・・・ xxxi・・・

Tears.

There were genuine tears in his eyes.

For the first time in many years,
his father was crying.

Ao felt himself go numb.

It was suddenly hard to breathe.

His father, who never showed his emotions.

His father, who was always so cold.

His father, who never seemed to care about anything.

He was crying.

Ao couldn't speak.

So instead, he listened to his father's torn, quiet words.

He listened.

He listened to everything.

・・・ xxxii・・・

"Every time... Every time I looked at you,
I couldn't stop being reminded of your mother.

I don't know if you remember her, but...
You look so much like Kiyoko, even until now.

Every time I looked at you,
I couldn't stop being reminded that you were the child we never had.

That you were the son of the man she chose.

It was childish.
It was stupid.

I was your father, and I knew better than that.

Before she left, we were happy.

Me, your mother, and yourself.

I... wanted those days to never end.

But—I couldn't stop myself.

Hatred was far more easier than love.

So I hated you. I blamed you. I scorned you.

I... abandoned you."

・・・ xxxiii・・・

His father paused, reaching out for the glass of water on the table.

Ao watched as he drank it.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

When he finished, there was a short quietness.

Then, he parted his lips.

"In the end... I chose to love another child," he said.

"—Ame."

Ao froze.

"Your sister... I treasured her the way that I treasured you, before.

I wanted to start over.
I wanted those days to come back.

But I still couldn't forget what your mother did.

I still couldn't forget.

I was betrayed by the woman I loved.

It was painful.

In the end, my hatred became worse.

In the end, I saw you as a child I never wanted."

・・・ xxxiv・・・

Fujiwara Kyousuke turned quiet.

Beside him, the heart monitor beeped unsteadily.

Ao stayed very still.

When his father spoke again, his tone had changed.

It was almost a whisper now.

"I... am not asking your for sympathy or forgiveness," he said.

"The fact that it took me so long to finally realize this...

The fact that I only called you now because I'm running out of time...

To you, it might seem like a pathetic excuse.

And— And it is."

His voice cracked.

"Still... I apologize.

You can hate me. You can loathe me.

I deserve this.

But... the reason why you're here—
the reason why I called you was to tell you something I need to say before it's too late."

He looked straight at Ao.

His eyes were red.

Tired.

Weak.

Kyousuke opened his mouth and whispered quietly.

"I... don't blame you for what happened anymore."

・・・ xxxv・・・

Ao tensed.

He stopped.

The entire world froze.

The words that his father said next were the words that Ao never thought he would ever hear from him.

"...  It wasn't your fault, Ao."

・・・ xxxvi・・・

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Those were the words.

That words that he had always wanted to hear from his father.

The words that he never thought he deserved.

'It wasn't your fault.'

"—'It wasn't your fault.'
'It wasn't your fault.'
'It wasn't your fault.'
'It wasn't your fault.'"

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Ah...

It... wasn't my fault?

・・・ xxxvii・・・

Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.

His ear throbbed.

His legs were numb.

His hands were shaking.

Suddenly, he could breathe again.

Ao found his voice.

Quietly, hesitantly,
he spoke.

"I..."

・・・ xxxviii・・・

Ao balled his fists.

His tone was cracked. Quiet.

But he continued anyway.

"I... ever since I young, all I wanted was to see you smile.

Father... Dad...

... I just wanted us to be happy again."

His voice broke.

Ao stared at the floor.

The things that he wanted to stay were at the tip of his tongue.

It was hard.
It was so hard.

But he still went on.

"I did... I did my best to be noticed by you

I did everything I could to be good.

But you... never once looked my way.

It was always Ame that you loved more.

Because of that... Because of that, I ended up hating my own sister.

Because of that... I... to her, I..."

He clenched his trembling hands,
his words a whisper now.

"... I don't think that I'll ever forgive you," he said.

"The way I see it, your forgiveness isn't for me.

It's for yourself."

Ao breathed in.

"But... even then...

I'll try."

・・・ xxxix・・・

His father's expression was difficult to look at.

A broken, strained smile formed on Ao's face.

—Because despite everything,
I still accept you.

—Because despite everything,
I still love you.

—Because despite everything,
you are still an important person to me.

Despite everything...

Despite all...

... You are still my father.

・・・ xl・・・

Ao closed his mouth.

That was all he had and wanted to say, for now.

After everything that was said, no other words could form on his tongue.

His father realized this too.

No one spoke between them.

No one moved.

For now, this was enough. That was all.

Ao blinked once.

Ah... I need to leave.

The thought formed naturally in his head.

It was the only thing he was able to do at that moment.

He understood why his father wanted to see him. And now that he had said his piece, there was nothing else to do.

Ao turned around.

As he walked away,
his father didn't say anything.

Still, he could feel his gaze behind his back.

Step by step,
Ao reached the bleak, obsolete door.

He paused.

He raised his hand.

Before he could open it,
Ao chose to speak under his breath.

"Soon... I'll visit again," he mumbled very quietly.

He didn't know why he said that.

He wasn't even sure if he had enough courage to come back.

He closed his eyes.

"Goodbye... dad."