side kick everywhere she goes? Or maybe you could give us some info on why she is a public school, if her mom is as rich as she claims?

I really hope that I didn't come out as a salty person. It just pisses my off when a good book with potential is not executed out properly. Please tackle this one more and I'm sure you will get what you want.

Have a nice day♤