Chapter Forty Nine- Please, Please, Please
Roy's mother spent time in the confessional for nearly a half an hour. The two men had lifted Roy in his wheelchair down the stairs again, his face more red than the blood of Christ.
The shorter man took off without saying anything and David stood next to Roy.
"The nights are getting colder," he said.
"Yeah," Roy replied.
"Do you need me to stay with you, boy?"
"Why would you say that."
"Don't know how long that mother of yours is gonna be."
"I'm fine."
"She's down here quite a bit. Spends quite a lot of time in confession when it's offered."
"Yeah?"
"I often wonder what she's repentin' for."
"I wonder."
Roy surprisingly slept soundly that night on his couch bed. He hadn't remembered his dreams, and woke that next morning just as the sun rose. Whit looked at him funny as he poured coffee, and grabbed his rifle and headed out the door. Roy could only wonder what he was doing with it.
He dressed quickly, shaved his face, and decided to go to Dahlia's before she could drive to his house.
Roy knocked on the door. Dahlia answered right away, still in her pajamas, with her hair messy.
"Oh," she said.
"May I come in?"
She opened the door wider and locked it behind him.
"I'm not going to work today," she said, curling up on the couch. "Neither are you. I called in for both of us."
"Why's that?"
"We gotta talk about stuff."
"I'm all ears."
"We shouldn't have slept together," Dahlia blurted out.
"Why do you think that?" Roy asked.
"Because now you're more distant."
"I'm sorry, Dahlia."
"Is this because of that MacKenzie girl?"
Roy sighed. "Yeah Dahlia it's because of that MacKenzie girl."
"What if I was really pregnant with your child?" She pulled her knees up close to her.
"You're not."
"What if I was?"
"Dahlia."
"I know you love her. You never said you loved me. Not once."
"I'm sorry."
"I always said it first and you never said it back. Not even two years ago."
"You know, Dahlia, you're in love with who I was."
"No, I'm in love with you."
"You're in love with who I was then and you're angry you never came with me. You regret it, Dahlia."
"Yes I do regret it now," she frowned.
"Because perhaps if you did come with me, maybe somehow you would've saved me maybe somehow things would've been different and I wouldn't be the way I am now."
"No, it's not that!" Dahlia insisted.
"I noticed the way you acted when we're in front of other people."
"What are you talking about?"
"When I first came back you couldn't even look at me and now you're telling my boss and your coworker that we slept together?
"Roy..." Dahlia whimpered.
"You couldn't love me in daylight at first and like, you just can't do that. You know how bad that makes us both sound? It's un-fucking-acceptable."
"How did you know-"
"And you're not brave for being with me. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. I don't know if it somehow makes you feel better that you fucked some crippled wannabe movie star who got on his knees for you years ago, but it's not some good deed. You don't get some gold star for wanting to have sex with me and going through with it."
"You stood for me."
"That's all that's ever gonna happen."
Warm tears fell down Dahlia's porcelain face. "Are we done?"
"What?"
"Are we done."
"We never were," Roy said.
"You saved my life, Roy. William was rich, he was goodlooking, but his temper could've killed me. You saved my life."
"I'm glad to hear that."
"I didn't realize how terrible he really treated me until I began spending so much time with you." Dahlia got to her knees and grasped Roy's hands. "I thought it was normal. It wasn't. You made me feel whole. You made me realize I deserved better."
"You deserve much better," Roy said quietly. "And you deserve better than me."
"No I don't."
"You do. There's no...there's no happy ending with me."
"You're lying," Dahlia cried.
"No I'm not."
"What would happen if I came to Los Angeles with you?"
"I don't know, Dahlia."
"Would you abandon me?"
"I don't know."
"Are you going back?"
Roy paused. "I think so."
Dahlia put her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god. It's really happening. You're leaving again."
"Dahlia please..."
"No," she shook her head, attempting to hold back sobs.
Dahlia pressed her lips to Roy's. Their tears mixed. She slowly pulled away and stood up.
"I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
"Okay."
She sniffed. "Stand for me one last time."
"If you insist," Roy said.
She put Roy's feet to the floor and grasped onto his hips.
For what seemed like hours, Roy looked down at Dahlia and they simply embraced in silence.
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