Dear Emma,

I'm not really sure as to how I should start this. I've never done anything like this before, well, writing an actual letter I mean. Damn... I wonder if, it was this hard for you...

I'm doing... Fine, I guess. It's strange not having you around. I keep on thinking that you're in your room, or playing with the younger kids, doing chores, or even out hunting.

It's strange, you have always been a constant presence in my life, whether I liked it or not. But now you're just... gone. It's weird, I'm not used to it, not used to not hearing your laughter down the hall, I don't think I ever will be.

I think maybe I should catch you up to speed with everything. A lot has happened since you left.

First of all, we successfully rescued Phil and the others from Gracefield! And the first person he asked for... Was you. He missed you a lot Emma, and he still does. He really loves you Emma, you know that, right? I'm sure you do... Sorry I had to remind you.

We also made it into the human world safely! It's been... Interesting, to say the least. This new way of life, it's everything we've ever wanted, everything we've worked for, and yet, without you doesn't feel complete, doesn't feel right. Even writing this letter to you, it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right because I know that you won't read it because you're gone.

You're gone...

You can't laugh anymore, cry, get angry, make more memories. God, I would rather have you be yelling, and scolding me right now about how I've been straying away from our family since you left, instead of knowing that you are not here.

Emma, I miss you...

I miss you so much!

Waking up every day is so hard without you here. I miss your smile, your laugh, I miss you getting mad at me, telling me to stop teasing you, it's not the same...

I will admit it, I was scared to read your letter. And I avoided it like the plague for the longest time. Gilda had been holding it for me during the past few months. And whether the topic of it was brought up, I either left the room or wordlessly changed the topic.

It wasn't because I was mad at you, I could never stay mad at you. No, it was something else, something that terrifies me to think about.

I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you.

But, about two months ago. I decided, no, I thought I was ready. Ready to say goodbye to you, to the other piece of me, to my best friend.

I wasn't ready.

I don't think a part of me will ever fully be ready.

But that's what life is all about right? It throws hurdles, challenges, blade after blade at you, and no matter how much experience you have with life, no matter what you go through, you will never be fully ready to take. Because it doesn't matter whether or not you fall down, no. What matters is if you choice to stand back up, and bite right back at life when it bites at you.

That's what you taught me. And I don't think there is any other person in this whole world who could have taught me that besides you.

I do have to confess though, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted to see you again, and how... Easy it would be.

But those words, your words kept on whispering in my ear, day after day, hour after hour, the first thing I thought of when I woke up to when I went to bed.

"Just live."

I kept on thinking about them, and that's what I've been doing Emma. Every day of my life, one step at a time. Slowly but surely, I'm living.

But there's something holding me back, something that refuses to let me progress any farther, and as long as I hold onto it, I will only stay right where I am. And that something is...

You...

To live... In order for me to live for you, I have to say goodbye to you, and let you go.

But I'm guessing, you already knew that didn't you?

It must've hurt... It must've hurt so much to know that for everyone, and yet to still write those letters for everyone. You're such a strong person Emma, I can't understand how you did it all by yourself?

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry you had to be scared all alone, that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most, I'm sorry I let you die.

I'm so fucking sorry!

Emma, I don't want to say goodbye to you, because saying goodbye to you would mean accepting that you're truly gone. Saying goodbye to you would mean starting a new life, a new path to a new future, a future that... You won't be a part of.

Living a life, in a world, that you won't be a part of, terrifies me. Because you have always, always, been a part of it.

It's not that I am not ready, I am ready, I know that I'm ready. I've been ready to say goodbye for a while now.

But that doesn't mean I want to say goodbye.

God, I really don't want to let you go. But I have to, I knew that I would have to sooner or later.

Emma, let me at least tell you this.

You did something even better than leaving a mark on the world, you left a mark in people.

I'll make sure that whole world knew that a girl named Emma, who lead the cattle children to safety, was here, was born, and lived.

None of this was ever a mistake.

You were more than strong enough, Emma, you were the strongest one out of everyone.

Everything you ever did, was more than enough.

You already are in our family's hearts.

And you have always been in mine.

Emma, you are my heart.

Of course, I'll remember you... I will never be able to forget you Emma, even if I wanted to.

It's hurts to know, that you had those doubts, and that you never knew that none of them were ever true. But for me, what hurts the most is that, you won't know that I love you too. And if that makes me selfish, or the worst person in the world, then so be it.

You know what's strange? I've always lived my life for others, for you, Norman, our family. But I guess it's time for me to truly live my life for myself...

Thank you for the memories.

Thank you for the lessons you taught me.

And thank you... for just living, existing, and being here.

Just... Thank you, for everything.

I love you Emma.

I always will, forever and ever.

Goodbye, best friend.

Sincerely, your best friend, other half, and lover,

-Ray