Dear Ray,

I don't actually know how to start this, I've written so many letters tonight, and yet the second I start yours I don't know what to say. It's strange, it's never been this hard to talk to you, or just say anything to you in general.

Maybe it's because I know that, in a way, it's the last time I can talk to you.

So, where do I start?

Well, let's start with the fact that you're probably mad at me.

I'm sure you're mad at me.

And that's fine, if it was you or Norman, I would be mad too! I can't blame you, the choice not to tell you, or anyone was something very selfish of me.

But everyone was so happy; I couldn't bring myself to ruin that happiness.

And now I'm sure that you're heartbroken...

Maybe in the end, I only caused more pain by not telling you or our family anything. It was a very cruel decision of me. What would've happened if I did actually tell you guys? Well, I guess there's point in wondering that.

It hurts to know that I hurt you and our family, and that it's probably hard for you to read this. I didn't mean, nor did I want to hurt you, or anyone else.

Hey Ray?

Please don't give up.

I know it probably feels like the world is against you, but it's not! You have our family, our friends, they feel the exact same way you do, and are here for you!

You're not alone this time.

You'll never be alone ever again.

So if I see you up here anytime soon, I'm going to be very angry! As much as I'm going to miss you, I better not see your face again for a long, long, long, long time, okay!?

I really am going to miss you Ray, so much.

Please give Phil and Sherry a big, tight hug for me! And give Carol a kiss for me too! And tell them I'm so sorry I couldn't see them again.

Hey, I'm sorry I broke our promise. And I..

You know, I'll never forget that sun rise we saw on our first day outside of the plantation.

The stars in the night sky during those first few nights seemed magical.

I have never felt more relief flow through my body than the moment when I woke up in the tunnels and saw you alive, I couldn't help but to hug you!

The happiness that swirled in my heart when I saw you and Yuugo in Goldy Pond is indescribable.

That feeling of warmth from your hand when I woke up in the shelter, and the look on your face was something so reassuring, so warm, to this day I still remember that feeling, I don't think I can ever forget those memories even if I wanted to.

And when we held hands in the Seven Walls, it was something so, so... So beautiful. In a strange way, I guess you could say that we created life around us.

It's amazing how something so grand, to a simple gesture, can be forever burned and inscribed to my heart.

It's one of those about life that's just so amazing.

I'm going to be honest with you, and only you Ray, because I know that, if there is anyone in this entire world that I can trust all of my secrets with, it's you. It has always been, and always will be you.

Truthfully,

I'm scared.

I'm completely, and utterly terrified to die.

Death is a scary thing, but the thought of leaving you and our family is even scarier.

You're the exact opposite of me you know?

You're negative, stubborn, brave, mature, quiet, smart, and very selfless.

No one would have ever guessed that under that edgy aura of yours, is a very kind, gentle, and loving person. You're ready to protect our family at any means necessary, you adore playing with them, and I can tell that the thought of them growing up makes you somewhat sad.

You're a good person Ray, the kindness and love that you have is something that most people spend their entire lives searching for, so don't you dare let your thoughts tell you otherwise!

While I, on the other hand... I am a coward.

I'm annoying.

Loud,

Childish,

Impulsive,

Irrational,

Foolish,

And selfish.

I'm one pathetic excuse of a leader, huh?

But, with you by my side, you were able to balance out all of my traits with yours.

You're the reason I could be a leader, without you, I'm not sure if I could have done it.

I really hate that I'm going to die.

I don't want to die.

I really, really hate that I'm going to die.

There's still so much that I want to see.

So much I want to do.

And so many questions I still want to ask.

Did I leave some type of mark in this world?

Will anyone know that I was here?

Is all of this still a mistake?

Was I strong enough?

Was it all enough?

Will I be in anyone's heart?

Will I be in yours?

Would you ever want me in your heart?

Will you remember me?

Well, we all know that if you forget me, I'll just come back and haunt you forever!

Please remember me.

Please don't forget me.

I want to make you promise me that you won't forget me, but... It is okay if you don't want to! It's probably too late anyway.

Hey, Ray? Can I tell you something?

I love you...

I love you.

I love you!

I love you, so much!!

I've always wanted to tell you that, to say it to you in person, but I guess it's too late to do that now, huh?

Ray, thank you for sacrificing twelve years of your life for me and Norman.

Thank you for being my rational side.

Thank you for staying with me for all those nights spent in the archives room.

Thank you for reassuring me when I had doubts.

For being my rock,

For giving me that talk about my feelings and Norman's plan,

For staying by my side every day for the past two years,

For being my best friend,

My other half,

My lover,

And so much more that I wish I could tell you in person, and fit onto this little scrap of paper.

I'm sorry I slapped you on your birthday, and in the Seven Walls.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you the reward.

I'm sorry I couldn't see the future we wanted in person.

I'm so, so, so, so sorry!

Thank you for choosing to live on with me and our family that night. I'm sorry that I can't live on with you and our family. Trust me when I say that I would if I could. So, live on for me, please. Live your life for me; be happy for me, angry, laugh, cry, smile for me please.

Just live.

Thank you, for everything.

I love you, and our family, with all of my heart.

And I always will, forever and ever.

-Emma