'Trapped in a tale' Book by RoyalPurple123

Cover: It's eye catching and I love how you blended the colours but it doesn't give a reader much insight on what the book entails. 3 points

Title: Short and sweet. At first glance, I would think that it is about dream or has a reference to time travel but you proved me wrong. Although I'm not sure that it's the right fit for the book. 6 points.

Summary/Blurb: Honestly Dearie, your blurb is the favorite thing I love about your book. It's among the few that I have seen that do not need a dialogue to get straight to the point. 10 points.

Plot: It took me a really long time to grasp what's going on and frankly I could not get passed chapter 3. I know it's disheartening, seeing that I took almost a whole month to upload this. Your book has the potential to make it but the way you execute it is not working out. You literally fell into the whole show not tell fiasco, (no worries, I've been there before). Then I couldn't follow the story because it wasn't holding the usual pizzaz, (you know, the things that make people want to start reading your book then finish it.) 10 points.

Character development: It's a know fact that if you can't follow a story, then you most defiantly can't follow the character's through their journey. Although I have a question, what's the deal with this Dave character? 10 points.

Style of writting: First person and informal, it's a classic style and it is loved by many. Sweetie you didn't do a good job executing it, at all. There were parts that needed some light to be shed on or a comedic relief to be showed but I did not see any of that. 5 points.

Grammar: Ah yes, the one that kicks our behind in every aspect of life. It has kicked everyone and it sure as well didn't miss you. 5 points.

Total: 49 points

Now here's my advice♤

I'm just going to be very honest with you, it may sound brutal but sugar coating things will get us no where.

It's very obvious that you know how you want this story to go but the problem is that you are not doing it very well.

I've had a very rough month and I think your book gave me a headache. I mean the story line is very unique, (I'm not saying that to praise you, I'm speaking the actually truth. I have never seen anything like it.)

The best thing that I can tell you to do right now is take a deep breathe, clear your mind and think deeply.

The question you should ask yourself is Does this look too far fetched?

Your book is about a child who goes on an adventure with her best friend, with the help of a book that is meant to guide them to find a cure for the illness that her mom is suffering from. And to add the cherry on top, a company is out to get her. (Correct me if I'm wrong but I think that was the story you painted out for your readers to see.)

On the top of my head, your an Amature so it's not your fault because practice makes perfect.

You could use an an old trick like starting off with a clichè and making it seem less clichè. I've seen a lot of Authors do this trick and it worked out for them, maybe it may work out for you.

But if that doesn't help, you can try reading books under the genre you want to write on and map out everything, right to the T.

Especially your characters, you might not know it but the world you create revolves around them and their opinions.

I think that's about it, hope this was helpful.

More info♤♤

For those of you still waiting your review, I'm getting right to it now. So hopefully before Aug 8 I will be done. That's the day I resume Uni and I plan on reading Vetenairy Medicine. So I won't be free to continue this review shop.

Hence the reason why I closed it, I'll do the forms that are there now but I won't take more till Christmas.

Have a nice day♤