Part 2

—Todd heads out to Maui with Uncle Bob to repair two of Bob's rental properties, which apparently is how the man got so rich. Christy whines because she's stuck in boring Escondido with her boring family.

—We get this ridiculous segment in which Christy receives her first, keyword FIRST, driving lesson from her dad. He takes her to a parking lot, where she drives seven miles an hour, struggling to get used to the controls. Her dad disapproves of her cautious speed and insists she drives like she would on a normal road, so she kicks it into gear and promptly smashes into a concrete pole.

What. Did. You. Expect.

—After the car drama, which Christy's father insists is not his fault, Christy, her mom, and poor abused David drive to LA to pick up Paula, Christy's best friend from Wisconsin. Paula is annoying, and Christy acts like a brat towards her. Then Aunt Marti surprises the two girls and David with the news that she is taking them all to Hawaii, which I saw coming a mile away because all the adults kept dropping hints that Christy never questioned.

—As they prepare for Hawaii, Christy's mother specifically forbids Paula from wearing her bikini. Um, excuse me, Christy's mother, but Paula isn't your child. I had friends who wore skimpy stuff to swim all the time and my mom never said a word. It would be rude.

—Most of the book is one long Hawaii segment, and I usually enjoy the travel portions, but this time I just couldn't. Paula was so annoying, and Christy was bratty and jealous. It was so bad I glazed over and started skim-reading. Then Todd and Christy have an emotional heart-to-heart, because yeah, real 18-year-old boys initiate that, and Todd says they need to pray for Paula because, "It's ultimately God's kindness that leads us to repentance, not his judgment."

I liked this quote so much I wrote it down. What is happening to me.

—They go to Hana which apparently is some town in Hawaii, and see horses grazing. The horses make Christy slightly homesick for Wisconsin for the first time in this entire series, but "horses back on the farm were merely black or brown, not silky ebony, amber, or caramel like these."

I'm sorry. First of all, ebony and black are the same thing.

Secondly:

#ALLHORSESAREBEAUTIFUL

—Anyway, in Hana, Todd decides he's gonna prove his manhood by jumping off a sixty foot bridge.

—At this point I wish I was making it up. But I'm not. He survives without a scratch. Unfortunately.

—Then, he is stung by a bee and almost dies. How anticlimactic can it get. Paula screams, cries, and is worthless. Christy, in another likable moment, keeps a level head and manages to administer the 1989 version of an EpiPen. Todd recovers amazingly quickly and he and Christy have a romantic chat in the Hana moonlight.

—Then they get home and Paula flies back to Wisconsin after a mushy goodbye. In conclusion, WHY DO THESE BOOKS ALWAYS TELL US TEARS ARE SALTY? WHY? The only instance I can think of where this description would be well-placed is if a character had reason to actually notice or feel the salt. Not every single time. I'm so sick of Christy's tiny, salty tears.

JUST. STOP.

Aaand scene. The end.