Miranda did something that night after talking with her father that she hadn't done in a long time. She prayed. And not just a quick cry for help so that she would make the right decision. For hours Miranda stayed in her room, resolved that she would not leave it until she had heard an answer.

She knew there was a possibility that it would all be meaningless in the end. For she wasn't entirely certain that Alex would offer for her. He still hadn't shared his secret of being illiterate, and Miranda had a feeling that it was one reason why he never wanted to marry in the first place.

And so with all of these thoughts tumbling around in her head, Miranda paced her room, back and forth. Sometimes talking aloud to God, other times just talking to herself, trying to put some semblance of reasoning to the paths that laid before her. And even each of those paths had forks in them.

If Alex did decide to call and consequently propose, Miranda would still need to decide whether or not to accept. A part of her thought it was absolutely preposterous to refuse an Earl. She was still shocked that her father would even suggest it. Marrying Alex would solve all of their problems. Her reputation would be restored, and her parents saved from financial ruin.

Miranda would make up her mind that it was the obvious course to take, and yet something would hold her back. And so the wrestling would continue.

Alex did not call that day which shot a pang of doubt into Miranda's heart. As she laid in bed that night, her dinner tray untouched, tears spilled down her cheeks and onto her pillow. The thought of Alex not proposing and thus leaving her family to utter ruin, left Miranda in a state of complete dread. It was then she realized she was not strong enough to refuse Alex. She could not do what her father asked of her.

After a fitful sleep, Miranda woke the next day feeling exhausted. Although she had made her decision, she did not find peace in it. How could she live through the rest of her life watching her parents fighting to survive? And all because of her.

As she dressed for the day, Miranda tried to ignore the bags that hung below her eyes. She was hardly the darling debutante waiting for the attentions of her suitor. At this point, both her and Alex knew that a marriage between them was purely by obligation. How Miranda wished she could have known if Alex would have proposed under different circumstances. One where her reputation wasn't hanging by a single thread.

Pulled from her reverie by Bridget bringing in her breakfast tray, Miranda tried to muster a smile for the devoted servant, but feared it came across as more of a grimace.

Bridget "tsked" as she cleared away the untouched dinner tray but surprisingly didn't comment further. Miranda wouldn't be surprised if all the servants already knew what had transpired. They were probably all wondering if they would still have jobs by the end of next week.

"Bridget," Miranda said, "The Earl of Carlisle may come calling this morning, would you help me do something with my hair?"

Bridget stopped bustling around the room and came to stand behind her. As she started placing various pins into her hair, Bridget made eye contact with Miranda in the mirror. "Are you going to be acceptin' him then?"

Miranda looked away. "Yes," she replied. "It was like you said Bridget, love can only get you so far."

Bridget did not respond right away as she did the finishing touches to the coiffure. When she was finished, Bridget placed both hands on Miranda's shoulders. "I know what I said. But seein' you so miserable I realize now it's not about makin' ends meet. I know I could make a lot more servin' in another household, but do you know why I stay?"

Miranda shook her head as she didn't trust her voice to speak.

"Cause you and Mr. and Mrs. Edwards treat me as one of your own. Even if you didn't marry the Earl, I would follow you to the ends of the Earth."

Unable to hold them back any longer, tears ran down Miranda's face. Just as Bridget's own eyes began to get misty, she quickly grabbed the dinner tray and left the room.

Quickly grabbing her handkerchief, Miranda dabbed at her eyes. She didn't need to add red and puffy to her already dismal appearance.

Knowing she couldn't put it off any longer, Miranda got up to head for the drawing room. There was nothing left to do but wait to see if Alex would come. As she descended the stairs, Bridget's words echoed in her mind. Feeling more lost than ever, Miranda sent up one last prayer. Lord, please give me wisdom and peace in what I am about to do. It may not have been her most eloquent prayer, but it was the most sincere.

Miranda walked in to find her parents sitting quietly together. Her father was reading a book, while her mother knitted a scarf. Both greeted her warmly as if nothing was amiss. Following their example Miranda tried to sit down to some embroidery but kept pricking her finger as she couldn't stop looking out the front window for Alex's carriage.

Giving up entirely, Miranda decided she might as well just sit and wait. She wondered at how her parents kept so calm when so much hung in the balance. She realized however, that as she watched them her father never turned a page in his book, and her mother's scarf was not getting any longer. It made Miranda smile to herself that her parents were just as nervous as she was, but she appreciated their effort to appear unaffected for her sake.

What felt like hours, but was more likely only minutes, Miranda heard the tell tale sign of horse's hooves coming to a stop on the street. Her heart racing, Miranda couldn't bring herself to see if it was indeed Alex. The room came to a pause, as her parents also seemed to go suddenly still as they all listened to the sounds of the front door being opened while the footman greeted the caller.

Even though she was expecting it, Miranda jumped when the footman lightly knocked to announce their guest.

"The Earl of Carlisle," he said with a bow.

As the footman moved aside, Miranda gave a quick intake of air at seeing Alex again. He looked immaculate in a crisp clean coat of blue. It matched perfectly with his tan breeches and black hessian boots. It made her want to sigh in pleasure at how handsome he looked. He didn't appear at all as if he had been traveling all morning in a carriage, making Miranda surmise that he must have arrived yesterday as it was still early in the day. She felt a twinge of disappointment that he hadn't rushed to her side right after her ejection from the Benson house, but she could hardly blame him for wanting to refresh himself at home first.

Her father walked forward first, his hand extended. "Lord Carlisle, thank you for stopping by. As you can imagine, we have been expecting your visit."

Alex was momentarily stunned at the forward greeting but was able to return the handshake with equanimity. "I hope I haven't kept you waiting long."

"Not at all," her father said with a smile. "I'm sure you and Miranda have a lot of things to discuss. Mrs. Edwards and I will take our leave to give you some privacy." Turning back to his wife, Miranda watched in awe as her parents exited the room arm in arm. As the door softly clicked close, a deafening silence descended on the room.

For a moment neither of them spoke, only stared waiting for the other to speak first.

"Sorry for the abruptness of my father," Miranda began. "I wasn't expecting him to be so forthright."

Alex let out a chuckle, dispelling some of the tension. "I'll admit it caught me a little off guard, but I appreciated his candor." Then his face grew serious. "I was sorry to hear how you were treated at the Bensons. It was unforgivable."

Miranda studied the embroidery in her lap, unable to meet his eyes. "What's done is done. If I had the choice to go back and do it all over I would."

Alex did not immediately respond and instead came over to join her on the settee. Resting his arm on the backrest behind her, he reached out to gently tilt her chin up till she was looking into his clear blue eyes. "This world does not deserve you Miranda. And I take full responsibility for the predicament you now find yourself in. If I had not suggested such an abhorrent scheme, just so I could avoid a few of society's ladies, you could have been saved from all this trouble."

Picking up one her hands, Alex rubbed his thumb over her fingers sending tingling sensations all the way up her arm. "But I hope to remedy that. I will make right all the wrongs I had imposed on you. Miranda, will you marry me?"

It was the exact moment Miranda had been hoping for. Ever since their ride together, she had wanted to marry Alex. But as she stared at her hand in his, she did not feel the joyous response one would expect from a proposal. Alex made no declarations of his feelings towards her. He was simply atoning for the sins he felt that he had committed against her. But only God could forgive sins.

Miranda knew that she could not marry Alex. Not like this anyway. It was like her father's advice and Bridget's words all suddenly became clear. Marrying Alex would only satisfy her material needs, it would not satisfy her heart.

Tugging her hand free from his, Alex's face was so crestfallen and confused that it almost made her change her mind. "I'm sorry Alex," she said barely above a whisper. "But I'm afraid I cannot marry you."

+++

Alex couldn't believe what he was hearing. She had said it so softly that he was sure he must have misheard her. But her body language said it all. Getting up from his seat he stormed to the other side of the room, dragging his fingers through his hair, trying to make sense of what just happened. He spun back around. "Why?" was all he could manage to say.

Unshed tears began to form in her eyes as she stared back at him. "Do you love me?" she asked.

Alex blinked. Was that what this was all about? That he hadn't come in professing his undying love for her? "That's not the issue right now. The issue is that unless you marry me, your family is going to be kicked out of society. Is that what you want?"

"Of course it's not what I want," Miranda said standing up. "But I will not let society dictate my actions. You may be able to provide for me, but a marriage based solely on obligation would not be a real marriage at all."

Alex threw his hands in the air in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. That I'm actually being chastised for wanting to do the right thing." He shook his head in bewilderment. "I may have unknowingly put you in a bad situation, but I did not compromise your innocence. I am not obliged to marry you on that score."

Miranda's eyes flashed in anger. "I'm sorry that you took the trouble at all then. You could have saved me having to refuse a man who is incapable of loving someone or letting people in."

"And I suppose you would know what love is. Especially after waiting on a proposal for three years."

After the words had left his mouth, Alex knew he had gone too far. Tears began falling down Miranda's face and he instantly regretted speaking out of anger.

Miranda walked up to him till she was almost toe to toe with him. "I do know what love is," she said fiercely. "Because I love you, Alexander Archer. And it's because I love you that I cannot marry you."

Alex stood stunned. He had guessed that Miranda harbored some feelings towards him. Their ride through the forest had shown that. But to love him? It left him so completely speechless that he didn't know how to respond. Maybe he was incapable of love.

"You came and did your duty," Miranda said. "You can leave now knowing that your responsibility to me has been fulfilled."

Alex's jaw tightened in consternation as Miranda threw his own words back at him. She was right however in that he had fulfilled what he had set out to do. It was obvious she was not going to change her mind.

Spinning on his heel, Alex strode out of the room and without a backward glance, slammed the door behind him.

As he stood seething in the foyer, Alex noticed his hat and gloves on the center table and hastily began to put them back on. The sound of a door opening brought his attention to Miranda's father exiting what he assumed was his study.

"I take it that it didn't go as planned," Mr. Edwards said with sympathy.

Alex snorted. "Your daughter is an incredible woman Mr. Edwards, but excuse my saying so, she is right now the most foolish woman in all of London." Alex knew he was treading in dangerous waters, insulting the man's daughter, but he needed to know the mistake Miranda was making. "Maybe you can talk some sense into her, she definitely won't listen to me."

Mr. Edwards stood with his hands clasped behind his back, and a slight grin on his face. Alex didn't know what he found so humorous, especially with his family's well being on the brink of disaster.

"I completely stand by Miranda's decision," Mr. Edwards said. "In fact, I applaud her for it, as it would have taken a great deal of courage to say no to you."

Alex gawked at him. Has the entire family gone daft? "But your family," Alex stammered. "I can give Miranda a comfortable life. You are willing to throw everything away, and for what?"

"You are focusing on the wrong things, Lord Carlisle. The way I see it, you are throwing everything away to appease a culture that has no eternal value. For without God, then we have nothing."

Alex let out a harsh bark of laughter. "You are saying that God wants you to live in desolation while being spurned from society?"

"But we would be content and satisfied because God fulfills our needs," Mr. Edwards calmly replied. "Can you say the same Lord Carisle? Are you content and satisfied while having everything you could possibly want?"

The question made Alex give pause. In truth he was not satisfied. For one, he did not have everything. He did not have the ability to read. And that was one point that Mr. Edwards would never be able to understand.

Alex had talked enough. It was all moot anyway as the Edwards seemed to have accepted their fate. There was nothing more he could do. "Thank you for your time Mr. Edwards," Alex said stiffly. "I sincerely wish the best for the welfare of your family."

Mr. Edwards responded in a slight bow. "Of that Lord Carlisle, you can have no doubt."