Plotline: At first, I was interested to take a look at your book since it's a Mystery-Romance similar to mine, and I can tell you take a lot of inspiration from k-dramas as well. Esp I feel like it has some similarities to 'The Memories of The Alhambra' and has some of the k-drama tropes like rich boy CEO and I think you weren't able to make that aspect stand out very much. I think the plot is still very good, it's definitely unique from the usual western-themed and high-school stories that are swimming in Wattpad.

However, I feel as though the mystery element isn't highlighted well enough and feels more of a Romance book, the mystery simply coming as a sub-genre. It was quite a slow burn as well, the action only arising in the 6th chapter with that cliffhanger. I'd expected a bit more bits and pieces of mystery surrounding the murder and the early chapters but it felt rather lazy and bland when we only learn more information from the tv in a bar or restaurant. The murder happened close to Sam's home so I don't really understand why she isn't talking more about it with other people or why she's just brushing it off as if it were a normal occurrence.

Though I thought the part where he called her pretty was a cute moment. I think you'll have to improve more on the mystery element of the book and honestly also on the romance element but I'll get to that when I talk about the characters.

Character development: Firstly, I thought it was strange that you had to give so much heavy emphasis on the racial background of our MCs, it was a little uncomfortable because it felt like a blurred line between diversity and romanticizing one's racial background. You could be a little more subtle, I recommend you check out 'Highway of Lights' because the author did a good job of depicting the MC as an Asian-American without it being too in your face. Also, your character aesthetics need work. I didn't like that I was able to know so much about the characters before the first chapter such as Sam's aspirations and hard-working nature or Charles' reason for going to Quebec and his passion for Architecture.

"Show, don't tell" Don't tell the readers this and that about Sam and Charles' personality, it's better to show the readers their traits and how they interact, it takes away from the interest of reading when we already know a lot about them before even getting to the first chapter. Also, Brianna feels like a typical mean girl who hates the main character for no reason, and so I kinda wish you could've played more with her character and made her more dynamic instead of making her seem so antagonistic. Another thing between Sam and Charles, I don't really feel a good chemistry between them.

They seem awkward and their conversations are sometimes bland and boring at times. Also, this is just a personal opinion but Sam narrating the history of the landmarks to the tourists is not necessary and kinda bore me, they don't do anything to advance the plot and you could've just made that part vague. But when she was talking about the history of a landmark with Charles, that was acceptable since it turned into a joke.

Another thing, I get that you're trying to squeeze in a way for Sam and Charles to bond more and the tour with double payment was a good idea. I don't particularly like though how Sam complained about taking Charles to his hotel and makes it a big deal and calls him a jerk. Didn't she say so herself that the hotel is just a walking distance away? I get that she could lose clients so she could've politely said no so why is she blaming Charles? Another big no, was when Sam assumed that Charles was from Korea as she is Korean herself. That's subtle racism if I'm being honest, and I don't think I should have to elaborate further on that.

Grammar and punctuation: You have a lot of errors littered on your book and it took away from the overall reading experience. You definitely need to proofread your chapters or perhaps get an editor. I'll go through the errors one by one. So first off, in the first sentences alone you are already inconsistent with tensing.

The night-light was nestling the sky. It is raining hard.

is should be changed to was if you're using the past tense, or was should be changed to is if you're using the present tense.

You need to stick with one tense, either present or past. This is evident throughout all the chapters and the spontaneous switches in tensing really bugged me.

You also have a slight problem with the subject-verb agreement. Make sure to use the correct linking verb and action verbs that correspond to whether your subject is plural or singular.

And another thing is that you have a problem with Action tags and Dialogue tags. You need to research more on the proper use of those for neat and uniform writing.

"Hello, Sam," A voice of a girl... ✗
"Hello, Sam." A voice of a girl.. ✓

They replied. "It was fine." ✗
They replied, "It was fine."  ✓

"Bonjour Sam." He said cheerfully. ✗
"Bonjour Sam," he said cheerfully. ✓

Another thing, you have some spelling errors. You need to fix those so your chapters don't look sloppy.

So many of your dialogues lack ending quotation marks, also need to be fixed so your chapters look clean.

And lastly, it was annoying for the structure of Sam's inner thoughts to be accompanied by 'She thought' 'She said to herself' and so on so forth. Concise is the key, just remove it altogether, it's already clear that it's her thoughts since it's in italics and that is already the proper standard when writing inner-monologues in 3rd person pov.

Writing style: There were times where your description was great and times where your description was awkward and choppy, didn't flow well. You tend to use uncommon words that don't flow well or read well in your sentences and over-complicate things unecessary. I get that you want your description to look more professional but some of the synonyms used are quite awkward and don't read very well.

The sentence structures are poor as well, a lot of things you write aren't concise and can be shortened to something simpler and crisper. You tend to over-describe a person's clothing and it takes up a whole paragraph which can ultimately be shortened down as well.

This can be shortened to:  He wore a grey shirt and black jeans that was almost completely drenched by the harsh rain despite him carrying an umbrella. A black bag was slung over his shoulder, the little keychain haning from the zipper dangling with every step he took.

See what I did there? I cut it in half and kept it concise with just two sentences.

The pacing of the story is kind of slow and fast at the same time. You lack description in some areas and over-describe unnecessary things as well. Talk more about their feelings, write more about the places they visit, and give more in-depth about the overall-experience. The romance aspect felt a little brisk and that is why the chemistry between Sam and Charles feels lacking.

And even in the mystery, such as the murder in the last part of chapter 6, felt just lightly brushed over. I get that Sam is drunk but you have the advantage of writing in 3rd person pov, meaning you can give more in-depth into how the murderer killed the victim.

Bonus: Lovely book cover, I know Sereneur and he makes amazing covers, nothing less of the best. And you have cute aesthetics and chapter banners but a pretty book means nothing if it lacks in substance and content. It shouldn't overshadow the writing. The writing needs immense improvement and you should focus on that.

Rating: 5/10

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_ann_therese_