Chanel No. 5 - NOT CANON


Note beforehand - this is not canon to the story :] It's still a dnf one-shot, but is in no way part of the merman's tear universe. I just didn't see the point of making an entire book for a one shot, so here we are. Hope you guys enjoy :]


An eerie chill settled in the darkness as Dream made his way down the street. He winced when he noticed the flickering of a broken street lamp, and clutched his hand tightly over the strap of his bag at the ominous feeling it evoked. His footsteps echoed down the empty street as they waded through water from the previous rainfall, the only noise in the night coming from him.

Unluckily for him, the one day his car was in for maintenance, and he had to walk home from work, it had rained. Poured with rain. Like horrendous, spitting, "I came straight from hell", rain. He sighed at the thought, and prayed to whatever above that it had calmed into a drizzle on the walk home. At least when it was a drizzle, he could mostly ignore it. Just focus on the foggy breath coming from his mouth, and the oncoming closeness of home, and then it would be like the rain wasn't even there.

Just 15 more minutes and then he could snuggle up in bed with a warm mug of hot chocolate and put his favourite movie on. He felt a warm feeling grow in his chest at the thought.

A voice cut through his thoughts from the shadows.

"Hello."

Because of the broken street lamps he was unable to figure out where the voice had come from in the darkness. Dream paused, whipping around to locate the source of the voice. He had a brief thought about how dangerous it was to talk to a stranger that late at night (because who knows what creepy sort would be out at that time) but then he realised he was out at that time of night, and decided to give the stranger the benefit of the doubt.

So, he did exactly what every adult as a teenager told him not to do. He responded.

"Uh," he paused, "hello?"

His eyes darted around to look for who was speaking to him, but all he could see was an empty street. "Hello," the voice replied, "um, again."

Despite the circumstance, Dream let out an airy chuckle.

"Yes. Hi," he said, and then winced at himself. There was an awkward pause, before the voice started talking again.

"My name's George," the man, George, said, and Dream raised an eyebrow, but nodded his head.

"Okay. I'm Dream."

"Charmed."

Dream furrowed his brow at the odd choice of response, but did not comment on it. He and the mysterious George, who he had yet to see, stood silently in the dark, unsure of how to proceed. Conveniently, because apparently the lamp gods wanted them to meet, the street lamp above him flickered to life.

Dream's gaze snapped straight away to it, and then to the man standing right next to it. He was shorter than Dream, but not by much. He had dark hair that touched the tips of his ears. Many features that Dream would have liked to study. 

However, Dream's attention quickly switched from swooning over the handsome stranger's hair to his two pointed fangs. His two pointed vampire fangs. At that moment, Dream did what any sane man would do. He squeaked in fright, turned, and bolted down the street.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately, whoever's side you're looking at), George caught up to Dream in a matter of seconds. Both because of inhuman vampire speed, and also because Dream had skipped leg day.

Two steady hands grabbed the back of his shoulders and spun him around, before he stepped back a couple paces and lifted his hands in a sign of peace. Dream did not dignify this peace sign with a response of his own, instead he stared at the dark haired man with impossibly wide eyes.

George smiled slightly at the fact that Dream was no longer running away. This was a bad idea, because it showed off his major canines, which made Dream squeak again. George quickly snapped his mouth shut, and awkwardly patted the sides of his legs with his hands.

There was silence for a few moments, and then George started to speak.

"So, I wanted to ask you-" but before he could finish his sentence, Dream cut in and took a couple of steps back. "No!" he growled, causing George to raise an eyebrow in surprise. "You," Dream gestured wildly to the vampire's general body and direction, George looked down at himself, then snapped his eyes back to Dream, "you are NOT drinking my blood tonight." George's head tilted, his face painted with confusion. This made Dream's anger falter for a second, bringing a smirk to George's chiseled features.

"Ohh, I get it. Vampire, fangs- midnight in the rain. I get it." he assured Dream, who raised an eyebrow, "I'm not gonna drink your blood, dude. Chill." Dream narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but relaxed a bit, not as hunched over anymore.

"So you're," Dream started, "you're not going to kill me?" George scrunched his face in disgust.

"No. Ew." George stated, "sorry blondie, but I don't drink blood anymore."

For a second, Dream considered he may be lying, but he didn't want to risk his life. He shifted on his feet for a second, before sighing.

"Okay, so, what do you survive from then?" he questioned, and George looked sheepish for a second before he replied.

"Uh, perfume."

"Sorry?"

"Perfume."

"I must have heard you wrong-"

"-no it's perfume."

They held eye contact for too long to not be awkward, and Dream swung his arms back and forth.

"Does it- does it taste good?"

George winced, and then shook his head.

"No, it's gross." he stated, before tilting his head, "well, actually, it's mainly gross, except for Chanel No. 5."

Dream's eyes widened for a second, flickering to the back of his hands where he'd spritzed some of it on before leaving work.

"I see."

"So, um, since I need it to survive, and I smelled it on you, I was wondering if I could have it." George asked.

"Have it?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Mm no."

"No?"

George looked offended.

"I literally just told you I need it to survive, and you're not gonna give it to me? Seriously dude what the hell."

"I..." Dream hesitated, "...do not have any." That was a blatant lie. It was sitting in the bottom of his laptop bag. The laptop bag he was holding.

George blinked stupidly for a second, before his eyes narrowed.

"You don't have any?"

"...Correct."

George's laugh was hollow.

"That's funny, because I smell it on you." he insisted, looking at Dream suspiciously.

"I work at the cosmetics section at the mall. I probably smell like it because of some random person I interacted with today." Dream replied, hoping it was a good lie.

George continued to stare at him suspiciously, but then obviously he gave up, because he sighed in defeat.

Dream almost felt bad for lying to him. Almost.

"If you're a vampire, who survives off of perfume," Dream began hesitantly, "why do you not have a stock of it anyway?"

"Covid - global supply chain crisis." George huffed.

"Oh. Right."

There was an awkward silence.

"This is so weird." Dream broke the silence.

"Weird?"

"Yes. Weird. You're a vampire who doesn't drink blood, that's weird."

"What, you're fine with blood but you draw the line at perfume?" "I don't-" Dream tried to interject, but George  held out a hand to get him to stop.

"No, and you know what? I'm not the weird one, you are, because guess what, Dream, your name is dumb. Have fun with that information." Dream laughed in agitation, "Seriously? My name is cool, your name is basic as shit. George? Who's even named George anymore." "That's rude." "You're rude." 

Dream shook his head in disbelief, "You're impossible." he said, causing George's eyebrows to shoot up.

"I am not impossible." "You are. And you're irritating." "You're the irritating one here!"

"Okay, and yet you're the one who's hassling a stranger for perfume to drink!" Dream spat out, and George dropped his arms to his side in annoyance.

There was a pregnant pause after their heated argument. George sighed heavily, before leaning back on the heels of his shoes.

"You know what. This was a waste of my time. Thank you for nothing, you useless human." Dream didn't even get a chance to respond to George before he'd disappeared into the darkness, leaving Dream alone in the night. He stood there for a few seconds, heart beating heavily, wondering if he'd come back, but when he didn't, continued to walk home.

When he got inside, and had cautiously locked the door, he opened his laptop bag. With careful hands, he grabbed his Chanel No. 5 perfume and sprayed it gently. He sighed happily at the beautiful aroma, and then hid it in his cupboard. He had to be careful with the expensive perfume, after all, there was a global supply chain crisis. Onto his next task, Dream grabbed a piece of paper, flicked the cap off his marker, and started to write. When he was done, he got some blue-tac and stuck it up on his front door window, then went to bed.

From across the street, hidden in the darkness, George read the note. 'I lied.' it said, 'come back tomorrow, same time. knock, and actually be polite.'

George narrowed his eyes, and huffed out a both amused and annoyed laugh. From inside the locked house, Dream laughed, as if sensing George. Both of them, with the other on their mind, slipped into the night. Dream, into his sleep, and George, into the shadows, both anticipating.

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Hello friends!! So glad I got people saying they'd want to see this :D Like I said above, this is not canon to the story, it's just a little indulgence on some other fantasy dnf ideas. I'm kind of in a writing funk, so I decided to try and write outside of the merman's tear universe. I also had a prompt provided to me, which was a vampire that survives off something other than blood. And I thought it would be funny. Anyways,,,,

Sorry it's been so long :(( I've been painfully busy D: I started at a new school, and some of my days start at 9 and end at 5:30 and I have an hour and a half commute so I don't have much time to myself :( 

Fun fact I wrote this in advanced english class. sorry to my teacher. 

Anyways, even though this isn't in the merman's tear universe, I hope you all still liked it :) It was fun to write :D

I know this isn't my usual writing style but it was fun to do :P

In the future I might make an unconnected dnf one-shot book, and add this to it, if I have the time :) so that may be something that happens soon. 

Also thank you so much for 1k followers! I love all your support, and it helps in so many ways :)

Also bit late but happy new years! Haha. Hope the new year was nice for everyone, and that you're all safe <3

As always, I hope you enjoyed, and happy reading!!

-Milo/Bella

(28/2/22)


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