'The Time Triology (by Ben Justice) Book by CptTbone13

Cover: I think that the cover is the perfect fit for the book. 5 points.

Title: It's pretty long, I suggest that you remove the words in the bracket and put it on the cover of the book as the Author. 7 points.

Summary/Blurb: Short sweet and straight to the point. I know that some people add dialogue to their blurbs but yours is perfect just the way it is. 10 points.

Plot: It was original but not perfect. One thing I noticed is that you made the rookie mistake that most if not all writers make, you told almost the full story. Now don't get me wrong, logically as a writer you are telling a story (by typing it into a book for people to read). Now the people who are going to read your book are not dumb, (if they were I'm not sure they would know to operate a phone). My point is that the plot was exciting at first but it was hard to keep up with it.  19 points.

Character development: All through the book you can see how Robert grew, I like how you showed this part in his actions and thoughts. 25 points.

Style of writing: First person and informal go hand in hand, you did a good job in writing like that. 10 points.

Grammar: Your punctuations are on point, I only saw one wrong tense. 9 points.

Total: 85 points.

Now here's my advice♤

As writers we work hard for our stories and I can see the effort in yours.

The only issue with your book is how you structured your plot. Mind you, your chapters are in sync but are missing dialogue and description.

There are hardly any adverbs or adjectives to help out and explain what is going on.

Take for example, when Robert's mother died.

Be honest with yourself, did you cry?

It is a known fact that whatever a writers feels when he or she types, will reflect in his or her work.

I'm going to go on a hunch and say you weren't sad when writing that part but your characters were sad.

Do you get where I'm going with this? You have to add a little more effort for  the readers to catch on to what is going on.

As I said earlier, the readers are not dumb. Sure they need a little push in the right direction to know what is going on, but trust me when I say that they have a good head on their shoulders.

Sweetie don't feel bad but you can't say everything out for your readers.

Take the relationship between Robert and Emma as a case study, you said that they have been dating for a while and they like each other a lot. You can't rush it down to the T, it has to be shown. And you can't say everything all at once, that way you can keep up a good amount of suspense.

I'll make a chapter about this show and tell situation but for now just please google it.

The book has a good sense of direction and you know what you are doing. Just get the breakdown of the plot in order and I'm sure you will have more readers.

"I'd rather die a brave man than to live as a coward." -THEO

Have a nice day♤