Roy had recently discovered that loneliness was incredibly dangerous.

He had become used to it.

It enveloped him.

He hated it at first.

But now...now...

It was nearly addicting.

He wasn't sure if he had simply become used to the loneliness or the loneliness had became used to him. But he loathed the thought of human interaction. Of leaving his safe space. Well, a safe space that was safe until MacKenzie had broken through the barriers. He was sick of the patronizing way people looked down and talked to him; it was nauseating. MacKenzie hadn't done that. She was the first person in the hospital to treat him as if he was a human being, and the only person to continue doing so since he was released onto the street.

Roy had continuously tried to distract himself from the fact that he was nearing age thirty and was still alone, that he had no one since Alice decided someone else was better, that she was suited for somebody else, that she had decided that Roy was nobody.

He turned to look at MacKenzie. Roy wanted himself to be the first thing she saw when she woke up. The light poured in on her delicate frame. She was still dead to the world, breathing heavily, slowly. It pained him to think that he was evidently the cause of her distress the day before. Even then she chose to sleep with him.

Roy couldn't figure out why. In retrospect, he couldn't tell if he truly  felt anything or not. If it was a psychic sort of intimacy, a ghost of pleasure, or if he had convinced himself of that electric current traveling throughout his body.

After all, having desires had always been one of Roy's downfalls.

Maybe it was coming back slowly. The feeling. Any sort of it. Roy remembered in the beginning when he could barely lean forward in his chair without fear of toppling over. He'd gradually learned to avoid it by steadying himself on nearby objects, but slowly realized he hadn't the recently the problem. But he still felt as if he was floating on air, and still his body betrayed him whenever he tried to stand.

Roy wanted MacKenzie to wake, but at the same time he cherished the moment of watching her at peace. He ran his fingers down her cheek just as MacKenzie had done the previous day. He felt silly. He wanted to cry at the thought of ever having a relationship with her. He didn't realize how beautiful she was. More than cute. It was a different kind of beauty. MacKenzie.

"I think I believe you..." Roy was taken back with surprise and confusion when he realized his right leg had jerked suddenly and kicked MacKenzie in the shin. "What the actual-"

Roy grasped his thigh, digging his fingers into the skin. Nothing.

MacKenzie's eyes opened. "Did you just...did you just kick me?"

"What? Um...Jesus, I uh..."

"Oh. You're spasming. Here." MacKenzie grasped Roy's knee as his leg twitched.

How and why, he wanted to ask himself. And he as somewhat embarrassed.

"Like, this is normal? Does sex cure paralysis or what?"

MacKenzie chuckled, like Roy's statement was ridiculous to her. "I'm surprised they didn't tell you. Or that this didn't happen sooner. Your legs are going to spasm. Things will trigger it. You know. Damaged nerves, inactive muscles."

"So sex doesn't cure paralysis."

"It's a hilarious paradox that your body won't move when you want it do but will when you don't, huh."

"Oh. You get it."

"You weren't my first patient."

"Okay."

Roy was silent as MacKenzie curled up next to him again.

"Why did we have sex." It wasn't a question.

"Huh?" MacKenzie cocked her head.

"You know what I just asked you," Roy said as MacKenzie groggily sat up.

"Okay," MacKenzie said.

Roy rubbed his eyes. "Are you feigning  indifference?"

"Only if you were feigning enjoyment."

"I don't think so."

"Yes, you know  so."

"I can't describe it."

"You're level of injury is rather low, Roy. The break doesn't matter at this point. Of course  you felt that."

"I still don't know."

"You know."

"But do you know why you chose to sleep with me?"

"Yes."

"Because our relationship started with you replacing my bed sheets and now you are in between them."

"It's rare, but it happens." She sat cross-legged, braiding a piece of her hair.

"You had me convinced on our unexpected date that we'd be job hunting and then you changed your mind and decided the time was right to jump in between said bed sheets that you formerly replaced."

"Roy, you said yourself that job hunting was heartless."

"Yes, for the jobs. Not for me." Roy sat up and faced MacKenzie, putting her hands in his. "I'm trying to convince myself that you do care for my company despite the fact you've seen me at my most vulnerable. And whatever I did to upset you, before we had sex, before you decided to have sex, I humbly apologize."

"You didn't upset me."

"I upset you. You were perfectly fine until I put my hand on yours. And then you got all, you know, teary-eyed."

MacKenzie's expression darkened. "No, I just drank too fast."

"I still don't believe you. It's because I called you Kenz, right?"

"That caught me off guard. Well, it wasn't you that upset me."

"I got you," Roy said squeezing her hand. "You admitted it."

"You got me," sighed MacKenzie. "It wasn't you."

"It obviously affected you greatly."

"It was a who."

"If it was a who then I'm obliged to know."

"Not really."

"Yes, really, because we were both completely naked in this bed."

"I saw someone I knew behind you and I didn't want to talk to them so I thought it best we leave. If we stayed I knew they would want to talk to me. Or you. Or dear god, both of us. That would be an awful mess, it would."

"Was this a lover?"

"If that's what you want to call it," she exclaimed.

"Am I your lover?" Roy asked.

"We made love," MacKenzie responded.

"Sex doesn't constitute love-making."

"Love-making doesn't constitute lovers. I know you still love her."

"Who?"

"Alice," MacKenzie said flatly.

"This has nothing to do with Alice."

"You should see your face when you say her name."

"Of course I don't, because I try not to say it."

"Likewise," MacKenzie commented, studying Roy.

"You have absolutely no reason to."

"Maybe you're right."

"You never answered my question."

"I think I answered enough,"

"No you didn't," Roy insisted.

"It's better if you don't know."

With a considerable amount of coincidence and great convenience, Roy hadn't noticed the sound of the doorknob turning as MacKenzie was defending herself. It was implied that MacKenzie had and at that point decided to continue speaking.

Roy didn't know who was standing there, and if he did, he probably wouldn't have cared.