"Get out!" The shrieks come from Katniss's house. I have no doubt in my mind that it's her. "Go away! There's nothing left for you here!" She yells.

Oh no. What's going on.

Cautiously, as if my heavy footsteps from three houses away might disturb the ruckus, I slip out of the shower and grab the light blue towel hanging over the towel rail around my waist. I can't believe it's still there since before the quell.

"She's not coming back! She's never coming back here again!" Katniss screams.

Oh, I know exactly what she's talking about.

Massive sobs and a fit of crying is all that follows, and it doesn't seem to stop.

What should I do? Go over there and see if she's ok?
No, like you said, she's better off without you. If you go over there it'll just make things worse.
But I can't just leave her to suffer.
Just wait a moment and see what happens.

I sit on the edge of my bed and clutch my knees. It's like another internal battle all over again, except instead of deciding whether or not to kill her I'm deciding whether or not to help her. I'm sick of these! And they always seem to revolve around her.

The frustration that comes with this leads to frustration and in fear that I'm going to have a flashback again, I rush downstairs and take an anti tracker jacker venom pill without hesitation. Hopefully since I got on top of it in time, the side effects won't be quite so severe.

I can't have a flashback this early in my arrival back home. I can't let people know how much of a struggle it has already been.

As I make my way back upstairs to get dressed, as suddenly as they came, the wails coming from Katniss's house stop. Silence is all that follows.

Carefully, I tip toe back into my room as quietly as I can, soft thuds echoing each time I step on my prosthetic foot, so as not to upset her and set her off again. I pace the floor trying to calm myself down.

It's not real Peeta.
She's ok.
All these thoughts aren't real.

The pill starts to take effect and I feel myself calming down. It takes a while but I manage to refocus and get myself dressed into some clean clothes.

What should I do now? I need to keep my mind off her. I begin by unpacking my bags and filling the drawers and closet with what few clothes I have left with me.

After a while no matter what I do I can't help my thoughts wandering back to her.

It has been a long time since there's been any noise from her house.... What if she's -
"No!" I gasp out loud. "Don't even think it." I mumble a little quieter.
Great, I'm still talking to myself. Will I ever get better?

Terror creeps into my skin and I can't fight the urge to go check on her. I slip out the door and scuff down to her house. Cautiously as if there is a dark feel to the atmosphere I tentatively walk up the steps to her house and twist the door handle. To my surprise it is unlocked. I guess Greasy Sae left it unlocked after she left.

What are you doing Peeta? I think as I step through the door slowly.

The place is trashed. Things have been thrown everywhere and even though Sae has supposedly been looking after the place it still just smells musty and looks like a mess.

I peer around the corner into her lounge nervously and see her passed out on the couch. A trail of old sticky tears coat both her cheeks and her hair is plastered to her face. It's obvious she's been crying. On the floor beside her sits a giant ginger tom cat. He looks familiar but I can't quite place him. He glares at me then looks back to Katniss and just watches her.

I don't know what's wrong with her. Hopefully she's just exhausted. Before thinking, I scoop her tiny frame into my arms and even in my weak state she still feels light in my fragile arms. I can feel her bones sticking into me. It hurts, but I carry her up the stairs and to her bedroom. I look down at her scarred face and a terrifying image of her with beady red eyes and snarling sharp teeth as she is about to bite me flashes through my mind.

Mutt.

It's so vivid. I stop with a stumble halfway up the stairs and lean against the handrail.

It's not real. I remind myself over and over again.

I grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes. Not here. Not now. This is the worst place. I open my eyes again and see plain old Katniss's there instead of the mutt.

Continuing up the stairs I get to her room and tuck her into bed. When I turn around I see the cat has followed me upstairs. It jumps up and sits on the end of her bed. I don't intend to disturb it and after my recent memory I want to get out of here as quickly as possible so I just leave it there, gently click the door shut to her room then head back downstairs and out to my house.

Once I'm back I collapse on the armchair with a huff. I haven't been this bad for weeks now. It's all becoming confusing again. I guess that is what I should've expected coming back home though. I sit there for a few minutes just trying to un-tense myself and rubbing my temples with a sigh.

When I get to go up there is a knock at the door. I freeze. Instantly thinking it's Katniss.

Why is she here? What does she want?

Curiously I peak out the curtain to see Sae waiting patiently at the door.
Oh yes, my ingredients.

I go and open the door and give her the biggest attempt I've made at a smile for a long time now.
"Thank you very much." I beam as she hands me the flour and yeast and even eggs and milk too.
"Got little extra while I was out." She explained.
"You didn't need to." I say thankfully.
"It was the least I could do." She smiled.
Not really knowing what else to say to this person I hardly know I go to close the door with a quiet 'thank you' one last time.
"Peeta wait." She puts her hand on the door. "Why don't you come with me to see Katniss tomorrow? I think she'd like that." She suggested.
I'm caught short. I don't know what to say.
"Um.... I don't know." I say sheepishly.
"Please?" She begs.
Suddenly I feel a flush of anger.
"Did Haymitch put you up to this?" I snap tiredly.
"What? No!" She stutters. "I just think she needs an old friend."
"Oh." I sigh surprised. The urge is there again to see her. "I guess... I'll see."
"Great." She beams.
"You might want to check on her by the way." I state. "She wasn't very well just before.
She nods with a smirk. "Ok I will, I'll come by to collect you on my way there tomorrow." She states finally and pulls the door shut.

Shocked I stay standing facing the door for a few seconds. What am I doing? What am I thinking?! I guess I can't avoid her forever. And I've got to start somewhere again. This could be good. All it is is a little hello, nothing bad right. I mean, like Effie said I have to find the life I deserve now. This is my chance at that. I've got to take all the opportunities and make the best of this situation. Maybe I can beat this monster inside me.

This is the first time I've felt any hope since the end of the war.