・・・ i ・・・

How long has it been... since I last cried?

Even when it was too painful to endure,

even when Leo had left him alone before,

even when he had been at that person's funeral,

he hadn't cried.

Not once.

Not once, in the past two years.

If he cried, it would be all his fault.

If he cried, someone would get hurt again.

If he cried, it would just be a bother to everyone.

Fujiwara Ao didn't cry, because he didn't deserve to cry.

Yet... why now?

  ・・・ ii・・・ 

If I was able to turn back the time, I would.

Then I'll make it so that everything I destroyed will be right again.

Then I'll make it so that all the pain and tragedy that's happened because of me never did.

Everyday, I feel like something is eating away at me.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Slowly...

Until I can no longer remember when the last time it was when I felt that it was alright to be here.

I...

I... can't take it anymore.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts—

・・・ iii ・・・

'I'm fine', I said.

'I'm fine.'

'It's alright.'

'It's okay.'

'Everything is fine.'

I lied.

For a long time, I've been used to this kind of lonely, dull world.

'It's fine.'

I've told myself again and again that it was better this way.

I thought that as long as I did,
then perhaps everyone around me would be happier.

"But... that was wrong, wasn't it?

In the end, who was it that suffered the most?"

・・・ iv ・・・

Rie's voice was a painful, gentle whisper.

"... Tell me everything, Ao-kun," she said.

・・・ v ・・・

He closed his eyes.

I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.
I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

If I tell her, she might hate me.

If I tell her, everything I've built might break.

If I tell her, I don't think that I can stop myself.

I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.
I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared—

In that moment, Rie pulled away from him.

When he saw the look on her face,
an invisible weight placed itself on his chest.

Hashimoto Rie was making a small, forced smile, just like before.

Always like before.

She whispered again.

"... It's okay."

・・・ vi・・・

He flinched.

No. No. No. No.

Two words. Those two words.

Don't say that.

Don't be so kind to me.

You don't understand.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I—

"—Ao."

He blinked.

It was the first time that she had called his name.

Only his name.

He looked at her face, his hands trembling.

He couldn't take this kind of pain again.

He couldn't stop crying.

Why can't I stop?

Her eyes were brimming with tears that she didn't allow to fall.

Her lips were trembling.

Yet, Rie parted her mouth and spoke gently.

"You can tell me."

I—

He closed his eyes, unable to look at her.

And then

hesitantly,

reluctantly,

quietly,

he did.

He told her everything.