・・・ xli ・・・

Even though it was already light outside,
the inside of his apartment was dim.

From the entryway he could see why.

The curtains had not been drawn.

The same unbearable silence crept over the walls.

He walked in.

When he reached the living room,
he blinked once in surprise.

Sitting there on the couch alone with his back to him was someone he knew unmistakably.

"... Leo."

His childhood friend hadn't turned around to look at him when Ao called his name.

Ao hesitated.

Something... felt different with him.

He was unusually still and quiet,
as though he didn't know that Ao was there.

He tried once again, this time louder.

"Leo."

Leo flinched.

He finally turned around.

Ao froze.

His eyes widened.

His heart began to race.

A cold feeling began to eat at him.

No. No. No. No.

In his hand Leo was holding the book that he was always reading, its pages open.

He was certain that he had hidden it in his desk.

But that was not the problem.

There were tears falling down his face.

Leo was crying.

No. No. No. No.

Not again—

・・・ xlii ・・・

His hands were shaking.

His legs had lost their strength.

His head began to spin.

Breathe. Breathe.

Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock—

—No. No. No. No.

I need to get out of here.

"Run—"

"—... Ao."

Ao blinked.

He had lost himself for a few moments.

When he realized it, somehow,
Leo was suddenly standing in front of him.

He stepped back in surprise, staying away from him.

No. No. No. No—

Before he could turn away,
Leo reached out and grabbed his arm.

Ao shuddered.

"I'm sorry."

Leo whispered, looking at him with that torn expression.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

"I can't... I can't keep smiling anymore... I can't..."

He bowed his head, his shoulders heaving.

Transparent tears fell on the floor.

Drip. Drop.
Drip. Drop.
Drip. Drop—

"—It's all my fault you're like this," he said. "I shouldn't have— I— I—"

He gasped.

He breathed shallowly.

He looked at Ao with a broken, pleading expression.

"I... I don't know what to do anymore."

・・・ xliii ・・・

"What should I do, Ao?"

Leo's voice cracked and broke in the semidarkness.

The mask of happiness he had tried hard to keep had fallen away.

Tears were trailing down his cheeks.

Ao could not bear to see the look in his eyes.

What should I do?
What should I do?
What should I do?

"Please..." Leo begged, gripping his arm tightly. "Please. Please. Please. What should I do to earn your forgiveness?"

Ao was shaking.

Around him, the world was breaking apart.

I should be the one who you can't forgive.

It was all my fault.
It was all my fault.
It was all my fault.
It was all my fault—

"—It was all my fault that she died," Ao whispered.

Leo looked at him with a painful expression, his eyes blurred.

He opened his mouth.

The words he chose to speak next stabbed through him like a knife.

"—No, Ao.... It wasn't."

Lies.

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.

Don't touch me.
Don't look at me like that.
Don't say those awful words.

・・・ xliv ・・・

Leo's voice grew faint and hoarse as he spoke through his tears.

"She... She loved you," he said.

"All she wanted was your happiness.... She... we only wanted you to be happy."

Silence passed.

Leo tried to speak more, but no words were able to leave his mouth.

Instead, he looked at Ao with a painful face.

Leo's tears spilled like rain.

"Rain..."

Drip. Drop.
Drip. Drop.
Drip. Drop.

When he tried to speak again, it was only in a very weak whisper.

"... It wasn't anyone's fault," he said.

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.

Leo faced him.

The moment that he did, he suddenly let go of Ao.

His eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry..." he gasped. "I'm so sorry... I need to go. I need to..."

Leo abruptly turned away, walking past him.

Ao watched as he opened the door.

He blinked.

Ah... You're leaving me again.

Sunlight streamed inside.

Leo paused before stepping out.

"I know... I know I don't deserve to be your friend," he whispered.

His voice was still trembling.

"I... I'm so sorry, Ao."

He shook his head and closed the door,
leaving him alone in the darkness.