'Angel' Book by @Linajollys

Cover: Simple and original. 5 points.

Title: Since it is about the girl, I'll give you a thumbs up for your work ethic. It's mysterious in a way and it would draw readers. 10 points.

Summary/Blurb: There are alot of errors and it is very boring. I suggest you take it back to the drawing board and give it another shot. 5points.

Plot: I have no idea what you are trying to portray. I gathered that the main character is starting a new school, where she hopes she won't get bullied. On her first day it happens and she can't do anything about it and the new friends she makes aren't helpful at all. I skipped to the ending to see where you were going but the end goal is still in blurry lines. 15 points.

Character development: So far I could only get that Beth is bossy and West is a jerk, nothing else I could pick up. A character in your book are fictional people who are not perfect and they need to grow with the plot to set things going. 10 points.

Style of writting: The characters thoughts should be on a different paragraph from the others. First person is easy and cheap but it has its own rules. I like how you italicize the thoughts, it makes it easier to know what is going on in their head. 7 points.

Grammar: Ranging from punctuation to spellings, need more work on those and try typing using auto correct it helps. 5 points.

Total: 52 points.

Here's the advice.

First off I suggest reading books that are written with your genre, that way you know where you are headed with the story and how to write it.

I love how you showed and told what was going on. The characters need more work to be put into, they don't seem real (I know it's fictional, just go with it), they don't act like how a real person should in situations.

Take when Max found out what happened to his sister for example; I get that he would be out for blood but leaving her alone immediately he found out is not a smart move. No six-year-old knows how to make cookies let alone drug people. When I was that age I was thinking of becoming a disney princess.

Then the grammar is a major turn off.  Try and edit it more or get an editor to help you out.

'A small drop in an ocean can make a big difference.' - THEO

I hope this was helpful because you have the potential and you've got the story, sleep on it and you will make it better because good things take time.

Have a nice day ♤