☆WRITTEN MARCH, 2018☆

{*** indicates a time skip.}

"Then I sees me sheep, fucked within an inch of his life, and guess what I did?"

You started to lean over, slurping your drink, before replying, but another man beat you to it. He knocked back the rest of his. "You hit him with yer shovel?"

"Yer damn right I him with me shovel." The bartender rolled his eyes as the men kept conversing. You raised your head, your cloak obstructing your face and most of what'd make you stick out in that tavern, and peered disappointedly down into your cup. You swallowed the rest of the amber lager and hit the surface of the bar with the underside of the wooden mug.

"Hey...heyyyyyyyyy, barkeep." The grimy owner of the fine establishment briefly stopped scrubbing his hopeless counters to take your order. "Give me some more of this piss you call ale." Your voice came out a little too high, and while the men around you noticed, they had already turned their attention elsewhere when another man stood up. You didn't see him as you grinned, raising the bubbling drink eagerly to your lips. If those horrifying creatures were coming, you were going to get fuckin' obliterated before they could make their way to over here to kill you. Plastered. Wasted. You wouldn't even notice them, let alone how afraid you were. You were getting there.

You swallowed almost half of your next round of beer before you turned to see the same man stalking moodily away. Wow. Someone's cranky. Must be a harrowing hangover. You blinked in stupor, one eye at a time, and though your vision was clouded, you knew why they were fighting. They'd called him by his surname. Belmont. You knew it, who his family had been. If you weren't so close to being totally drunk, and the alcohol hadn't made literally everything more appealing, you'd have noticed that he was definitely more attractive than the other Belmonts you'd encountered. He was, even objectively, pretty goddamn handsome.

He did look unkempt, though. The other patrons around you were angry with him, and they had drawn the bartender into their assault, and as men did, they went straight for below the belt tactics. This was a bar-fight. No class needed. It was unfair, however. You wanted to get involved but opted to stay out of it, lest they discover you weren't like them at all. You were glad you weren't. It looked like it hurt. The prettier man winced, falling to his knees and you almost fell off your chair.

"Would you please leave my testicles alone?" He grunted. This time you did fall. The men heard you.

"Oi! You there- why don't you come help us? You can't care 'bout him can ya? He's a Belmont! Come on, boy, join us!"

You'd landed upside down but got to your feet as deftly as an inebriated young woman could. You gulped, trying to lower your voice. "Uh...I don't really want to. It's not my place. I just wanted-"

"Hey wait a minute..." the fatter man interrupted you. "What's yer name?"

You pulled down your hood, using the first name you could think of. "Trevor." The man they'd ganged up on looked at you, like you'd called him instead.

"Oh yeah? You sure?" They started to leave him, to walk towards you now, allowing the other man to get back to his feet. "I don't think you are a boy, are ya?"

"I'm a boy!" You cleared your throat. "A- a man! I have uh, testicles too, and I love beer and uh, hunting stags and uh, uhhhhhhh uhh uh boobs? Yeah! Boobs. Breasts. Cant get enough of those. And I hate taking showers and I love eating meat and smoking and drinking and uhhhh" they cut you off again.

"Yer obviously not a man, but yer right about us liking breasts. Take off the cloak."

"Hey, Trevor." The man from before came to your rescue, and before anyone could do much else you were outside the building as your assailants were knocked out on the floor.

Bewildered, you placed a hand to your head and slumped against him, muttering... "I am...a man...my name is..." your hood fell backward, and your hair tumbled down. If you had your wits about you you'd have gleefully noticed your hero's reaction. He clearly thought you were appealing, and he was far more sober.

"That's my name, actually." He helped you back up. "Trevor. Trevor Belmont." He anticipated hostility but was met with none. He liked that. Most people didn't like him so much. "Don't hate me."

"Why would I hate you? I...liked your family...they...good...people...those men...did they hurt you?...I heard you say they hurt your..." you reached out a hand.

"What are you doing?" You squirmed in his grip as he held you back.

"I'm tryna see if they broke."

"If what broke?" You touched him, and he actually picked you up and held you away from him. "Oh. Oh! Oh." He realised what you meant. "You're drunk. Come with me." He scoffed. "I can't leave you out here alone. Let's go find a tree or something for you to sleep under." He muttered to himself the whole way as you slowly began to drift off, luckily in the stead of a trustworthy person in the extreme sense.

***

You covered your eyes as sunlight wrenched you from your slumber, and you doubled back after realising what (or who it was) you'd been resting on. He was still pleasantly unconscious himself, though. You reached a hand out, and prodded the same spot as before. He instantly opened his eyes.

"Stop doing that!" You took your hand away.

"Sorry. I wanted to be sure."

"I'm fine. They're fine." You pursed your lips.

"Are you sure?" He smirked, and it was strange to see him smile. You took it for granted he didn't do that frequently. He stood up, and offered you his hand.

"You wouldn't happen to be a doctor, would you? If I ever do need help, which I probably won't, you might actually come in handy."

You took him up on his offer and he helped you to your feet. "No. I'm...well I was going to...I wanted to study medicine once...but then the church scared me away from it. I don't want to be branded a witch."

"The church, eh?" He rubbed the back of his head with his hand once he let go of yours. "That's not surprising."

"So, you're a Belmont?"

"Yep. Trevor, like I said. Strange you'd think to use that name out of all the ones you could've come up with."

"I like it." You shrugged. "It's sexy."

He raised an eyebrow. "Trevor. You think Trevor is a sexy name?"

"Yeah." You responded questioningly. "Why? Is there something wrong with that?" You glanced over him, cocking your hip to the side. "It fits. You're sexy." His face went red. You couldn't tell yours had, too. Neither of you said anything for several moments before you chose to break the silence. "So, where are you heading?"

"To get breakfast." Your eyes lit up.

"Ooooh I want breakfast, too! Can I come with you?" He smiled again, softly, and it made you happy.

"Sure. But you've got to control yourself around me." He whipped his weird coat around him. "If I'm so arousing."

"Yeah? If?"

"I meant it rhetorically. That was it."

"Oh. You phrased it wrong, is all." He let out an irritated breath.

"I don't care. Are you coming?" He started to walk away, and you trekked along behind him.

"So, you're a Belmont, then, Trevor?"

"Yep. Already said that."

"You fight monsters? Vampires?"

"Yep."

"Why are you all by yourself? There's a shit-ton of those beasts all over the place. Why go to Gresit alone?"

"Will you stop asking me so many questions?"

"No."

"What's your name, then?"

"{Y/N}." He laughed.

"That's definitely less sexy than Trevor. No wonder you liked me."

"I don't like you."

He stopped walking. "You tried to stick your hand down my pants- more than once." He pointed at you.

"I was drunk."

"So what?"

"It makes you do that sort of thing."

"Not me." You groaned.

"It makes one do that sort of thing."

"So, just you, then?"

"To be fair," you continued, not wanting to debate and/or defend the universally unbridling effects of alcohol. "I'd do it again. Sober." He continued onward.

"I thought you said you didn't like me."

"I don't." You hardly knew him. Sure he was hot, but that didn't man you liked him. It was merely an observation. Even so, you walked beside him, as close as you could get.

"You've got to leave me alone, okay? Don't touch me unless I tell you you can, got it?" He picked up his pace and you had to trot to keep up with him. You groaned.

"Ughhh. Fine."

***

That was a while ago. You'd followed him around for days, finding enemies readily available. Still, each time you needed to rest, when you were defenceless, the stoic nature of Trevor Belmont faded away. One night, to your embarrassment, when you woke up, you both were caught off guard, talking in your sleep.

Don't touch me. I'm Trevor Belmont. I'm too good for everyone else. Look at how swiftly I decimated those fools. I'm the greatest! You were mocking him, completely subconsciously, but alarmingly catty - if not accurately- nonetheless. How dare you touch me, vile woman, unworthy girl, who I totally like. Would you please leave my- you remembered waking up exactly at that moment. It'd been countless times that you'd tried to get to him; After every fight you tried to play Doctor, but it never worked. He just told you to lay off. Still, he was tired underneath it all, and you'd both passed out cold against each other.

He muttered. "Jesus of Nazareth. That's who I am. Don't insult me. I'm-" you were both dreaming of that fight on the night you met. You were more lucid than he was but it was you who said his name, and it woke him up. "{Y/N}! What are you doing?" He shouted and you doubled back. Your face was not in a holy area for someone who was sleeping right under the watchful eye of God and His big ass church. No wonder you'd felt something oddly uncomfortable. You stammered.

"I-I-I-I-I-I was sleeping. I'm sorry." He moved his leg up, and you saw that same bloody color return to his cheeks. "Wait, why are you sitting like that?" He avoided meeting your eyes.

"Doesn't matter. Just...go over there for a minute." He nodded towards an adjacent, low-standing wall.

"No." You didn't move a muscle. "There's only one way to get rid of that, and it should take more than a minute, at least let's hope so." You crawled forward. "Come oooooon, the worlds gonna end. We're all gonna die. Just..."

"Fine. But after this, this ONE time, promise me you'll just stop trying to do it."

"Do what?" You mocked that bovine shepard  from before, sticking your stomach out as far as you could and lowering your chin, trying to make you look even heftier. It worked relatively well, despite the clear counter-productivity considering your endgame. "Fuck ye within an inch of yer life?" You were shocked as he actually used that seemingly impractical whip he carried around to pull you closer.

"More or less."

***

After what happened you felt even more sorry for the poor animal you'd made fun of before. You'd need some time to recover. You turned over, to see this man you'd honestly only recently met, out cold, snoring and clearly satiated. You laid your head on his chest, and he wrapped his hand around your shoulder, speaking plainly and clearly. So. It appears he wasn't sleeping.

"Leave them alone this time, would you?" He sighed. "At least for a while." You understood it wasn't going to be this ONE time after all.

You moved closer to him, and you couldn't tell if he more so groaned or moaned when you replied, but you didn't care. You were too tired to do anything about it then but you would soon enough. You wouldn't let up.

"Never!"

You both fell asleep again.

***

[A/N: okay so I think it's pretty obvious that the title of this shit-show is an actual line from the anime, but I'll specify just to be sure. I know I've commandeered the arc and shoved the reader into a part she wouldn't have been in, but eh, again, who cares? Trevor seems to not give a fuck approximately 99.9999% of the time, or at least, that's what he says.

Seriously. The dude says "I don't care" like 28227273 times in all whopping 4 episodes of the show.

Season two is scheduled to have double the screen-time. Ooooooh baby that's the good stuff- oh man. HOW will we ever find the time to power trough 8 MORE? How, I ask you. How?

Weak.

Alright then, I hope this was fun enough.
_:('ཀ'」 ∠): <<< (kinda looks like a nasty ass vampire, doesn't it? Eh. Kinda.)
Anyway, 💙 ya!
~ Britt]