pes·si·mist/ˈpesəməst/nouna person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.

The silence in the air was comforting, strange; Ray always felt that way when he's near Emma. He used to hate silence; it was an eerie feeling that almost always made his mind go to a dark place. But now two years later it didn't bother him one bit. In fact he welcomed it with open arms when he was around Emma. Not because he gets sick of her voice or anything (he loves hearing her ramble on and on about her day to him) but because around her, the silence brings a strange sense of comfort to him. So it didn't really bother him when the pair was both assigned to clean the same bedroom.

There wasn't much to clean, while the younger members of their family were pretty young, they were also very neat and organized. Of course they can be very messy when they want to be. But they were kids, they were meant to be messy. And besides, all Ray and Emma had to do was pick up a few bed sheets, toys, replace the pillow cases, and make the beds. It really wasn't much to do, so it wouldn't take that much time. But even so, Ray cherished this tiny moment he got alone with Emma. Lately it felt like the pair hadn't been alone together as much as they used to be. Sure, Ray always traveled with Emma, but Don, Gilda, Violet and Zack were always there too. Not that their presence bothered him—okay maybe it did just a bit, but only when he wanted to be alone with Emma.

Ray picks up a messy bed sheet from one of the beds. Using both of his arms to hold it, he bends over again and picks up a second one. Looking back up, to his left he spots Emma replacing the pillow cases to every pillow. A smile is on her lips and Ray can't help but to continue to stare at his best friend. Her green eyes reminded him of emeralds that he had only seen as pictures in books he'd read, and how her hair reminded him of the sun,—then again Ray was almost always thinking to himself about how Emma is his sun—in his eyes, Emma was the most beautiful person to ever exist. And if he had the courage he would say it to her right here, right now.

As he thinks this Emma must've sensed his staring, as she turns around towards him and gives him her usual bright smile. Both Emma's smile and his thought causes him to feel his cheeks heat up and he quickly looks away from her and back to the bed. Swiftly he grabs another bed sheet and starts to wrap all three of them around his right arm. Trying to get his mind off his thoughts of Emma—which is very hard, considering the fact that he's almost always thinking of her in one way, shape or form—he knew very well what happens when he lets his mind go to this place, a place that only came into existence maybe about a year ago, a place that he used to consider forbidden, because this type of feeling wasn't allowed when their lives were in constant danger. And yet, here it is. Blooming and fluttering in his heart.

Ray had feelings for Emma. Very strong feelings, he knew he always cared very deeply about her—both her and Norman—and yet. At a certain point his care for her started to become stronger, deeper. It became something else, he always knew he would do almost anything for her, but now he would do anything, everything he can for her. His affection, fondness grew for her. He always thought she was cute, but sometime after their escape he found himself thinking that she was cute. When she would smile, pout, really any expression, he found himself thinking 'so cute', something he'd never done before.

He found himself wanting to hug her, hold her hand, followed by feeling his face become an oven, and his heart acting like he was trying to run a marathon but was out of breath and tired. And the fact that he got so embarrassed by just thinking about wanting to hold her hand was so stupid, and he swore he would never tell anyone that. Yet, even now thinking this to himself, he can feel his face heat up and thanks God that he turned away from her. He doesn't want her asking him if he's okay or if he's sick, followed by her placing her hand on his forehead and getting way too close to his face causing to heart to beat so fast he's sure he's about to go into a cardiac arrest. No, he'd rather not go through that again.

Ray internally curses himself for allowing himself to go into that place again. That place, when he thinks about Emma, and how precious, and important she is to him, how much he really cares for her. How much his feelings towards her have changed and grown. Because it's always followed by the fact that she'll never like him that way, he highly doubts that she could. Who would like the person who is the reason why you lost your left ear? Who swore to protect you and your family, yet was unable to save you from being kidnapped, stabbed, and let's not mention got your hands burned? And the list goes on and on, she could never like him, not when he's the reason all these things happened.

And yet, yet, a part of him still wishes, and hopes that she does. Though it's a very small part and that hope is little to nothing. But even so, he can't help but to wonder, does she have the same thoughts? Does her heart go crazy when he smiles at her? Does her face start becoming a shade of pink and red that they had only read about in books when she thinks about holding his hand? Does she secretly get extremely embarrassed when he pats her head like he does? Does she think he's cute? Does she ever wonder if they could ever be something more? Does she get strange urges to just hug him, hopes and hopes that he likes her back, thinks about just how important he is to her? Does her mind go into that place also? Does she even have a place like that in her mind?

God, he really wishes she does. He turns back around to face her and see's that she's no longer replacing the pillow cases. Now she's gathering all the dirty ones she tossed onto the floor so she can out them all in her basket. And he can't help but to tilt his head just a bit as he watches her.

He let his mind go into that place again, but he doesn't even care anymore. He feels his emotions swirling in his chest, and his thoughts racing across his mind. She really has no idea on how her presence alone affects him, does she? Her smile alone is enough to turn his bad mood into a good one. He loves how when they're traveling her smile is the first thing that greets him in the morning. Or when they return to the shelter for a few weeks, when he wakes up and goes to the kitchen to start breakfast, she's always the first person he sees and she greets him with a cherry 'good morning!' with that same smile.

In his eyes, she's the most important, beautiful, kind, caring, wonderful person in the world. And he wishes deeply he could tell her, but he won't. Not because he doesn't want to, because he very much wants to tell her this, but because just the thought of saying those things to her face makes him get embarrassed in a way he didn't even think was possible. And it's not only that, there's so much more he wants to tell her but there's something inside him that prevents him from doing so.

Ray takes in a deep—slightly shaky—breath as he starts to feel his heart beat faster. His hands are starting to shake just a bit, and his mouth feels dry. He's not even going to bring up his face. And his chest feels warm as all sorts of different emotions swirl in his chest.

Ah, this is exactly why he didn't want his mind to go into that place, because the result is always the same. When he thinks about his feelings towards Emma too much, they start to build up in his chest until they feel like they're about to burst. And usually he ends up blurting out something stupid or embarrassing right to her. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid, but it felt different today. Today it felt stronger, deeper. And Ray might've had the answer as to why, and honestly that answered terrified him. Because it meant that it might hurt just that much more with what he's about it to do.

He turns his head down to the ground. Was he sure that this was a good decision? He already knew he was going to regret it. He knew that bottling up emotions and such were never a good thing because one day they would all just over flow and come rushing out like a waterfall. But he never really had experienced that, but with these feelings to Emma. It felt like this was going to happen sooner or later, one day it would. And it seemed that today was that day.

He kept his feelings towards her bottled up for so long, he never told anyone about them. But that didn't mean they didn't catch on, he lost track of how many times Gillian teased him. Or the amount of times Gilda or Don—sometimes both—questioned him about his feelings towards her. Or when Yuugo would also tease Ray by asking him questions like 'how's your wife doing?'—something that he started asking a lot when Lucas once said that Ray and Emma were like a wife and husband towards each other, and like a mother and father to the younger kids. And Ray would be lying if he said he didn't also think that sometimes.

But he never once confirmed their questions or teases—of course he didn't deny them either—he would usually shrug his shoulders or always reply with 'like hell!' to them. Yes, it was childish but in his defense... Wow he can't even come up with an excuse.

He was about to act on his emotions, his feelings. Something he's never done before. But if it meant that these feelings would become less intense by getting them off his chest then so be it!

He could feel his heart hammering against his chest as he placed the bed sheets in his basket. The emotions swirling in his chest were like winds in a hurricane. After placing them in the basket he turns to Emma—who is placing the last pillow cases in her basket—and swallows a lump in his throat. And slowly he starts walking to her, but it soon turns into a slight jog. And when Emma notices him she picks her head up and opens her mouth to say something but is cut off when Ray wraps his arms around her neck, and bends over just a bit to lay his chin on her left shoulder. Due to the sudden action she stumbles back a bit, letting out a small, quiet yelp as the both tumble on the bed.

Her legs dangle off the bed just a bit as Ray's knees rested on the bed. His head now buried in the blanket and he could feel the tips of Emma's hair tickling his ear. And when she started talking he didn't need to see her face to know that there was a scold on it.

"Ray! What're you doing? Now we're going to have to make the bed again!"

But he ignored her scowling as he took in a deep breathe. His arms moving out from under her neck and he rests his hands flat on the bed near the sides of her head. And using his strength—

"Ray—"

He pushed himself up, cutting Emma off from her scold and makes eye contact with her.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Emma." He says slowly.

He watched from above as the glare on her face slowly transformed. He watched as her eyes slowly widen and her mouth slightly opened. His eye's never leaving hers. And though his brows were furrowed and he had a frown on his face, he knew that his cheeks were red. And he knew that she noticed that his lips were quivering just a bit.

Man, this was going to hurt.

"I love being near you, no matter what we're doing. I cherish the moments we get alone together like right now. In my eyes, you are the most important, most beautiful person to ever walk on this planet. There aren't enough words for me to describe the feeling I get when you smile at me. Sometimes I just get random urges to just hug you, or hold your hand. I want to stay by your side forever; I want to be there for you. Whenever I'm in a bad mood, or just having a bad day, the second you smile at more or even the second we run into each other it just goes away. Those moments were I would just randomly compliment you or just say something weird, ha-ha like now. I did it because I couldn't stop thinking about those things and so much more that I accidently blurt out something stupid."

He says all of this slowly, and sees that her expression still hasn't changed. He swallows another lump in his throat and then gives her a gentle smile.

"I really like you Emma. And I think I'm falling in love with you."

She opens her mouth to say something but Ray cuts her off. No, he's not ready to hear her rejection. Not yet. He breaks his eye contact with her and looks to his side.

"You don't have to give me an answer. I already know that you don't feel the same way. I've been holding this in for almost a year now, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. This won't change anything, we can pretend like this never happened if you want to."

He feels his hands shaking and his chest aches. And slowly he starts to push himself off of her. But suddenly something warm starts to wrap around his neck and forcefully pulls him back down so quick, their foreheads hit against each other and Ray lets out a quiet yelp of pain as he shuts his eyes. When he reopens them he sees just how close their faces are and a feeling of nerves flutters in his chest and he quickly tries to push himself up again. But he's only able to get about a foot away from her when her grip around his neck tightens and prevents him from leaning away or getting off of her. How the hell is she so strong?

"I think I'm falling in love with you too, Ray!"

Ray stops struggling as his eyes widen. Did he hear her correctly, or was the hit from their foreheads so hard he lost a few of his brain cells? He slowly turns his head to her and stares at her in astonishment.

"Y—You.... You what?"

Her lips curl into a loving smile and Ray feels his heart do a fucking cartwheel. And when Emma replies, she talks slowly.

"I think I'm also falling in love with you. I've been thinking that way for a while now. I get up early in the morning and try to make sure I'm the first person you see in the morning because I weirdly get nervous by the thought of being the first person you talk to at the start of the day. I get this feeling of warmth when you smile at me and my heart starts beating really fast. When you pat my head, I make sure to look down so you don't notice how red my face gets. Sometimes when I just think of you I start acting even more like a child. If you don't believe me just ask Gilda and Gillian." She chuckles, a sound that Ray loves hearing. And he feels something start to prickle in his eyes.

"I'm falling in love with you Ray, or maybe I already fell. I'm not sure, but I do know that this feeling is real. And that it's actually here. Eh? Why are you crying?"

He's snapped back to reality—strange, when did he even leave it?—when he sees a drop of water on her cheek. Only to realize that it's not water, it's a tear. And it's then he feels the tears rolling against his cheeks. Why is he crying? And somehow all the answers hit him like a truck.

'You're crying because she chose you back.' Something whispers in his head. And just like that, he feels more of the tears start to slowly roll down. He's crying because nobody had ever chosen him, fate had always thrown things out of his control, so he never, ever, had a choice. Until after they escaped and these feelings started growing, and now, not only does he have a choice, but that choice is choosing him back.

He's never cried in front of Emma—in front of anyone really. Not even on the night he planned to burn himself, and spilled out his true emotions to Emma.

The warmth of a hand on his left cheek drags him out of thoughts once again. And he sees her worried expression. And his heart aches just a bit for making her worried.

"Ray? What's wrong?"

A smile makes its way on his lips as left hand reaches up and he gently places it on top of hers. And he gently shakes his head.

"Nothing it's just—you're choosing me back." His voice quivers just a bit and Emma smiles once again at him but he continues talking.

"But, me? Are you sure that's it's me?"

"Why do you always have to be a pessimist? Of course it's you. Who else would it be?"

"But are you really fine with me?"

"I'm more than just 'fine' with you. Ray, you and our family are the source of my happiness."

"But—how could you ever like me? I'm the reason you lost your ear, got kidnapped, stabbed, and got your leg broken. If I had been paying more attention you would have never gotten kidnapped and maybe you wouldn't have gotten stabbed. I'm the source of your entire hurt and pain if anything. How could you ever like me if those are all my fault?"

Ray looks down and shuts his eyes, the tears falling down like a waterfall at this point. But the warmth from Emma's other hand makes him look and meet her eye to eye. And she has a slight scowl on her face.

"How can say that? Ray, those were not your fault, they're nobody's fault. You are not the source of my pain, you're the exact opposite. You comfort me when everything becomes too much and I need to cry, you constantly reassure me that you'll be by my side, you make me smile when I'm on the edge of a breakdown. You're all of those and so much more! That's why."

He stares at her for a few seconds in disbelief until he looks down and starts to quietly chuckle. When he looks up he has a smile on his face.

"Why do you have such bad taste?"

"I stand by my 'bad' taste." She says with a proud smile and they both start laughing, their eyes closed and their laughter bounces off the walls. As they laugh Ray slowly starts to lean down until he stops they rest their foreheads against each other. Emma wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him just a bit closer and slowly their laughter starts to become more and quieter until they don't say anything for a few minutes. Both of their cheeks red and smiles are on their lips.

"Ray?" Emma asks, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I think I love you, a lot."

"I love you too, more than you can imagine."

Ray places his right hand on her cheek, his tears have stopped and her cheek feels warm. And as he closes the gap between them he smiles.

Their kiss ends as quickly as it starts, and when he pulls away he's sees Emma with the reddest face ever. And she quickly buries her face in his chest so he can't see and he chuckles in reply. He takes this opportunity to wrap his arms around her back.

"You know," he starts "We're going to make the bed again."

He can feel her pout which makes him laugh. And she soon starts smiling.

"I know, but, can we stay like this for a while?"

He doesn't reply he only wraps his arms around even tighter as he rests his chin on her head. As that feeling of warmth and love takes over his heart. And this time, he's not afraid to welcome it with open arms.